What to do if the child is lying: reasons, education methods, advice from psychologists

Small children, communicating with their peers and with adults, are very fond of telling fabricated stories that they give out as reality. Thus, a person at an early age develops imagination, fantasy. But sometimes such stories disturb parents, because over time, adults begin to understand that the innocent inventions of their child gradually become something more, developing into ordinary lies.

Of course, few parents will look at such a phenomenon calmly. In order for their child not to turn into a pathological liar, adults are trying to wean him from a similar habit. What to do for this? Find out the causes of fraud and change your own approach to education.

Baby lies - is this normal?

Psychologists are convinced that, to some extent, a tendency to deception is a normal stage in the development of a child. Everything that the baby feels, hears and sees in the very first years of his life is incomprehensible and new to him. The kid is forced to process large amounts of information and use it every day. And if an adult understands what is true and what is fiction, then the child has yet to learn how to do it.

the boy covered his mouth with his hands

The logical thinking of the crumbs is only being formed. That is why he sincerely believes in those tales that adults tell him. If something becomes incomprehensible for the baby, then he begins to connect the imagination. At some moments, fantasies and reality begin to intertwine. This is the main reason that parents hear lies from their child. However, the child is sincerely convinced that he is only telling the truth.

But sometimes children begin to lie deliberately. This happens, as a rule, in cases where the parents forbid them anything. In this case, the baby begins to look for ways in order to achieve the desired. The most obvious way to do this is through his cunning. That is why children begin to lie consciously, while manipulating adults.

Sometimes the origins of such behavior are hidden in self-doubt or in the desire to increase their own self-esteem. Sometimes a lie avoids punishment, and the child, realizing this, continues to lie for any reason.

Child deception can hide quite deep psychological problems. That is why parents should carefully understand each situation. Modern psychology has identified a number of premises that encourage children to lie. Consider the main ones in more detail.


The child begins to lie constantly because of fear of punishment for his actions. Such behavior is typical for those families where parents are excessively strict and place excessive demands on their children.

If a child is lying, what should I do? To solve the problem, psychologists recommend that parents keep calm in relations with their child. Adults should not punish liars not too severely and only for serious misconduct. If you shout at the child for the slightest offense, scare him with flogging, constantly deprive him of watching TV and sweets, then he will begin to be afraid of his parents. Strictly and often punishing the baby, adults provoke him to have a desire to avoid this in any way. Psychologists recommend taking the right decision based on the current situation. So, if the child broke the cup, then let him remove the fragments, if he broke the toy, then let him try to fix it, if he received a bad grade at school, then let him do more and correct it. Such conditions will become the fairest for a small person. They will not offend his dignity, because of which he will no longer have a need for lies. Otherwise, becoming older, children will constantly fence themselves off, shifting blame on others. This will make it difficult for them to find friends and lead to problems communicating with peers.

Increase self-esteem

Sometimes children begin to talk about being endowed with superpowers in the form of incredible strength, dexterity, intelligence, endurance and courage, or to claim that they have an unusual and very expensive toy or an older brother - a famous athlete. Of course, for adults, the fact that the child gives the wish for the reality is obvious.

boy in adult costume

If a child is lying, what should I do? How to treat such parents? Psychologists say that such a hoax is a warning signal. Of course, if such stories can be heard rarely, then do not worry. They can be considered a children's fantasy. However, in cases where incredible stories are repeated regularly, then most likely the child is gnawing with uncertainty, and in this way he tries to gain authority among his peers. It is possible that in the children's team he feels bad.

Is the child lying to parents? What to do in this situation? Most likely, fictional stories are a way to interest loved ones. Consequently, the child lacks attention, affection, warmth, understanding and support from parents. What to do to get rid of constant deception? To do this, it is enough to let the baby feel that they really love him, giving him more attention and trying to develop his abilities. Psychologists recommend that parents read children's encyclopedias and books with their child, communicate more and walk more. It is worth taking your child to the sports section or to any club. There, under the guidance of professionals, the child will begin to develop his abilities, gain confidence in himself, and then he will be able to talk about real achievements.

