Jokes about manicure from nail masters

Each profession has its own subtleties. Slang of professionals is incomprehensible to the layman, and part of professional jokes is built on this. The service industry is special jokes: those who deal with people become psychologists and philosophers. And customers, in turn, joke with the masters. Take, for example, jokes about manicure.

Jokes are divided into three categories: the humor of the masters, the humor of the masters and the humor of the clients.

Comedy Masters

For a long time working in the salon, every manicurist has accumulated a lot of funny cases. But there is something in common that unites them: the pre-holiday price list for services. It requires clarification. The fact is that a good master is recorded in advance. And before the big holidays (New Year, March 8, September 1) it is better to do this in a month. But there are naive clients who come without an appointment and ask to find time for them. On this occasion, the masters composed a playful price list (in rubles).

1. Stand above the soul - 450.
2. Cry in a vest - 500.
3. Give advice to the master - 550.
4. Help the master - 300 rubles / minute.
5. The choice of design for more than 10 minutes - 100 rubles / minute.
6. Bargaining - 1000.
7. Question about the cost of materials - 800.
8. Pronouncing the phrase: “What's so expensive?” - 2000.
9. Pronunciation of the phrase: “And for how long?” - 2000.
10. Do it yourself - 5000 (nothing personal, renting an office, the cost of materials and compensation for the time spent and the nerves of the master).
11. Parish with a company (a company means a girlfriend, husband, children, animals) - 10,000.
12. Parish with beer (vodka, champagne, moonshine) and a cry: "Happy New Year!" - 15000.
13. Tardiness - 100 rubles per minute.

During study, masters buy training fingers, hands, tips. This is necessary for practicing the calculation of the material. Then these objects can be seen in the most unexpected places: the finger is used as a hook for tips, mysteriously protruding from the wall. A hand with a beautiful manicure looks out of the box under the table. Children of customers remain very unhappy.

How to become a “favorite” client

Each master has problematic clients. The following memo was invented for them:

1. To begin with, ask about slag (glac) and helium manicure.
2. Continue the conversation in style: “Dap-dap? Why so long? What is there to do? ”
3. Sign up for an early morning, do not come by appointment and call back in half an hour. Reschedule the visit for the master’s lunch time, repeat the manipulation and reschedule the visit for the evening. And then everything is simple - do not pick up the phone.
4. Come intoxicated.
5. Come sick. Report the disease when calculating with the master ("You sterilize it well after me, I have hepatitis A").
6. Put the phone on the table and use it with your free hand.
7. Leave the phone in your purse, and when it rings, ask the master to get it and bring it to your ear.
8. Remove gel polish in popular ways and spread information about its harm.

Among the jokes about manicure there is a funny comic strip as a husband scolds his wife for extended nails. She plunges her fingers into his hair and - pebble-peb-do massage, asking: "What did you say, dear?" And he, mumbling from the massage, replies: "For God's sake, don’t stop."

Jokes about the master of manicure

Often, work takes longer than expected. The first to react are children left at home. They start to ring. The second does not stand the husband - he comes. Since there is not enough room in his office, he is offered to sit in a pedicure chair. Calling him gynecological, he stands at the door. On this occasion, the song “I brought my wife to a manicure” and pictures with a skeleton waiting at the door of a manicure office were composed.

Masters themselves do not share this criticism. They are witty: “To rush a manicurist is like trying to speed up the loading of a computer. There are many operations hidden from your understanding.”

From the nail master you can hear sayings:

• It was, but swam, because without a top.
• You cannot spoil a hole with a French jacket.
• You will work hard, you will receive the Order of Hunchback.
• Small strass Swarovski, but dear.
• Friendship is friendship, but you always want to eat.

The client calls the master and asks to go to his house. The master decides in his mind what he will have to take: a UV lamp and an LED lamp, a table lamp, a pair of extension cords, a disinfectant and liquid for it, a sterilizer or dry heat, an apparatus and cutters, a bag with files, napkins and auxiliary liquids, a box of gels, acrylic and monomer , a box of gel polishes and a box of ordinary varnishes ... And he answers: "Yes, of course. Now I’ll call the truck."

The work of a nail master needs serious knowledge about polymer chemistry. Therefore, he looks like Hermione, who mixes drugs to get a potion.

And here is how they respond about their work:

Every true nail master is a philosopher and artist. Sometimes a psychologist. But always with love for people and for their work.