What to do if a guy cheats: psychologist's advice

Betrayal by a loved one in the form of treason is a far from new phenomenon and not at all rare in our time. Many girls suffer from infidelity of a guy, husband, beloved man. Paradoxical as it may seem, but men's logic is based on the fact that once is not treason. Be that as it may, this situation is bad. And most unhappy girls in her often wonder what to do if a guy cheats?

Why are cheating?

Men can have a lot of reasons for treason, both real and invented by them independently. Psychologists say that many preconditions from deep youth or recent reasons can contribute to this. For instance:

  • childhood trauma due to the father who had gone to another woman and growing up in an inferior family;
  • imperfections of character and polygamy in relationships;
  • the presence of signs of a daffodil, encouraging increased attention of others to themselves;
  • life stress and erroneous action in a fit of loss of self-control;
  • inattention on the part of the wife herself or loss of interest in her due to the gradual withering away of her female beauty and insufficient personal care.
    Infidelity of a loved one

How to understand that a guy is cheating?

In fact, to understand that a man was carried away by a new passion is not difficult. The fact is that during this period he changes his behavior model. This happens mechanically, on a subconscious level, he himself does not even notice how he begins to behave differently. And an attentive loving girl cannot fail to notice this.

To find out what the guy is cheating, some obvious changes in his behavior will help, namely:

  • he spends much less time with his beloved;
  • often begins to linger at work for unknown reasons;
  • puts passwords on gadgets;
  • while talking on the phone he goes to another room;
  • Receive nightly messages
  • starts to look better and pay more attention to his appearance;
  • in conversation with a loved one often becomes irritable or completely inattentive to her.
    Gadget Passwords

What to do in case of betrayal of a loved one?

Having learned the unpleasant truth, the girl does not always know what to do if your boyfriend cheated. To begin with, of course, you still need to pull yourself together by all means and try to come to your senses. Nobody needs a nervous breakdown based on jealousy, in which you can do stupid things. Therefore, firstly, you need to try to calm down. Secondly, to come to the conclusion that this situation needs to be discussed with the culprit of what happened and listen to his response thoughts on this matter. In no case should you succumb to a crazy stream of emotions and run towards suicide or physical reprisals against offenders in the person of a beloved man and his mistress, because all the problems in the world are solved.

Humility or rebellion?

How can it be when you are on the verge of despair, and what if your boyfriend is cheating on you? You can go in two ways:

  • to reconcile with what happened and forgive the offender - it is sometimes very difficult for women to deprive themselves of the relationship with which she is so accustomed, so apologies and promises of the impossibility of relapse force her to accept adultery and let the traitor back into the family;
  • to be unshakable and to cease contact with a person who has committed an act of betrayal in relation to a beloved woman.

Here you already have to choose one of two and rely only on your feelings and your own feelings.

If the guy is cheating

How to forgive a traitor?

If a girl has decided to follow the path of forgiveness, she needs to think about how to overcome her negative emotions and a feeling of emptiness. In the course of hard work on yourself and finding answers to the question of what to do if your boyfriend is cheating on you, you need to proceed from your beliefs and take into account the position of the guy himself. After all, there are times when a person truly sincerely repents of his deeds and tries to renew in every possible way the broken relationship with his beloved, proving to her daily his love and desire to return everything to its place.

The following actions will help to overcome the feeling of overwhelming resentment:

  • a break in the relationship - you still need to give yourself a little time to move away from the situation and begin to think constructively;
  • agree to negotiations - in the end, it is very important to hear from the young man the reason for his act and only then look for the root of the problem;
  • Having identified the agreed root of the problem, you should analyze the situation and draw conclusions about whether it makes sense to continue to maintain relations;
  • try to live together again, tuning in to a completely new format of relationships, with the addition of new family traditions, with spending more time together, with life only in the present and with the cessation of discussion of the past.
    Humility or rebellion

How to release the guilty of betrayal?

If you can’t come to terms with a feeling of jealousy, pride and resentment, you need to be able to force yourself to break off relations. And in the case when you yourself could not find the answer to the question of what to do if the guy changed, the advice of a psychologist will help the unfortunate girl recover. A qualified specialist will provide an opportunity to understand yourself, comprehend what happened, look at the situation from the side. The psychologist will help to understand that if a guy is cheating, then this is not the end of the world, because there are a huge number of other men who can be a worthy replacement for a traitor. During the rehabilitation course of the specialist’s techniques, the victim of infidelity gradually comes to the realization that the young man who offended her feelings did not meet the wedge and that she was ready to let him go.

Night messages and phone calls

Does it make sense to take revenge?

There is a category of girls who are less humble. When asked what to do if the guy is constantly changing, they see only one single correct answer - to behave in accordance with the behavior of a negligent lover. And they begin to take revenge.

Many believe that if they change in response, they will thereby reward the offender with his merits. But in fact, something else happens: the girl herself is morally degrading, falling into dirty intrigues and giving her carnal love to another just to harm the traitor who deserves this pain. Moreover, far from always such an act of retaliation has at least some significance for him. After all, if he allowed himself to defile a sincere pure relationship with his beloved woman, then he doesn’t really care about her feelings, sensations. Accordingly, he will not be very upset by the fact of reciprocal betrayal. Is that a little outraged, and that only out of a sense of possessiveness. That is why psychologists recommend that girls who find themselves in this situation understand for themselves that there is no point in taking revenge on someone, because by doing so, they only inflict wounds on themselves.

How to heal wounds after rupture?

Not everyone can forgive and somehow come to terms with betrayal, but they succeed. People continue to live on, starting from scratch and trying to glue their cracked love. But what if the guy cheated 3 times? 4? 5? What to do if his infidelity is regular? The only true answer to these questions is to part with it unequivocally. Who needs a person who does not appreciate forgiveness, does not try to earn the same attitude and does not like his other half? Any girl with self-esteem will step over herself, overpower her feelings, but will not allow herself to live with such a person. Another question is how to heal wounds after rupture. And how to become happy again after what happened?

Getting rid of photo sharing

How to become happy again after treason?

Many girls can hardly endure a breakup, especially if it is associated with cheating on a guy. In this case, it is rather difficult to pull yourself out of a state of depressive melancholy. But everyone has one life, and you need to use every day, every moment, catch every second of this fleeting time, because there will no longer be a second chance to live it again.

Trying to be happy again

Step-by-step work on yourself will help you get yourself out of a state of gloom:

  • closing all possible ways to communicate with a former young man;
  • the elimination of all photos and things reminiscent of his presence in the house;
  • the termination of surveillance of the betrayed young man and his new life on social networks;
  • focus on work or favorite hobby, hobby, hobby;
  • openness to new communication, new acquaintances, more frequent pastime in the company of friends;
  • receiving a surge of new sensations and emotional charge from an unknown sport that causes an adrenaline rush;
  • recording for dancing or in the gym, self-development, self-improvement;
  • openness towards new relationships and new love.

The actions taken will lead the girl betrayed by the traitor to moral healing and will gradually return her to the normal rhythm of life.

Source: https://habr.com/ru/post/A11570/

All Articles