Family life is not always cloudless. Between lovers, misunderstandings and conflicts often arise, which sometimes end in a break in relations. But it also happens that after a while a man realizes that he still loves his wife. How to return an ex-wife after a divorce?
The main reasons for the breakup
If a man firmly decided "I want to return my wife after a divorce," you need to first find out the cause of the situation. This is why in most cases a breakup occurs:
- Domestic aggression. This is not only about assault, but also about moral violence against a partner.
- Treason. Feelings for another person or erratic relationships are perhaps the most common cause of divorces.
- Mutual dissatisfaction. As a rule, this happens in couples who have married at an early age. As they get older, they realize that the partner does not at all meet their requirements.
- Lack of stability. The constant lack of money does not help strengthen family relationships.
- Fatigue. If one member of the family has all responsibility for the well-being of the family, he simply cannot stand it and become the initiator of a divorce.
- Intimate dissatisfaction. This sphere plays one of the decisive roles in the joint life of spouses. The problem is complicated by the fact that not everyone is ready to talk about sex out loud, let alone acknowledge the existence of a problem.
- Bad habits. The most common problem is alcoholism.
Before you return your ex-wife after a divorce, you need to pause. At least for a couple of weeks (or better for a month) you need to lie low. Believe me, she and you need this pause. During this time, passions subside, you can look at the situation soberly. After this time, people offended by each other will be ready to begin more or less peaceful negotiations. In the end, both of you need a pause in order to understand your feelings and think out a plan for further actions.
Make you jealous
One of the most common tips on how to get your wife back after a divorce is to play jealousy. No, this does not mean that you need to immediately start a new novel. Infidelity is bad both in marriage and out of wedlock. But it’s good if the spouse realizes that you are attractive to other women. To do this, you should work hard on yourself, and also appear more often in ladies' society (at work or in the company of friends).
Ask for help
Is it possible to return a wife after a divorce? Of course. But you need to act subtly and wisely. Despite the fact that women like strong and confident men, do not forget about the maternal instinct, which prompts the beautiful half of humanity to take care of cavaliers with care. Therefore, try to hint to your ex-spouse that you feel bad without her, that you can not cope. Perhaps this is what will serve as a good basis for reconciliation.
Work on yourself
How to return a wife after a divorce? The advice of psychologists mainly calls for introspection and self-improvement. You need to understand and accept that it was you (or rather, your mistakes, shortcomings or bad habits) that became the cause of the breakdown. If you don’t stop drinking, smoking, gambling, if you don’t find work, if you don’t stop being quick-tempered, why should your beloved resume relations with you? Before you appear before her, you must radically change.
Have a frank conversation
No matter how strange it may sound, people often get divorced due to the fact that they are corny can not talk to each other. But what's the point of regretting what happened if the situation can still be fixed. You need a calm but frank conversation, during which you recall the positive and negative aspects of your life together, identify errors and can assess the prospects for reconciliation. It’s good if the conversation will take place not at anyone’s home, but in a neutral territory, where you will feel on an equal footing.
Do a beautiful thing
How to return a wife after a year of divorce? This is not an easy task, because a lot of time has passed, a woman has already managed to get used to life without you, it is possible that she has new sympathies. In this case, a simple apology or banal courtship will not be enough. You have to do something for her, thanks to which she will feel like the main character of a romantic film. It can be a sea of flowers, hundreds of balloons, a romantic dinner on the roof of a high-rise building - fantasy has no limits.
Reconquer a woman
The moment of courtship is extremely important for both men and women. If after a divorce you understand that you are unable to forget your spouse, try to return to the moment of your acquaintance and arrange for her a second candy-bouquet period. Call your beloved woman in a restaurant, theater, concert or just a walk in the park. Give her flowers and sweets, give compliments. Perhaps this is exactly what both of you lacked in your married life. And even when the ice breaks, do not try to plunge into the routine again and abandon the romance. After all, if after reconciliation a woman realizes that the relationship has returned to its former course, your union will not last long.
If the spouse left with the child
A rather difficult task is how to return a wife with a child after a divorce. After all, the smallest member of the family is experiencing ups and downs in the relations of parents is especially painful. In this situation, you should follow these recommendations:
- Never interfere with a child in a relationship with a spouse. Do not try to manipulate them to force your spouse to change the decision. As a result, you may not be reconciled, but the baby will get a psychological trauma.
- Explain to the spouse the situation from the point of view of the child. Report to her that breaking the relationship most negatively affects the baby. Give arguments how the child loves you, how you get along well.
- Do not put pressure on your spouse in matters of meetings with the child. Act gently and unobtrusively, constantly interested in the baby.
- Do not blackmail with material issues. Remember that you have a conflict with your wife, not with your child. Help the baby financially, regardless of what note you parted with your spouse.
- Change in a positive way. A woman should see that for the sake of her and the child, you are ready to fight bad habits, work tirelessly, and improve yourself.
If the spouse has gone to another man
How to return an ex-wife after a divorce, if another man became the cause of the gap? Open competition, clarification of relations, and even more so a fight with a competitor - this is the wrong way. If your spouse chose another, then by some parameters he was better than you. Your task is to work on yourself in order to surpass the opponent. At the same time, try to be constantly in front of your beloved so that she can personally witness your transformation.
Regardless of the method chosen, how to return an ex-wife after a divorce, it is important to avoid common mistakes. Namely:
- Do not turn into a helpful henpecked. Women love men with character. In addition, if you change sharply in a positive direction, the woman will probably suspect falsehood.
- Do not try to influence your wife with logical arguments. Logic can be guided by divorce, but if you intend to restore the union, you need to listen to the feelings.
- Do not try to “buy” love. Flowers, gifts, sweets restaurants - all this is pleasant to the woman. But it’s unlikely that you can persuade your spouse to restore the destroyed union with money.
- Do not run yourself. Divorce is a serious stress. Especially if you still continue to love your spouse. Weekly stubble, wrinkled clothes and tousled hair are likely to scare the woman away from you even more.
- Do not let a woman feel power over herself. If a woman sees that divorce completely destroyed you, most likely it will not make you more attractive in her eyes. And even if in this state you manage to return your spouse, most likely, she will manipulate you.
- Do not be intrusive. Women like attention, but dosed. If you pursue her and fill up with love SMS-kami, then you will frighten off.
- Do not remind your spouse of her mistakes. If you want to return the woman, then forgive and forget her oversights.
Renewal of marriage is no less a responsible decision than the very first marriage proposal. Therefore, before proceeding with active actions, analyze your feelings. Do you really truly love your spouse? Or maybe you want to return to a settled life? Be honest with yourself. Sometimes it's better to let a person go and open up new relationships.