It's always scary when you are betrayed. It seems that the world around is collapsing, I do not want to believe in it, I do not want to live. But you have to live. And you also have to believe. And to decide something further.
Avoid mistakes
So, as soon as you find out that there was a betrayal of his wife, you need to leave immediately. Whatever you want to take, this first action is likely to be wrong. In the heat of all you can do anything, and it is hardly worth adding more problems to everything that happened. It is best to step aside from the situation and cool down. It is desirable that a close person be nearby - it is very difficult to remain alone now. The first thing that is traditionally resorted to most often after the betrayal of the wife is alcohol. Of course, it’s difficult to stay in this situation, but still it’s better to do just that. Being in an inadequate state, you can again do troubles, in our situation undesirable. In addition, alcohol in large quantities does not allow an adequate decision to be made, and in this case, few are limited to small ones, so it is better not to use it at all.
Do not deny yourself anything
In order to quickly calm the state of mind, you need to do something that would completely entice you and generally not deny yourself anything, except, of course, stupid things. You can acquire everything that you wanted before, or even that which you did not want and do not know how to use it - new knowledge and skills are only welcome. Changing the image will not hurt - it very strongly affects the emotional state. At your service any madness.
Think it over
When you are able, you need to carefully analyze the situation as much as possible. Does it make sense to break up? If you have little ties together, then most likely it makes no sense to stay together. But this happens very rarely: as a rule, people live in marriage for a long time, they have children, and then everything must be weighed. Indeed, for all these years you have become very close people, and she is now experiencing no less than you, that's for sure. In addition, in family relationships it does not happen that someone alone was to blame: the betrayal of the wife must have happened for a reason, something else led to this. Perhaps she was expecting something from you that you were not in a hurry to give her, did not understand on time, or did not pay attention, but someone just took and took advantage of the situation? In the end, the betrayal of his wife is a terrible, serious, but a mistake, and which of us does not commit them?
Decide
Maybe it makes sense to forgive treason? There is an erroneous opinion that men should not be forgiven for unfaithfulness to their spouses, that this is the lot of the weak. Just the destiny of the weak is to run away from problems, and the ability to forgive is the quality of strong and solid natures. Of course, this is not so simple to do, because men cheating on a wife is much more difficult and painful, especially by those who do not show their feelings externally. Such people should find some way out of emotions, here active types of recreation are perfect, up to extreme sports. You can also temporarily go to another city or abroad, get a lot of impressions and feel almost normal. At such moments, calmly, without negativity, you need to remember your life together, all the best that connected you, but you still do not need to call and generally get in touch, because you still need to let her feel that she has done, that she is losing so that this does not happen again.
Take a step towards
When you feel that you are ready to forgive the betrayal, and this may take several months, you need to return gradually. First, you just need to meet and talk in a neutral territory, for example, in a cafe, in order to understand for sure whether you can do it or not, and then the situation itself will show. In addition, a gradual return will only benefit renewed relationships.