Sometimes in married life comes a moment when a woman realizes that she wants to file for divorce. At this step, she can be prompted by many different reasons, for example, her husband’s betrayal or constant misunderstanding on his part. How to understand whether to divorce a husband or not? And if you still decided on such a step, then how to get a divorce quickly? The divorce process is a rather unpleasant procedure, which is often very delayed. In this article, you will learn all the nuances of whether to divorce your husband. The consequences are not always favorable, but not always terrible.
What are women afraid of?
Often, many women cannot decide to file for divorce because they are simply afraid. Usually they are stopped by the following reasons:
- Not every woman can decide and take full responsibility for minor children on her shoulders. And many simply do not want to feel guilty that they allegedly broke up their family and deprived their children of their father. It is because of this that a woman remains married and simply suffers.
- Relatives who do not even know what is happening in the family often take the side of her husband. And this starts to put a lot of pressure on the woman, because she has absolutely no support, which is fraught with doubts and remorse about her act.
- The financial issue is one of the main obstacles to divorce. This is especially true for those women who are completely dependent on their spouse. In this case, everything becomes even more complicated, but for some women, a job search will be a great opportunity for self-realization.
- Loneliness and fear, which provokes psychological discomfort. It is difficult for a woman to accept the idea that now she has a new status - “divorced woman”. This is extremely unpleasant for many.
Of course, there are other individual reasons why women prefer a terrible marriage to quiet solitude. However, there are situations when divorce is simply necessary. Otherwise, such a marriage is fraught with undermined health of the lady, both physical and psychological, but is it worth it?
So how do you know whether to divorce your husband or not? Let's look at some of the most compelling reasons that really say that divorce is simply necessary.
The presence of alcohol, drug addiction husband
This is really a good reason for divorce. After all, addicted people gradually become asocial, degrade and lose their ability to fulfill their family functions. Of course, a woman needs to think about how it feels for children to live with such a father. Is it right that a child is forced to see his dad in an inadequate condition daily? Indeed, often in this case, the children are simply afraid of their father, and this is reflected in their psyche. First of all, think about the health of your child!
Beats, then loves. Do you think so? If so, it means that you are very wrong. There is simply not a single valid reason on the planet for a spouse to hit a wife. Physical abuse cannot be tolerated! Many women think that their husband will change, and this will not happen again, but most likely, these thoughts are an illusion. The faster a woman files for divorce, the better it will be for her health and life.
Along with physical violence is moral. If the husband constantly insults, humiliates, ignores, then gradually the woman will simply become one continuous lump of diseases. With each mockery, the spouse simply destroys the self-esteem of his wife, gives rise to a bunch of inferiority complexes, and this is fraught with psychosomatic pathologies. If there is a child, then he, observing how the father behaves with his mother, can develop complexes in himself, and this is also fraught with problems with relationships in the future.
Is it worth it to ignore cheating? If this happened once and the husband really repents and regrets his act, then you can forgive. And if betrayal occurs openly and simultaneously goes with the complete ignore of his legal wife, then such disrespect cannot be tolerated!
Reluctance to provide for a family
Everyone can lose their jobs. Of course, this must be understood. But does one need to understand a person who is just too lazy to go to work and who can live comfortably on his wife’s salary? Does a woman need such a parasite?
Below are recommendations that apply only to those women who have not encountered really significant circumstances for divorce, given above.
How to decide on a divorce?
Psychologists can share one method designed to solve incomprehensible situations. Especially in circumstances where feelings say one thing and the mind is different. This practice was called "Cartesian questions", and they sound just like this:
- What will happen if we decide on this? (Answer).
- What will not happen if this is decided? Such a question is designed to establish "secondary benefits." It is thanks to the answer that you can find the advantages of this situation and the advantages that it is likely to lose.
- What will not happen if you do not decide on this? Such a question baffles the left hemisphere of the brain. However, if you try to find the answer, then a person can get rid of habitual conscious thinking and include other neural channels in the brain. You can look at this situation from the other side. Such a process will help to realize those values and internal forces that you did not know before. Therefore, in this case, you want to find the answer using intuition, but not logic.
- What will happen if not done? It emphasizes the cost you pay if you continue to continue to live as before. Or you will understand that the gap will be a step forward for you, an incentive that will change your life in a positive way.
Often, when thinking about whether to file for a divorce, a woman puts money in the first place. She has an insoluble dilemma - financial or emotional comfort.
There are a couple of options to resolve this situation. First, a woman takes responsibility for her existence, becomes independent and financially independent. That is, she preferred feelings and sincerity to money.
Another - a woman prefers finances and convenience, but for this she needs to adapt and endure, saving herself from a full emotional living. Is this torment worth it, because life is one, rather than it is necessary to live in suffering?
What is expected?