Inconsistency with the aspirations of parents

Similar behavior is usually found in schoolchildren. Having reached adolescence, they seek to avoid parental pressure and control. For example, a mother wants her daughter to be a musician, and the girl likes to draw. Or the boy dreams of a radio circle, and dad wants him to become a translator. At a time when parents are not at home, such children construct and draw, and then tell that they were engaged in English or music. Sometimes a child with average abilities lies, whose parents want to see him as an excellent student. Such a student is constantly making excuses, talking about the bias of teachers.

girl with glasses

What to do if a child is lying because he does not fulfill the wishes of his parents? Adults need to understand that they are most likely dreaming that their children will do something that once did not work out for themselves. Or maybe such expectations contradict the interests and makings of a child? In addition, you need to understand that a son or daughter will not be able to achieve success in an unloved affair. In order to correct the situation, psychologists recommend giving children the opportunity to go their own way. In this case, the fraud in the family will be much less.


All people sometimes make mistakes. But if a child has acted poorly and at the same time tries to make excuses, finding thousands of reasons and blaming others, then parents should seriously understand the situation.

mom leaned towards the baby

What to do if the child is lying? On the advice of a psychologist, with a similar problem, parents need to support their child. In order to eradicate children's lies, pronounced as self-justification, you will need to constantly discuss with the baby everything that happens to him in life. If a child, because of pride, does not want to plead guilty, then he will need to talk with him, and to do this in a friendly and gentle manner. Parents should explain to their child that they will not stop loving him, even if he first got into a fight or took a toy from his peer. Seeing that adults support him in any situation, the child will begin to trust them more.

Setting personal boundaries

In adolescence, some children believe that parents do not need to know much about their lives. That is why they do not seek to talk about their friends and actions. The teenager is silent about who he communicates with, and also where he walks. Often, parents justify such behavior when their child is rude, secretive and gradually moves away from the family, by a transitional age.

If a child begins to lie, what should parents do in this case? In order to gain understanding with a daughter or son, you will need to gain their trust. At the same time, adults should not over-patronize their child or strive to influence it in an aggressive way. In this case, the adolescent will even more strongly show a desire to gain independence and get out of control.

Lies and age

Psychologists note that the child applies the first skills of simple and easy deception, starting from six months of his life. This is usually laughter or crying, used to attract the attention of adults.

baby in the corner

With age, deception begins to take on more sophisticated forms. How can this be explained? The fact is that at each age there are certain difficulties in the formation of a childish nature. Consider this should parents who set out to wean their child from constant lies and deceit. The first step towards achieving this goal is, of course, the elimination of the reasons that provoke lies. Further, it is recommended to take the advice of educational psychologists offering educational methods in accordance with the age of the child.

Lies at 4

Sometimes children at this age begin to come up with more and more ridiculous excuses for their unseemly acts. If in this way a four-year-old child lies, what should I do? On the advice of psychologists, parents should not punish the baby for this. First of all, it is necessary for your child to explain the following: what he says is absurd. The child must know that this is not good and stupid. But parents, constantly hearing from him all new tales, should think about the fact that maybe the kid is simply not enough adults?

What to do if the child is constantly lying at the age of four? A fairly effective tool for children of this age will be reading bedtime stories. In addition, psychologists recommend that parents take their child to puppet shows.

5 years cheating

At this age, the main reason for childhood lies is the fear of cruel punishment. If a five year old child is lying, what should I do? Tips for parents of such children relate to the revision of their methods of education. It is possible that they should be replaced by more friendly, loyal and democratic. Adults must rid the preschooler of the fear of punishment. By this they will eliminate his very motive, which provokes deception. Parents need to praise their child more often and less likely to punish as a punishment. When the child feels the love of his parents, he will trust them more.

First-graders lie

At this age, children begin to imitate adults most of all. The first grader already has his own opinion about the behavior of parents. If adults in the presence of a child deceive each other, then they should not be surprised afterwards that their child is telling a lie.

If at 6-7 years old the child is lying, what should I do? To eliminate this problem, parents should give their child their own example of behavior where there are no omissions, lies, deceit and dodging. A child living in a sincere and trusting atmosphere will have no need to lie.

