How to cope with aggression: forms and types of aggression, its external manifestations, internal tension, methods of controlling aggression and the advice of psychologists

Aggression is the actions of a person of a destructive nature, having any motivation and accompanied by causing damage to people, other living beings or oneself. Aggressive behavior is not accepted by the standards of society and is always dangerous to others.

According to Freud's concept, aggression should be considered as a natural and instinctive reaction of a person to stress caused by internal or external stimuli. How to deal with child aggression ? The reasons for the appearance and form of aggression. Read more about this and more.

What is aggression?

There are two types of aggression, from which it is worth starting from when studying this issue - it is destructive and benign. The first, under any circumstances, is always aimed at the destruction of anything, the second is a necessary life reaction in moments when something or someone is threatening life. This, for example, may be the aggression of the husband. How to cope with verbal aggression, if it belongs to any kind? For this, different methods are used.

how to cope with verbal aggression

There are more than a dozen types and forms of destructive aggression, all of them have different causes and origin, which is discussed in more detail below.


There are several forms of aggression:

  • Physical aggression. How to cope with seizures and why it manifests itself is the main thing that people who suffer from it need to know. Use of physical force with harm or attempts to do so. Such aggression does not go unnoticed, it is expressed by tremors, blows, rape, torture. There are three types: aggression directed inward, to others or to objects around. The first type is characterized by masochistic actions: pulling out hair, cuts, bites, burns, tweaks, bumps on the wall. This may include childhood aggression. How to deal with it? First of all, we advise you to review the upbringing of the child. Maybe somewhere you have to be tougher with him, and somewhere more affectionate? The second type is especially dangerous for victims of aggression, as they can be subjected to severe beatings and torture. The last manifestation of aggression is aimed at breaking furniture, breaking glass, vandalism, loud slamming of doors and destroying one's own things and valuable objects.
how to deal with husband’s aggression
  • Verbal aggression. It manifests itself in destructive speech, which includes both informative speech (curses, insults), and inarticulate (screaming and screaming). Distributed more than the physical, and is found everywhere. Verbal aggression has become accepted as the norm on the Internet, where anyone can criticize unreasonably. This also includes gossip, slander, malicious jokes, a rude tone of conversation.
  • Passive aggression. It is expressed in the refusal to speak (silent blackmail), unreasonable disagreement and opposition (in spite of everything).
how to deal with attacks of aggression
  • Direct aggression. Any harm is done directly to the victim.
  • Indirect aggression. The aggressor does not act directly, but takes the victim through relatives, mutual friends or colleagues. Or, in order to harm the victim, he targets his relatives, valuable property, position.


Classification into species implies two defining criteria: how the aggressor manifests himself in relation to the victim, and how the victim responds to attacks.

  • Offensive aggression. It is provoked only by the aggressor. In a situation of attack, the victim is not to blame.
  • Defensive aggression. Allows you to protect yourself from outside violence. A model of protective behavior that excludes another reaction to a life-threatening situation.
  • Retaliatory aggression. Destructive action is performed as a response to the offender. This refers to revenge with damage.
  • Provoked aggression. The answer is violence to violence. Someone else encourages the aggressor to enter into conflict.
  • Unmotivated aggression. The victim is not responsible for the actions of the aggressor and does not provoke a conflict.
  • Motive aggression. The aggressor motivates the victim to commit violent acts or other aggressive manifestations. It can serve as an unhealthy form of manifestation of motivation from the outside.
  • Sanctioned aggression. It is an action dictated by the norms, and does not go beyond the accepted. To police disperse a rally or tie up a criminal often have to use force.

External manifestations of aggression

Aggression is not always primitive and can be instantly exposed. If this is not a fist or inappropriate behavior, then only a psychologist can immediately understand the situation. In addition, many people do not have the courage to take a position actively, preferring passive aggression.

how to cope with child aggression

To protect yourself from the consequences of hidden forms of aggression, it is important to know how it manifests. At the same time, the attacks have acquired such an “everyday face” that some of the victims take them for a bad character, mood or life credo, and someone even thinks that he is to blame.

