There have been times in everyone's life when one wrong decision entailed terrible consequences. What if the situation is irreversible? Is forgiveness possible after treason?
Understand the reason for treason
No matter how much you want to blame yourself for treason, or vice versa, no matter how it seems that everyone but you is to blame - the first thing to do is figure out the reasons for this act.
Psychologists identify 7 reasons why girls can change:
- Alcohol. Drunken treason is one of the most harmless, but at the same time stupid betrayals. Girls, losing their heads from the amount of alcohol drunk, simply do not control their body and mind. In this case, the fault also lies with the person who took advantage of the position of the girl.
- Treason, revenge. With this kind of betrayal, the girl does not ask a question like "Changed the guy, what to do?" After all, this was her plan.
- Flirt. Contrary to popular belief that only men are polygamous in nature and addicted to flirting, women can also lose control of attention.
- Cheating. Many girls live at work, not seeing their loved ones day or night. It is unspent tenderness and love breaks out on a free and very pretty colleague.
- Dissatisfaction. When personal life falls apart, something happens completely different from what it was at the beginning, the girl finds solace in the wrong hands.
- Boredom. This reason is very similar to dissatisfaction. Missing past emotions, the girl tries to arrange them on the side.
- Love. Unfortunately, you never know if this is for sure this time.
Having determined the reason why the girl cheated on a guy, we can safely say how to proceed.
Having learned the reason why the girl cheated on a guy, her next step should be recognition. Often, girls try to hide this fact. It always translates into paranoia, nervous breakdowns, depression and other unpleasant things, from which the relationship with a half deteriorates at a rapid speed. In the end, the guy either guesses, or learns everything in a different way, and this has a sad outcome.
Do not forget that all people are different, and for someone to forgive betrayal will be a very difficult test, while others will listen and accept you.
Why not share this with your friends?
Do not discuss this with your friends. You never know what actions they will take.
“I cheated on a guy,” A. told her friends, “I’m really bad, what should I do?” Of course, A. hoped for support. But one of her friends silently left the cafe, the second said that A. has time before dinner to confess to her beloved in treason, otherwise she will tell everything herself. In the evening, A. returned home alone, the guy’s things were no longer in the apartment. And six months later, one of her friends updated her status on social networks that she is marrying her ex.
Therefore, if a girl cheated on a guy, she does not know what to do, psychologists strongly recommend not writing to her friends.
How to admit treason
The most effective way psychologists call recognition in a letter.
- Having identified the problem, formulate it in a letter to your loved one.
- Describe your condition, what you are experiencing.
- Be sure to include in the letter the two main words "forgive me."
- Write to your loved one how much you love him.
- Do not blame the guy for everything, start with the part in which only you are to blame.
- But you should not write only about your fault - this is your common problem.
- Write to him your desire to maintain a relationship.
Reread this letter, put it aside and try to reproduce all this personally, in a calm atmosphere. If you don’t get to say out loud about the betrayal or you are afraid of an inadequate reaction, leave this letter and give the man the opportunity to understand and accept everything that he reads.
Male and female infidelity, are there any differences?
Opinions on this subject are very different. Someone says that by nature all people are polygamous, someone is sure that this is all from a lack of education. Of course, we will never know the truth. However, it is worth noting that there are couples who, with mutual agreement, have other partners on the side.
A man really needs self-affirmation, and they find him in bed. Adult men are looking for young fans.
Women find self-affirmation in another. And under the guise of female infidelity, huge problems usually hide. This is probably why many people share male and female infidelity.
Another difference in accepting the fact of treason. If a woman feels a blow to her feelings, then a man - to self-esteem. Therefore, most often male adultery is forgiven, and female remains beyond the comprehension of men.
Tips for girls
If you feel some kind of discord, some wrong feelings for the other guy, or have ceased to receive proper attention from your other half, talk to him. The only thing that will 100% protect both sides from cheating, quarrels, troubles is conversations. It’s not necessary how to sit in a movie in the evening and discuss who is dissatisfied with something. If you can’t say, write. The most important thing is to convey a thought, but how is completely irrelevant.
Learn to say “forgive me”. This applies to people of any gender. If a quarrel has occurred, do not bring it to the end. It’s better to stop in time and say “I love you”. It is conflicts, cooled relations that lead to betrayal.
Tips for guys
The girl is remorseful, because she cheated on a guy. What should a man do in such a situation?
Try to take this information as calmly as possible. You have the right to be angry, upset, feel offended, and experience any other emotion. But everyone will feel better if you accept it as calmly as possible, because nothing can be changed.
If the girl was able to explain to you the reason for her act, try to understand whether there was a reason on your part. Do not blame yourself completely, but do not blame all the blame on the girl.
Unfortunately, there is no universal answer to the question of how to forgive the beloved one. But if you love each other, you should try to glue the broken cup.
If nothing comes out
"I cheated on a guy, what should I do?" - daily ask such a question young girls. Older women are asked this question about her husband. Men rarely think of cheating as something shameful. If your relationship came to a standstill after the betrayal, and even sessions of family psychotherapy did not help , perhaps your happiness was simply not here?
Of course, not everyone is given to glue happiness after betrayal. However, for so many years of psychologists studying the issue of betrayal, we can say for sure that there are chances, and rather big ones. Therefore, grabbing a bag and parting is the wrong way, albeit the easiest. If there is even a drop of love, tenderness and care for a guy in your heart, in your soul, then try to return your feelings and light them with renewed vigor. And this is not so difficult to do when the realization comes that was wrong in your life. Good luck