Deception at 8

Children of this age and older are able to lie very convincingly. Starting from the age of 8, a child becomes more independent, he begins to strive for freedom. And if parents continue to over-patronize their child, then he will begin to actively avoid control over their personal lives.

boy holds fingers behind his back

Sometimes the reason for cheating at this age is the child’s fear that he will not correspond to the ideal that adults have created, will make them angry with bad grades at school or his behavior. If at 8 years old the child is lying, what should I do? In this case, psychologists recommend that parents pay attention to the atmosphere in the house. Most likely, their son or daughter feels uncomfortable among relatives who are not interested in the opinion of a small person and who do not trust him.

Psychologists say that children will not deceive their parents if they know that the family will take their side in any situation and support them, no matter what happens to them. If the child is sure that if they punish him, then only fair, then he will not have to lie. To create a confidential atmosphere, parents should be interested in the affairs of their child and tell him about the events of their day.

What to do if a child is lying, despite all the attempts made? In this case, psychologists recommend telling him about the consequences that fraud can bring. After all, lies only for a while will solve the problem, and after that it will be easily detected. The liar is also recommended to ask if he himself wants to be deceived. At the same time, adults should make it clear to the child that his constant lies will lead to a loss of authority among others.

Nine year old lies

All of the causes of deception listed above affect the behavior of children entering adolescence. However, in addition to this, such a child until the beginning of his youthful period has one more reason to hide the truth. It is from the age of 9 that children begin to create personal territory, and they have a desire to go beyond the boundaries that adults have set for them. A consequence of this is a change in adolescent behavior. They become uncontrollable and naughty.

What should parents do in this case? The main thing that psychologists advise is to remain calm. And do not allow yourself to be annoyed at children, because it is also very difficult for them in this age period. It is recommended that mothers and fathers spend as much time with their child as possible and trust them to independently carry out important tasks. In order to improve children's behavior, it is advisable to ensure that the son or daughter respects the daily routine, family traditions and generally accepted rules of life.

A teenager lies 10-12 years old

What are the reasons that a child at this age is cheating on parents? Sometimes he is forced to tell a lie by the aggressive behavior of people close to him. So, in some families, for any misconduct, physical punishment is applied to the child. For unwanted trash, an untimely cleaned bed or an unassembled briefcase, aggressive parents can slap or slap in the face to their child. It is the fear of reprisal that forces the student to hide the truth.

What to do? The child is lying at 10 years old! Sometimes a teenager begins to lie because of a divorce from his parents. Indeed, parting with the father is a severe trauma, which is primarily caused to children. And if at 2 years the baby still does not realize what is happening, then the 10-year-old teenager is already experiencing a family drama. In addition, mothers often tear off their evil on children, accusing them of what happened.

If a child is lying at 10 years old, what should I do? In this case, parents should analyze their own behavior. It is possible that they want to see their child as the winner of sports or olympiads. According to psychologists, children are afraid to disappoint relatives and therefore begin to lie to them. If the fraud is revealed, then the teenager immediately blames the blame on the desk partner.

If a child is lying at 11 years old, what should I do? Parents should also review their behavior. Indeed, children are often deceived when they see the lies of their family members.

If a child is lying at the age of 10-12, what should I do to teach him to tell the truth? Sometimes this phenomenon is the result of excessive custody. At the same time, lying is a means for a child to fight for their rights. Review your behavior and the situation will be corrected.

Stealing money

A person is capable of an illegal act at any age. But when frank and friendly kids suddenly steal something, it very upsets the parents.

child holds coins

It often happens that a child steals money and lies. What to do in this case? Parents should have a conversation with their child in order to exclude material benefits. As a rule, a child cannot explain his act. And if the offender is punished without finding out the reason, then at 13-14 years the situation may worsen. The child will regularly steal money. What should parents do to prevent this? First of all, think about your relationship to your child. Divorce, as well as cold or hostility in the family could negatively affect the child. In order to eliminate the cause of theft of money, adults need to start with themselves - to improve the atmosphere in the house, shout less and show as much love for their child as possible.

Source: https://habr.com/ru/post/A11453/

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