The question of whether it is possible to beat a child for educational purposes is considered an eternal one. So far, no answer has been found. Although some parents are surprised and believe that such a question is very strange, because a well-known fact - not the best of disciplinary strategies, is physical punishment.
Let’s try to figure out what is more effective in raising a baby - is it a whip method or a sweet gingerbread?
Is it normal to want to hit a child?
The important question of whether it is possible to beat a child for upbringing usually arises in parents when their beloved baby reaches two to three years of age. It is in this age period that the formation of personality takes place, the baby absorbs a lot of different information, learns to arm himself with new skills and study the limits of what is permitted.
It is clear that the process of growing up a child is accompanied by various troubles, because the baby learns to learn the world through mistakes and trials. He tries to study and test everything for strength, and such behavior quite often can be a danger to children's health.
In addition, it is at the age of three that babies enter a special crisis period when obstinacy, obstinacy, self-will and even despotism begin to manifest in their behavior. And some kids become uncontrollable.
Practically imperceptible is the approximate behavior of those adolescents who are prone to egocentrism, maximalism, used to manipulate their parents.
Because of all these situations, the question of whether children can be beaten even for their most powerful misconducts begins to spin in the head of moms and dads. Moreover, it occurs even in the most loving, gentle and most liberal parents. This is considered quite normal. But there are situations where the desire to punish your child with physical methods is something abnormal.
Talk about physical punishment
Since many parents have a question about whether it is possible to beat a child in the pope, we need to figure out if this is the only punishment? It turns out that the use of physical punishment does not at all mean the beating of children. This concept can include any effect made with the use of force - slap, deprivation of food, force-feeding, pushing, rude pulling on clothes or hands.
It doesn’t matter at all whether mom or dad picks up a rope or a belt, or if other improvised means (slippers, towels, etc.) are used. Any action that is aimed at causing pain, demonstrating one’s power or physical superiority will leave its mark in the soul of the toddler and older child.
But is it possible to beat children in Russia, from the point of view of the law, is still an open question. Now the family in this country is considered a closed territory. Therefore, each parent decides for himself - to beat or not to beat a naughty, but such a beloved child. But does everyone understand the difference between raising a child and violence against him?
To beat for educational purposes?
Mutual understanding is the basis of the modern method of raising a child. In some civilized countries of Europe, the physical impact on children has been prohibited and even criminalized for a long time. True, it cannot be argued that, firstly, in this case, all the children grow up very obedient and confident. Secondly, that the vast majority of children from such education bring much less harm and become more successful in adulthood.
So is it possible to beat a child for educational purposes? The advice of psychologists is subjective, but quite reasonable. Parents can beat the child in order to achieve an educational goal, but to make it so that later, in the future, these force methods are not needed. It is absolutely not necessary for any, even the smallest fault, to grab onto slippers, a skipping rope or a belt. No need to score your favorite child. There are many other punishments that can affect a child, perhaps more than beating - refusing some pleasure, standing in a corner.
To beat or still talk?
It is very important for each parent to become the elder for his baby, to whom he can come for advice on any occasion. But also the child must understand how he will be punished at home if he does something bad.
Two methods can be used at once - to talk with the child as often as possible, to become for him not only a parent, but also a friend, comrade. If at some point the child “flies off the coils”, without hesitating for a long time about the question of whether it is possible to beat a child in the pope, you should gently slap him with a belt or palm.
It is only necessary to take into account that such education will be valid only up to 4-8 years, and it should be started as soon as possible. When a child is already fourteen, it is already very difficult to change. In this case, only persuasion will come to the rescue.
Why can’t you beat children?
So can and should children be beaten for educational purposes? It is good that many adults who are forced or used to apply physical punishment to their own children can stop on time and do not beat them at full strength.
But even a light cuff, especially if it falls on the head, can harm a child’s fragile body. And the younger the child, the more serious consequences this can turn for him. Many consequences to a layman are completely invisible.
If we don’t talk about the most severe cases of violence against children in the family, then a large number of parents are revealed, who sometimes allow themselves to corporally punish a child. They are convinced: do not ponder whether children can be beaten in the priest by hand. This can be done, because such educational measures do not harm health, but a good educational effect will follow. But is that really so?
The effect of punishment
Such mothers and fathers do not think at all that such punishments, when adults slap their kids with palms, slippers, towels over the priests and other parts of the body, can affect both the physical and psychological levels.
In a child, basic trust in the world around him is formed precisely on the basis of a relationship with mom and dad. If the baby is abused by a loved one, this will subsequently cause distrust of other people. And this will negatively affect the socialization of the grown child.
The parent who hits gives an example of abusive, aggressive behavior. A child, faced with the stiffness of his father or mother, will believe that any conflict should be resolved only with the use of threats, force or other aggressive acts.
Borders and the division of people into groups
The personal boundaries of a child of any age will be violated by unwanted bodily contact (pokes, flogging with a belt, flip flops, shaking). His ability to defend the limits of his "I" will not be formed. This means that other people's words and opinions will become too weighty for a teenager, and maybe in his adult state.
If parents beat their children with a certain regularity, they will eventually divide all people into “victims” and “aggressors”. They will also choose a role for themselves. Then it will be fraught with not particularly happy life. Female victims will subconsciously choose too aggressive men as husbands, while male aggressors will suppress wives and children through threats and physical violence.
