In order to correctly assess the possibility of the occurrence of such an action as a confidential conversation, you must first learn how to correctly and professionally assess the competence of a person in disposition to such. To do this, you need to know the features of the methods of psychology in order to reduce the conflict if it arose, and select the right words. Our main topic in the article: confidential conversation - what is it?
In psychology, there are different concepts of communication and its role in such a thing as confidential conversation. This is one of the basic needs of man, the attitude of man to the world. Here is a far from complete list of explanations for this concept. In life, people have a need for contact with each other, exchange of information, understanding of others, building a strategy for interaction, and this need is manifested just in communication. There are different types of communication. This is mediated, direct, informal, dialogic, group and mass. Mediated conversation takes place by phone, in letters. Direct communication - face to face. Informal - just a confidential conversation, this is a friendly conversation.
In communication, there are verbal and non - verbal means of communication. The second is very important when building a model - trusting or confidential conversation, and they determine the success of a confidential conversation. After all, there is such a saying - the language speaks one thing, and the eyes - another. Therefore, in a confidential conversation with an experienced person, it is very important that sign language, facial expressions always work in conjunction with what they say in language. Therefore, you cannot, if you want to correctly set up such a process as the organization of a confidential conversation, say one thing and signify another with gestures. There is a whole science that studies sign language - proxemic. Communication determines the distance at which it is comfortable to have a conversation. There is an intimate distance (0-50 cm) - this is just the communication of loved ones, soul mates. But the conversation, including confidential, between familiar people spend at a distance of 50-120 cm, the so-called personal distance. And finally, social and public distances, in which communication takes place at medium and long distances. When organizing confidential conversations, every little thing is important. The mentioned conversation distance is important. For example, a conversation table is usually associated with power - you are a guest, I am the boss. Therefore, it is important to have a confidential conversation not at the table, but put the chairs at 90 degrees between themselves. This places the interlocutor in trust.
In confidential conversations, the postures should be open, the body and head turned to the interlocutor, the palms are open, which also shows your openness in the conversation. The legs are not crossed, the muscles are relaxed, the gaze is straight in the face - this is the pose typical of a confidential conversation. For in the opposite case, your poses will indicate insincerity.
We describe some gestures that in a conversation will show what a person really thinks:
- jacket unfastened - good intentions;
- hands hidden behind - guilt;
- crossed on the chest - protection;
- hands relaxed - calm;
- a man sits on the edge of a chair - interest in a conversation;
- scratching his chin - pondering the decision;
- slowly doing different things - pondering the answer;
- covers his mouth with his hand during his utterance - deception;
- the owner of the place where the conversation is taking place begins to collect papers or something else - the conversation is over;
- the body is facing the exit - the desire to leave.
Here are some gestures by which you can find out how your interlocutor breathes.
Intonation, people can emphasize some point in communication, express feelings and emotions. It is domineering, mocking, ironic, confident. In confidential conversation and intonation should be confidential, calm, not hostile. The interlocutor will always trust the tone of voice, rather than what you say. If there are discrepancies between these concepts, then there is a hidden subtext, namely a confidential conversation - this is communication in which there can be nothing hidden.
At the beginning of a confidential conversation, it is important to establish appropriate contact with each other.
And for such a contact, it is important to make a good first impression. Clothing, voice,
gestures, facial expressions and so on - everything is important for a positive effect when establishing friendly confidential contact with the interlocutor. There are three conditions for contact with a person. This is sincerity,
acceptance of the interlocutor without any “necessary”, empathy - tuning in to the wave of the interlocutor, to his experiences.
In a confidential conversation, people do not just say words, but interact with each other, study each other, make contact, uphold their interests, try to trust and count on trust. There is a rule of forethought. All of the above has necessarily consequences. Therefore, to establish trust, you must take into account that you say how you show emotions, what gestures you use. It is necessary to use the principle of creating favorable psychological conditions in a conversation to establish a warm, sincere relationship, and conversation in particular. The rule of the corresponding impression suggests that if you want to have a confidential conversation, it is important to consider your appearance. He should not be aggressive. In addition, it is important if you want to start a trusting relationship, demonstrate first of all sincerity in the conversation and your attitude towards the interlocutor. If there are disagreements, then you need to learn to find points of agreement with the interlocutor in time, even when it seems that you have more differences. It is important to show by your own example how important it is to learn to trust the interlocutor even the most important secrets for yourself. Then the interlocutor will open up and begin to trust you.
And when some result has already been achieved in establishing a confidential conversation, it is important not to lose what they have achieved. After all, any compromise threatens with the loss of what was being established with such difficulty. You cannot allow falsehood in a conversation. Breaking the lies immediately sets up insurmountable boundaries between the two conversing. So if you have already established a confidential conversation, it is worth a lot. And in no case do not try to destroy such a shaky feeling as trust. Your courtesy, courtesy, understanding of the essence of the tasks will help you in such a difficult matter as a confidential conversation.