Aggressive behavior little by little, but every day upsets the balance of mental strength, both the aggressor and the victim. Therefore, it is extremely important to notice this and cleanse your life from negativity.

Passive aggression

There are three types of passive aggression, and each one has its own manifestations. The classification was first voiced by Sam Waknin, an Israeli writer and psychologist.

Gazlighting. Most often, one of the relatives or friends becomes the aggressors. They convince them that they are not villains, and that something is really wrong with the victim. But they attribute the disorder to fatigue, problems at work, weather dependence, and even suggest the presence of mental instability. To any suspicion of the victim is an explanation that makes the aggressor invulnerable.

Here, aggression manifests itself in attempts to maintain control over the victim with minor manipulations. Or create the feeling that the victim will not be able to do without the help and instructions of the aggressor. The latter is trying to do everything so that the victim sees in his eyes his salvation. As a result, the aggressor can undermine the victim’s self-esteem and self-esteem.

In addition to the above, the victim may experience discomfort when communicating with the aggressor and sincerely do not understand why, because he is such a wonderful person.

Retention. This aggression is manifested in the control over what the victim says, how she reacts to certain situations and others. In this case, the aggressor either boycotts any emotional and intellectual manifestations of the victim, or makes fun of them with such harmless and mundane phrases like: “Are you capable of this?”, “Don't talk about what you don't know”, “Only idiots can laugh at this " etc.

how to deal with internal aggression

The result of retention is the isolation of the victim and the fear of self-expression in any way.

Cancellation. The aggressor denies the significance of another person, he denies any help and shoves all the duties on the victim.

Moreover, the aggressor violates the agreement, sometimes does not see the need for obvious spending. For example, a husband in custody has a wife with a small child, but he does not want to give money for doctor's appointments, diapers and powder. He does not consider these needs to be important.

Internal voltage

Aggression painfully destroys the life of not only the victim, but also the attacker himself. Acts of aggression are associated with inability to cope with stressful situations adequately. Overwhelming emotions, anger, indignation and anger - this is what overwhelms the aggressor from the inside and spontaneously breaks out.

The emergence of internal aggression depends on the education of a person, psycho-emotional mobility, the environment and social adaptation. How to cope with internal aggression? First of all, you need to understand yourself. If this is difficult to do, then seek help from a psychologist.


Among the causes of aggressiveness are:

  • Side effects from taking psychotropic substances.
  • Pathology of the brain and endocrine system.
  • Psychological disorders such as depression, trauma, phobias.
  • Social problems.
  • Unconscious behavior and inability to work out emotions.

Methods of dealing with aggression

So that suffering does not overwhelm the soul and does not spill over into acts of violence, psychologists advise working out your inner world well and harmonizing the environment as much as possible.

soothing tea

The main thing is the realization of one's own aggression. If the aggressor does not see a problem in destructive behavior, then he has nothing to correct. Next is the study of emotions, during which it is necessary to understand your sources of irritation and eliminate them. In complicated cases, it is better to go to a psychologist.

It is vital to learn how to forward aggression in a constructive way. For example, find an outlet in drawing, meditation, or playing musical instruments. In moments of unbearable stress, the loud scream perfectly discharges.

Being alone a couple of times a week is just as important. As well as to establish constructive relations with the world. These are good points for understanding your goals, analyzing results and mistakes, which contributes to greater awareness.

Relax as a way to fight

The foam bath, burning candles, massage and slow, calm music helps to relieve stress. Spending a day at the SPA to leave and wash away all the negative and enjoy every minute is a great solution.

aggression on a child how to cope and reasons

Additional measures may include taking light sedatives and walking before bedtime. As a natural alternative, chamomile, mint and thyme teas are suitable.

Internal aggression is inevitable, because it is not always possible to avoid stressful situations. But everything can be done so that this becomes a temporary phenomenon, and not a problem.


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