Already after a careful approach to previous problems and solutions, you will be able to discover with surprise that in order to eliminate the impeding conditions of your married life, as well as to achieve established goals, it is absolutely permissible to do without separation. This is due to the fact that the main part of the positive factors that a person is so focused on is already present in life, simply a woman does not see anything positive. Until you have decided to terminate the marriage with your spouse completely, there is a chance for a new start. Only for the start there is no need to radically change the partner. Just change your thoughts, your opinion about the situation. If you have achieved such an awareness, then hold on to the chance and change while you are still with your previous partner. Because with a new one you have to start all over again. And there is no guarantee that everything will turn out better with him.
Take into account the fact that the other person may not be found at all. Especially when the demands of the ladies are too high, and among the representatives of the stronger sex there are very few impeccable. Psychologists advise a little philosophical: lay out expectations and opportunities. It is also important to believe in yourself, no matter what awaits you in the future.
So, what should a woman expect when she decides to divorce her husband? Naturally, subconsciously, she expects only one thing - a happy ending:
- The husband is too scared, will become better, rethink, weigh and quickly begin to do what is expected of him.
- Woman gets rid of annoying spouse.
- He will instantly meet his love and be happy.
But let's return to reality and see how the following actions can disappoint a person in a monstrous way:
- The husband shows absolutely no reaction and continues to do as terribly as before.
- The partner reacts, but through the commission of inappropriate actions. They do not fit into the plan you created at all, and loneliness and other “benefits” that appear in connection with the breakup are even more annoying than past problems. So, a woman acquires a lot of doubts and wants to rewind time so that all this never happens at all.
- Fate turned out to be harsh and did not provide a chance for a prosperous life, or the opportunity was received, but corrupted by some unforeseen event.
Signs that divorce is near
The inevitable approach of a divorce couple feels intuitively. Often this is determined by many signs, which can be called a warning. There are a lot of cases when one of the spouses anticipated the approach of the gap, but did not have enough reason to somehow talk about what was happening. Do not rush to think about getting a divorce from your husband or not. Perhaps a heart-to-heart talk will fix the situation.
The first sign is limited communication between the couple. The partner suddenly becomes withdrawn, immersed in his personal experiences, he does not want to share his thoughts with the second half.
However, if the trouble is approaching indeed, then further development can be predicted. After immersion in himself, the man will be more “cold” with his wife:
- In the intimate life of a couple, everything is very sad.
- When a wife tries to somehow pay attention to her husband, to make him comfortable, he is indignant, annoyed and even notes of aggression are noticed in his behavior. This behavior is a bell that everything is really very bad. However, the husband may simply have problems at work or with health, which is also possible.
- Stopped consulting with his wife, decides everything himself.
- To the usual questions, where he was, how the day went and why he returned late, one answer is “my personal life does not concern you.”
Tips for divorcing your husband quickly
This question excites many. The main condition in order to expedite the divorce is mutual consent and agreement on all issues that usually appear in the process of divorce. Where to divorce your husband? You can be divorced in the registry office or in court.
When the divorce proceeds with the full consent of the couple, and they do not have common minor children, the marriage can be broken at the registry office. Submit a joint application to the branch at the place of residence or marriage registration, pay the state fee. If one of the couple cannot come to the registry office, then 2 applications will be issued, and consent to divorce the missing person must be notarized.
If the wife divorces her husband in the registry office, there is a month, the countdown of which will begin the next day after the application. Upon its completion, the couple will be given certificates of divorce.
But how to divorce her husband if there are minor children? In the case of young children, divorce is possible through the courts. To speed up the whole process will only help a mutual agreement about who the children will stay with, as well as about child support. All this must be executed in writing and notarized. How to divorce without a husband in this case? This is almost unrealistic and there must be good reasons for such a step.
Prepare the necessary documentation for a divorce: a statement of claim in 2 copies, as well as:
- marriage certificate;
- document on the birth (adoption) of children;
- the necessary papers from the couple's place of residence;
- certificates of income of spouses;
- the formal consent of the defendant to divorce;
- an agreement on the upbringing and material maintenance of children, the payment of alimony, the division of property;
- bank duty receipt.
To speed up the whole process, file a claim with all the attached papers at an individual appointment with the justice of the peace. Thus, a hearing on your process will be determined more quickly and reviewed in one meeting. To dissolve a marriage through a trial, a one-month period is determined from the date of filing the application, after which the judge must make a decision to terminate the union and forward it to the registry office within 3 days.
How can you get a divorce without the consent of your husband? Of course, this is real, but the procedure is quite lengthy. To complete the divorce process is quickly real only with the consent of both spouses. Otherwise, the judge can give a certain time for reconciliation up to several months. It is also possible to postpone meetings due to the non-appearance of the defendant, etc.
How to divorce a husband without children? It must be remembered that divorce is possible in a day. Usually the procedure is 1 month. Hire a good lawyer.
Is it possible, when a child is one year old, to divorce her husband? Of course, no one will forcefully marry a woman. For everything to go quickly, you need to hire a sensible lawyer, collect all the papers listed above and discuss the claims. The court gives the wife time to think about divorcing her husband or not.