Constant bumps and slaps will make the child feel humiliated, which will make his self-esteem fall. The next thing that can follow is the loss of initiative, perseverance, self-esteem, perseverance.
Understanding Your Kids
Even ordinary lightweight flip flops on the pope are the measure that should be applied as a last resort. Let's talk about techniques that help you to restrain yourself in a difficult stressful situation, learn to control your anger and, perhaps, help to answer the question of whether to beat children when raising.
First of all, every effort should be made to understand why the baby is behaving badly. It is possible that this is due to a crisis of age or that something provoked the child. In such a situation, it is useless to beat the baby.
You have to understand, the kids are just learning how to correctly show their every emotion. Through disobedience, they express their protest against some life circumstance. Accessible in their own words, they still cannot explain, therefore they are indulging in pampering and trying to attract the attention of parents engaged in other matters.
How not to hit the baby in a fit of anger?
If mom feels that she can no longer restrain herself, you should take a short pause and do something that will help to cope with the negative. For example, you can just count up to five in your mind. Go to another room and tell the baby that you will be back soon. And then, when mom is left alone with her, she can crumple unnecessary papers or tear newspapers to free herself from anger.
If mom can calm her down, she can wipe the dust for a few minutes or pack things up. It is also allowed to eat something tasty - something that usually brings pleasure - a piece of cake, candy or a favorite salad.
One can imagine the situation from the outside - is it really so important. Useful memories of oneself in childhood - what kind of mom and dad felt when their parents punished them. A pretty good option to calm yourself is to take a warm shower using a gel with a pleasant smell.
You can often use humor. Almost any situation is discharged as a joke, and the problem will no longer seem so important.
Yes, such methods cannot help everyone. But if you wish, you can find some suitable solution.
We are looking for an alternative!
So is it possible to beat a child for educational purposes? The tips in this article will help parents restrain themselves from waving their arms and try to achieve obedience with more calm methods.
The advice of psychologists suggests that from a very early age, the baby needs to set boundaries for him. Explain to him what is possible and what is impossible, how to behave correctly in public places, it follows from the very moment that the baby begins to understand speech. And yet, no matter how well the parents are engaged in raising a child, periodic whims and pranks cannot be avoided.
Much more effective than physical punishment is a simple explanation of the undesirability of such behavior. True, if the baby is hysterical, it is better to start a conversation when he calms down. It will be easier for kids to recover if they wash them with cool water or turn their attention to toys.
Talking with the child should be very gentle, without licking and not pressing on him. It is necessary to inquire about the reasons for such an act of the baby, calmly explain to him why it is impossible to do so, how to fix the situation. It is wise to offer your child those behaviors that are acceptable.
If wrongdoing happens for the first time, there will be enough suggestion and warning that the next time the punishment will follow (parents voice what it will be).
The right educational measures
If you choose which of the educational measures you want to apply, then it is better to pay attention to non-force methods of influence: deprivation of going to the cinema, cafe or for a walk, playing games at the computer, pocket money and the like. It is very important in this situation to be consistent parents: if mom or dad promised to punish for bad behavior, then this is what should be done. Because the child, having felt his permissiveness, will repeat his pranks many times.
To eradicate unwanted behavior, you need to talk with your children as much as possible, show sincere interest in their friends and environment, because many problems begin there. Do not forget that children copy adult behavior. We need to think about it, maybe in some way the parents themselves set a bad example for the baby (they do not fulfill promises, use swear words). If adults understand what they’re wrong about, they should also work on themselves.
Punish, but right!
So is it possible to beat a child for educational purposes? Of course, it’s better not to. True, the refusal to use physical “arguments” in communication with a baby or teenager does not at all mean that it is necessary to completely abandon such an effective measure as disciplinary action.
If the child has committed a rather serious offense, parents should take certain steps. Otherwise, repetition of misbehavior cannot be avoided. And it will be very difficult to deal with such a massive phenomenon of "pampering".
To begin with, before punishing, it is necessary to find out the motive for the perfect act. It is likely that the reason for the failure of the phone or camera is not the desire to spoil an expensive thing, but try to study its structure. Punishment can be avoided, it is important to just talk with the child. Explain to him the value of the spoiled thing.
If the baby is too aggressive, it is permissible to leave him in the room alone - without toys, a computer or books - for only a few minutes. This is called the timeout method. True, it is unacceptable to leave the children in a dark room or closet.
Is it possible to beat a child for educational purposes? Still, no. You can deprive the child of some pleasure. Just to begin to figure out what is really important for him. For a little peanut, a ban on watching cartoons is suitable. For an older child - communication with peers.
The method of emotional impact. Many children are not aware, due to their age, that they make their mom and dad very painful with their bad deeds. You can show how upset the parents were the behavior of the child.
Children should be taught to be responsible for their actions. For example, I painted a table or chair with paints - we need to wash everything. I got a bad mark at school - to learn and fix everything. For many children, such methods cannot be called punitive. On the contrary, over time, responsible behavior begins to form in them.
Asked by no means the simple question of whether it is possible for parents to beat their children, it should be understood that when applying any physical punishment, mothers and fathers sign their own weakness and that they do not know how to convey their thoughts to the baby in other ways.
Injuries of a psychological nature that children received in childhood and which are the result of brutal upbringing may well be “destroyers” of future children. They are also able to forever spoil their relationship with their closest and closest people - moms and dads. Therefore, before deciding to spank a baby, you need to think twice and try to find a more humane way to influence.