Closure and shyness are the main enemies of cheerfulness and personal development. Communication with others is an integral part of life, through which a person acquires knowledge and achieves goals. Valuable tips on how to stop being closed will help you get out of the cocoon.
Causes of the problem
How to stop being closed and shy? You should start by finding out the cause of the problem. Here are the main ones:
- Lack of communication skills. This happens when a person spends too much time alone.
- Genetic factor. Some character traits are inherited from parents.
- Low self-esteem. If a person is not confident in himself, it is very difficult for him to build communications.
- Psychological trauma. If previously a person experienced severe stress due to public shame, most likely, from now on he will avoid communication in order to protect himself from new shocks.
- Constant criticism. If family members, friends or colleagues constantly criticize a person and belittle his dignity, it is not surprising that he will lose self-confidence and become closed.
Method number 1: get rid of egocentrism
The first and most important step to how to stop being closed is to abandon the thought that others closely monitor your every move. This is pretty easy to do. For example, you are very worried about what other people look like, what they say, how their voice sounds or what mistake they made? Surely not. You are busy with your problems, take care of your appearance. So the people around are focused only on themselves, but certainly not on you. If you said something wrong or did it, if you accidentally stumbled or dropped something, if you are not very fashionably dressed, believe me, this does not bother anyone but you.
Method number 2: feel unique
Stop downplaying your dignity and comparing yourself to others. This is a sure way to stop being closed. Set aside an hour of time for introspection. Take a piece of paper and write all the good that you think of yourself. Write without hesitation, without underestimating your merits. Now pick up a bright marker and highlight those characteristics that distinguish you from others. Surely you have something to be proud of. Look at this list every time you lose confidence.
Method number 3: do what is not expected of you
To do unexpected things - this is how to stop being an introverted person. This is a bit of a riot, but in a good sense of the word. For example, are you used to dressing in a simple, discreet style? What about appearing in public in a bright and daring outfit? Are you used to keep silent at work or in the company of friends? What about boldly expressing what others are embarrassed to say? Does everyone consider you a boring homebody? What about going on a hike or an extreme tour?
Method number 4: work on the appearance
Becoming attractive is one of the key ways to stop being a closed and shy person. After all, it is precisely uncertainty in one’s appearance that often causes a problem. But everything is in your hands. If you don't like yourself, start working on this issue. Sign up to the gym, visit the beautician, take care of your hair, put your wardrobe in order. It is much easier for a person who likes his reflection in the mirror to make contacts with others.
Method number 5: visualize success
How to stop being a closed person? Get rid of your fears. Surely every time you step into people, you draw eerie pictures in your mind: how someone criticized or laughed at you, how you stumbled during the report, how you stumbled at all ... But why tune in to negative? It’s better to lose in your head a positive scenario. This gives you confidence and allows you to behave more liberally.
Method number 6: accept your fears
An enclosed person is embarrassed not only by others, but also by himself. He considers isolation to be something of a vice. But this is just a trait of your character. Moreover, it is part of your personality. Of course, you should not cherish and cultivate this quality in yourself, but you should also not focus on eradicating it. Just accept your character, and you will not notice how you become a more relaxed and sociable person.
Method number 7: review the circle of friends
It happens that, when finding himself in a new place or in a new company, a person becomes open and confident. But, returning to his usual habitat, again hides in his cocoon. So, the problem is not in you, but in the environment. Or rather, in the people who surround you. If you are criticized all the time, belittled your dignity, ridiculed or suggest that you will not succeed, then it's time to reconsider your circle of friends. Do not let too close people who make you feel insecure.
7 steps to sociability
How to stop being closed? You need to do what you are most afraid of - to communicate a lot with others. Having overcome a number of steps, you will forget about shyness:
- Become friendly. Smile at people at a meeting, ask them about something, answer questions yourself.
- Tell about yourself. Share your experience, interesting information with interlocutors or give valuable advice. But do not chat without ceasing.
- Invite people. Home, in a cafe, in a movie - it doesn’t matter. And don’t worry if you get refused. What is important is the fact that you have overcome yourself.
- Enjoy the conversation. Do not think about the conditions under which it passes, the way others look at you. Just be content with the opportunity to speak out and get valuable information.
- Read people. Before you start a conversation, evaluate the mood of a person. If he is friendly and relaxed, you can safely speak. If he is tense and absent-minded, most likely he is not inclined to communicate.
- Find your social circle. Accept the fact that you cannot be liked by everyone, but you cannot like everyone. But in the process of communication, you will surely notice for yourself people with whom you are interested and easy.
- "Indulge" your isolation. Being sociable does not mean breaking oneself. If you like to spend time alone with yourself, be sure to allow yourself this.