Man is a social being, which means that most of his life is devoted to communication.
Communicating, we have an impact on each other, which can be either simple (request) or very complex (various methods of manipulation).
Success in various matters depends on how well we know the art of communication.
In order to learn how to easily interact with people, you need not only competent phrase construction and smooth speech, although this is also important. The art of communication involves the ability to hear the interlocutor, to understand him and to build his speech and behavior in accordance with the situation.
Let us consider in more detail the concept of communication. Modern psychology considers three aspects of this process:
- Communicative communication - the exchange of information between interlocutors.
- The perceptual side is the perception of each other by the interlocutors, the creation of an atmosphere of mutual understanding.
- The interactive side involves the creation of conditions for the interaction of people among themselves.
The development of communication skills involves learning how to convey your thoughts to the interlocutor, to become understandable. The ability to be precise is important here. Possible errors are most often associated with psychological difficulties, such as isolation, shyness, anxiety.
These obstacles to free expression of one’s thoughts are often called communicative barriers.
But it should be noted that communicative abilities are not innate. Any person can reveal them in himself if he makes an effort.
Currently, there are many psychological trainings and special classes that can help you learn to communicate easily and freely.
Trainings aimed at developing communication skills, as a rule, include several levels. This is the ability to convince the interlocutor, the development of non-verbal impact skills , as well as the ability to with honor come out of any conflict situation. Sometimes other steps are added.
If you cannot attend such classes, then simple recommendations will help you to overcome communication barriers and achieve success in any situation.
Since childhood, we all have basic communication skills that are embedded in our consciousness in the form of certain patterns. This is a greeting, farewell, sympathy, apology, refusal, request, demand, and others.
As a rule, if we interact with strangers at the most superficial level (for example, with the seller in the store), these samples (templates) are enough. In the usual situations worked out before automatism, we practically do not experience any communicative difficulties.
They begin where a new or exciting situation arises. For example, when applying for a job, or when you need to make a marriage proposal. This is where the most varied communication barriers await us, which we then describe with the words “language lost”, “I don’t know what to say,” “I was simply numb” and others. Later we understand how it was worth behaving, what to say, and bitterly regret our own helpless state. To overcome such difficulties, it is necessary to develop communication skills.
Why is this happening and how to deal with this phenomenon?
Most often, the reason that we cannot easily and calmly talk with any person on any topic is the so-called shyness. A person experiences fear and, as it were, “hides” internally, holding back his sincere feelings.
A shy person is overly concerned with how he looks, what others will think about him. He is constantly unsure of the impression he makes. The best recommendation in this situation is to look at yourself from the outside. How? For example, you can record on the camera how you say, walk, laugh. And then, looking at the result, change what you do not like about yourself. An important warning: if you have never seen yourself on a record before, you may experience shock. This happens to most people, because our internal self-image is quite at variance with how others see us. Therefore, do not draw conclusions after the first look. Examine the record several times and only after that analyze your pros and cons.
Next tip: learn to freely express your feelings. If you can’t do it with words, start with movements. Dance is best for this. Left alone, turn on pleasant music and dance as you like. Let your movements be strange or even wild, do not be shy, because no one sees you. With the help of spontaneous dance you will better understand yourself, many internal “clips” will go away.
It is also helpful to paint feelings. This method is used in psychotherapy and helps to remove barriers.
If it's hard to talk, try writing first. The expression of thoughts on paper will give them clarity and completeness, which will gradually manifest itself in speech.
The development of communication skills may include other ways. You can choose the one that suits you best.
In conclusion, I add that any internal hindrance is surmountable, you are able to change, although sometimes the path to success is long and thorny. The main thing is not to give up!