No one is safe from a situation like cheating on her husband. How to survive this dramatic event in life? How to find the strength to let go of this problem and start living anew? In this article we will look at the popular advice of psychologists that will definitely help to remain the winner in this difficult moral battle. These tips are ideal not only for women, but also for men who find themselves in a similar situation.
Step 1. Understand Yourself
Betrayal is the hardest to forgive. A huge thick wall appears between the husband and wife, which, with its massive bricks, destroyed confidence. But it’s much harder to get rid of the pain that appeared either from disappointment, or from the affected self-esteem and selfishness, or from misunderstanding how this could even happen.
But this situation has already overtaken you, and now you will have to bear a heavy load along with the betrayal of your husband all your life. How to survive and let it go, is it possible to forgive a person after a betrayal and again trust him? Psychologists advise first of all to understand yourself, how much and how much your husband’s unjustified act hurt you. If you are ready to forgive him, but this takes time, it is important to prepare for new mental suffering, because the path will not be easy. But if you can never be near such a person again, then you need to learn to live on without locking yourself and not allowing the situation to swallow you like a black hole.
Step 2. Realize that the world has not collapsed
And this happened - you caught him on the other, found correspondence with photographs or achieved recognition in treason through tears and reproaches. But look around: the walls still stand still, there are no cracks on the earth, and the sky with the sun is still above your head. This is cruel, but you are not the first and not the last woman on the planet that a loved one betrayed. However, now you have two ways: to suffer and kill your psyche or to pull yourself together, proudly raise your head and realize that life goes on.
So how to survive a husband’s betrayal? Psychologist’s advice says that you need to learn how to take control of both the problem and the emotions, while not succumbing to provocations from the outside world. If you read this article, then you are ready to fight to get rid of the aching feeling in your chest.
Step 3. Do not look for the guilty
Many girls wonder: "How to survive adultery and separation from her husband?" It is very important to stop living in the past. No need to blame your husband for betraying you. You should not reproach that woman who for some reason agreed with your beloved. And of course, in no case can you look for flaws in yourself.
The reasons why husbands cheat are different. This is a lack of love, warmth and respect in the family; these are changes in the wife, such as ignoring self-care, lack of intimate life, the presence of constant conflicts; this is a random connection that occurred due to the fault of the man himself due to his weakness or weak character. In all these situations, it is important to simply accept that the betrayal has already been committed and this cannot be fixed. To learn how to survive a husband’s betrayal, according to the advice of psychologists, you just need to leave this in the past and start working on your psychological state so that it does not destroy your future.
Step 4. Do not give up
Of course, when there comes a turning point in life, you want to close yourself in an empty apartment, turn off the phone and reproach unknown forces for the kind of pain you experience. But in this situation, you can’t lose your temper - this is the most important point to learn how to survive and forgive the husband’s betrayal.
No matter how much you want, but you can’t lock yourself in. If you give slack, allow yourself to be sad and discouraged for at least a second, then your internal system begins to break. It is most difficult to recover from a protracted depression, but if you are mentally stronger, then this situation will bypass you, leaving only an unpleasant aftertaste and longing.
Do you want to be alone - please. Everyone has the right to loneliness in order to think everything over properly. But in no case do not refuse the help of friends and relatives, from walks and work. If you want to spend time on the couch, and not in a coffee shop with a colleague, it is not forbidden. However, control yourself and your attitude to the world, especially if you feel that home comfort, life and work begin to absorb you, making you a hermit.
Step 5. Woman like hot cakes
How to get rid of pain? How to survive a husband’s betrayal? The best medicine is going out. Just imagine: more than 7 billion people live on our planet, where everyone has his own temperament, character and interests. And more than half of the population faced betrayal, and not always at the most pleasant and suitable moments.
Having come out, you will learn that there are so many people in the world who are ready to understand and accept you, to support and change your life for the better:
- First, do not be afraid to make new friends. Not necessarily each of them should lead to a romantic ending. New faces and new stories are always needed. They will help you get distracted.
- Secondly, attend social events such as concerts, poetry evenings to be at the epicenter of events. You will always have an incentive to take care of yourself, take care of your appearance, speech and knowledge. Surrounding yourself with attention, you will begin to notice how the nagging anguish gradually develops into indifference.
Step 6. Do Not Spite
The stories of women who survived her husband’s betrayal prove that for many years the fair sex has been unable to forgive a loved one for his act. Not because they could not cope with an unpleasant feeling in the soul. The reason is hatred and the desire to take revenge (if not physically, then morally) for this man.
In such a situation, all the actions of a woman are aimed at showing what kind of life partner he lost. For the sake of revenge and a sense of superiority, the girls are ready to go to the gym, change their hair, attend language courses, find more prestigious jobs, surround themselves with faithful people, meet beautiful men or simply demonstrate their small and insignificant successes, but anguish, anger and aggression are still remain. What is the reason and how to survive the husband’s betrayal, even if enough time has passed to calm down?
