From an early age, we learn to communicate with people around us. In childhood, it seems that you can equally freely communicate with representatives of both your own and the opposite sex. But growing up provokes ever new difficulties in communication. How to communicate with a person in order to win over him, evoke only positive emotions and not make enemies?
The great secret of communication
Many books and recommendations have been written on conducting conversations with people around. A lot of trainings and webinars are organized on this topic, but there is always something to add, because there are no absolutely identical people. All of us are somewhat similar, but different in essence. Full harmonious communication implies a sincere interest in each other. Surely you find yourself in a situation where you say something, and they listen to you with dull eyes and poorly concealed boredom. Itâs not that you are a bad storyteller, but that you havenât made contact with the person you are talking to, but that youâve been egoistic in your conversation without being interested in the person youâre talking to. It seems that people know how to communicate correctly, but words are pronounced without a soul. Here's how to communicate with people properly - listen to them and hear, which is quite difficult for most. Moreover, sometimes people who do not study this science, as they speak from the heart, and donât think about how to correctly construct the phrase, conduct the best conversation.
Talk on your favorite topic.
Each of us has our own âtrickâ - that favorite topic that you can talk for hours on end. For some itâs a movie, for someone itâs shopping, music or sports. But there is a secret in how to file yourself. Talk with heart and interest, involve other people in the conversation so that they do not stay away, adhere to the technique of active listening, give the interlocutor time to speak out.
If itâs interesting to talk with you, then you know how to communicate with people, and you can attract them.
We start the conversation correctly
If you are seriously counting on a positive outcome of the contact, you should understand that it begins even before the verbal stage. Many people donât even think about it, but when we meet, we begin to evaluate a person, notice his style, taste, facial expression and eyes. Gestures will also be âtalking,â since this is already non-verbal communication, during which important information has already been read from the object. The main criterion showing how to communicate with a person correctly is the comfort of the parties to the contact. Therefore, there is no need to "pull the blanket over yourself" if you really want to chat or even make friends with this person. Place the interlocutor to yourself, avoid closed poses. Control yourself and remember that at first it will be very difficult. The hands themselves will be folded into a defensive position âcrosswiseâ, since a person is unfamiliar to you, dangerous in his own way and causes distrust.
Purely psychologically, the atmosphere is discharged by gestures, look into the eyes, smile with eyes. Point the toes of your shoes towards the other person and do not cross your legs. Thus, you stimulate the partner to have a confidential communication and mutual disposition. When we start a conversation, a lot of thoughts swarm in our heads, original and not very, designed to defuse the situation. And, of course, we are planning a dialogue from two sides, that is, thinking out replicas of the interlocutor. And if suddenly he reacts differently than we expected, then you can get confused and lose the thread of the conversation. Give your interlocutor freedom, give them the right to choose, and donât think about the dialogue in advance. In the end, even the most important official meeting can follow an unexpected scenario.
If suddenly a hitch occurs during communication, an awkward pause hangs, then smooth it with a smile, express your sympathy to the person who you like. The sincerity of your smile will cause a reciprocal smile, which will give a new opportunity to start a conversation. Many say that a smile should come from the heart, and this is mainly true, but sometimes you need to smile regardless of mood. And, as psychologists say, after five seconds, an artificial smile degenerates into a real one. If you suddenly didnât smile at you, then donât be upset, because nothing bad will happen, and your mood will improve a little. Just remember that everyone cannot like us, just like all people cannot like us.
The nuances of a fruitful dialogue
There is such a science - rhetoric, which brings mass truths to the masses. For example, thanks to her, we learn that the edge effect becomes the main thing in our communication, that is, we best remember the beginning and end of the conversation. It is also scientifically proven that any conversation should not take place according to a pre-written script, otherwise it turns out not a conversation, but a speech rehearsed and straightened out.
If you know how to communicate with a person correctly, then you are not afraid to move away from the main idea of ââthe dialogue, dilute your words with jokes, smiles and even jokes. But distinguish between areas of communication and remember that you should not switch to familiarities, especially if you are familiar recently.
Errors in dating
The most stressful situation in communication is the first date. Moreover, regardless of whether the guy or girl becomes its initiator. How to communicate with a guy to demonstrate their intelligence, sophistication and comprehensive development? Ideally, you need to know who you are going to meet. If a guy is educated and well-read, then you can try to find common interests, mark everything and draw conclusions.
Do not pretend to be who you are not. Remember that if the first date is followed by the second, then pretending to be more difficult. Think about how to communicate with a guy so as not to push him away. As a rule, no one likes girls cheeky, overly talkative and addicted to addictions. So if you have bad habits, then try to refrain from them or at least minimize them on your first date.
We are talking with a man
If the first date with a young man can be timid and even tender, then in the situation when the interlocutor is a mature man, the conversation goes to a different level. Adults have experience of communication, baggage of memories, their own interests, which they strive to share with the interlocutor. How to communicate with a man correctly? Do not overcharge yourself - adult men immediately notice such a technique and are sincerely indignant at the same time. So you can take a sharp step back in the relationship.
Do not try to make ambiguous remarks in a conversation - it only depreciates you. Donât joke about gloomy topics and donât ulcerate to demonstrate your wit. If you are still not sure that you know how to communicate with a man correctly, then do not try to please yourself, do not give compliments if you are insincere. Bluffing is immediately visible. Avoid outright flirting and those that will be painful for a man. Such topics may include sports, cars, technology and computers. Show a little caution, and then you will definitely understand how to communicate with a person.
Alarm Beacons
When you are having a conversation, pay attention to the partnerâs reaction. Maybe he answers reluctantly? Does not take the initiative in the conversation or speak negatively about some points of the topic? Most likely, the topic itself is unpleasant or not close to him. Do not impose it. Gently turn the conversation to the neutral side and let me set the tone for your interlocutor. Such courtesy will not be deliberate and will be perceived very positively. To talk to a person, ask clarifying questions that demonstrate your interest in the topic. If you know little about a person, then you should not boldly rush into the unknown and touch on a topic in which you are not strong. This will not give you extra advantages, especially if you want to impress your interlocutor.
With friends
If you are thinking about how to communicate with people correctly, then it is possible that you have problems on this basis. Moreover, most often these problems are invisible to the person himself. Rarely can anyone be critical of themselves, notice shortcomings and engage in self-improvement. At heart, we are all confident in our ideality and do not understand why we have few friends, no deals are made at work, and oncoming people consider it possible to be rude. All this comes from the inability to communicate, which is the fault of the lack of practice.
Think about how to communicate with a friend and what is your drawback. Maybe you should learn to listen to the interlocutor, be interested in his problems and come to the rescue in difficult moments? Do not be afraid to admit your mistakes, then you will learn how to communicate with friends.
At a business meeting
At the end of the article I want to talk about working contacts. If you manage to establish a conversation and learn how to communicate with customers correctly, you can develop professionally. Try not to use foreign words, slang and jargon in your conversation. If your interlocutor is male, then remember that he is not inclined to perceive immediately a large amount of information. Dose the information.
Men perfectly perceive information on correspondence, contrary to all stereotypes they like to talk and appreciate good listeners.