The reason is that a woman, doing various things and watching the reaction of her ex, simply forgets that she performs all actions only for herself, and not for the sake of someone else. In most cases, men simply do not see these changes, and if they do, they simply rejoice for the successes of their spouses. And only in rare cases, they will realize that once upon a time they caused serious harm, caused psychological trauma and undermined the trust of their woman.
Step 7. Discover a new world.
If you do not know how to survive a husband’s betrayal and divorce, then this advice will definitely help you:
- Stand up, take a deep breath, and then look around you. Do you see that the world is full of secrets, mysteries and opportunities? And if you will allow it, he will plunge you into an incredible abyss of new events and acquaintances, where you can be what you want.
To understand how rich and diverse our life is, you need to get out of your comfort zone. So how to survive a husband’s betrayal? Tip: Change your hated work, delete the contact numbers of unnecessary people, and stop providing assistance to those you care about. Take care of those things that had been dreamed of since early childhood, but could not be embodied in a married life.
Neither age restrictions nor the judgmental gaze of friends and relatives should stop you. Everyone just expects that after the betrayal of her husband and divorce, a woman should wear a funeral dress and sigh languidly for the rest of her life, looking out the window. Read books, watch movies, listen to music, save money, buy junk food, go on a diet and start running at five in the morning, get a dog or raccoon, write a story, sing karaoke - remember that you are surrounded by an unknown world full of magic, kindness , riddles and opportunities.
Step 8. Return everything to square one
These helpful tips will help those who want to learn how to survive a husband’s betrayal and save a family:
- If for some reason, whether you’re children, old parents, habit, love or common property, cannot be divorced, you need to accept one truth: before you discovered a terrible secret, you lived with your spouse together under one roof and They didn’t think about how to deal with the aching feeling in the chest in the future.
- If you still decide to be together, accepting the apologies and repentance of your husband, then you need to decisively get rid of obsessive thoughts. Confidence was undermined, and it will be very difficult to return it, but if a woman does not participate in it, then such an attitude will sooner or later lead to divorce. The point is to stop monitoring your partner again, to control every step, and at any, even the slightest quarrel, reproach of the deed. Then you will begin to morally mock the spouse, who already realized his mistake. Take it as a rule: forgive, forget and never remember. If you are not ready to do this, then pause the relationship and take a break.
- Understand why your man did this. Sometimes it is not always behind treason that there is only a need for polygamy, lust and lust. There are cases, and very often, when a woman herself stops letting her spouse in, in every way ignoring him, humiliating and insulting. And men are also people who are no different from the fair sex. They feel pain, experience fear, conceal resentment and need a fragile but gentle female shoulder.
Step 9. Nobody owes anything to anyone!
The main mistake of mankind: to believe that a guy (girl) and husband (wife) go into personal use immediately after meeting. A wedding is not an agreement that your partner becomes a lifelong slave who cannot look at other people, leave home, do what he loves, or have personal space.
Of course, treason is a betrayal that hurts and undermines trust. However, it is important to understand that the act of your husband lies on his shoulders, as well as the right to make a mistake, to realize his guilt or to change his life.
Step 10. No Place for Principles
When the girls wonder how to survive the husband’s betrayal, they begin to commit rash acts. One of these is the preservation of relations for the sake of principles, of which there are many:
- "Children without a father should not be." Sooner or later, your little ones will grow up and face harsh reality. No one is safe from this, therefore, to endure pain and resentment, creating the illusion of a strong and loving family, is stupid. Children are especially sensitive to change, although they cannot explain why the situation is always tense at home. If you don’t know how to tell your kids about divorce, then visit a psychologist who will select the right words. But a woman should always remember one thing - you can not make yourself a victim, and a husband an enemy who deceived and dishonored their mother.
- "I will live with my husband so that his mistress does not receive him." In this war, you will destroy life not only for yourself, but also for your partner. Agree that for the sake of victory you will have to sacrifice your moral condition, every day hating the man who betrayed you.
Step 11. Do not rush into the arms of the first comer
So how to survive a husband’s betrayal? Psychologists advise avoiding sexual contact immediately after separation and divorce. In most cases, the girl tries to find a replacement for her husband, demonstrating that she is not alone and someone else needs. However, from the outside it looks completely different.
A casual partner is nothing more than a desire for revenge. And after a rash of intimacy, a woman begins to reproach and hate herself even more. It is important to remember that you can not take revenge on the same coin.
To summarize
You can survive the husband’s infidelity , for a rather short period. No matter how painful and offensive, always remain a wise and judicious woman. Watch your every action and do not give vent to emotions, so that later you can come to a reasonable decision - to forgive or let go forever.