In life there are many different situations for which people are often not ready. Unfortunately, more often this is due precisely to unpleasant events, dumbfound by their suddenness and surprise. This category also includes situations related to such a phenomenon as treason. The betrayal that took a person by surprise, in addition to inflicting severe moral damage, makes him face the most difficult dilemma: to forgive betrayal and live on, as if nothing had happened, or to break off relations.
Why do spouses cheat
Why do people cheat on each other? The actual commission of betrayal in relation to the spouse, loved one, his chosen one through life can occur due to some possible models of the circumstances.
- An accidental relationship on the side, which took place due to a combination of events having an adultery based on a sudden instinct, an impulse of passion, a state of intoxication that changes or his state of deep gloom, under the influence of which he succumbed to weakness and committed an act of betrayal.
- Falling in love with another person - this situation is much more dangerous than the previous one, because it has a deeper subtext of the committed betrayal and rooted its existence by regular campaigns of side trips.
- Dissatisfaction with your partner and your own life - the accumulation of small and large life troubles, taking their roots from family life and disgusting life, provokes finding an outlet in the arms of another person who is not related to the daily boring routine of his being.
With a sudden clouding of the mind or the emergence of a new hobby in the life of a traitor who changed his life partner, in principle, everything is clear. But why do people cheat on each other after many years of living together, having lived so many wonderful common moments and promising each other before the altar to be faithful and faithful in their feelings to the very end?
Common causes of human betrayal
The feeling of dissatisfaction and disappointment in one’s beloved person comes to the changing side due to the accumulation of a certain number of preconditions for the adultery act. The reasons for this may be the following points, causing mutual dissatisfaction of the spouses:
- Absence or restrictions in intimacy - when sexual relations between two people loving each other cease, this testifies first of all to the extinct passion between them; But passion must be constantly nourished with new energy, new emotions, new sensations and experiments in bed.
- The coolness in the relationship - not only physical, but also spiritual intimacy supports the marriage bond with its warmth, tenderness, manifestation of sincere feelings and care; if this is no longer there, then feelings may not remain at all over time.
- The neglect of a woman to her appearance - in the process of marriage and in the daily bustle of the fair, women often forget about the importance of how they look and in what form they meet husbands from work every day; but men still love with their eyes, they still want to look at a beautiful, well-groomed, attractive woman in the face of their wife.
- The husband’s inaction, lying on the couch and the “beer belly” - women often get tired of bumbled, lazy and unapproved men, they are bored with looking at the constant idleness of their husbands with their neglect of family values, as a result of which the ladies begin to look for more confident men on side, not at home.
Is it worth forgiving treason
How many people - so many characters. How many personalities - so many opinions. Each in its own way reacts to an event. So in the case of betrayal: many differently perceive the fact of the infidelity of their loved one. But is it worth forgiving treason? And is there at all forgiveness in the chain of events?
Whether it is necessary to forgive is a rhetorical question. Here it is necessary to proceed from the nature of perfect betrayal, its causes and permanence, and also draw conclusions based on the degree of remorse of the person who changed. If what happened was a passing hobby and, in essence, was an accidental outburst, which the betrayer sincerely regrets, you can think about a merciful indulgence for a beloved person tormenting himself with torment of conscience. But if the character of betrayal has a permanent basis, if it is not a one-time adultery action, and if the participant does not feel any special remorse, the answer is obvious.
Cheating on spouse
How to forgive a husband for treason? Surprisingly, men and women change in different ways, with different motives and different reasons. And most men believe that cheating on their part is a normal occurrence, because “the same borsch is bored” and so on. They equate their betrayal with a passing flash of passion for a “one-time” lover and, in principle, the next day they forget about her, invariably returning to his wife. Therefore, it makes sense to think about how to forgive a husband’s betrayal if he did it on an instinctive, purely physiological level, without planning to repeat it with the same girl again.
Cheating on spouse
This is not the case with women. How to forgive a wife's betrayal? Among the female representatives, strangely enough, in the case of betrayal, two aggravating circumstances immediately emerge. The first is the fact that the changing man is a male, and the changing woman is confused, and there is no excuse for her related to physiological need, as this often acts as an excuse in the case of a man's betrayal. The second and most offensive for the spouse is the realization that a woman does not cheat with her body, she surrenders to another soul. That is, in most cases, female adultery is based not only on sex drive for a lover, but also on a sincere attachment to him and nascent real emotional feelings. And such a betrayal - it is much more dangerous than the usual one-time communication on the side. Therefore, the question of how to forgive a wife's betrayal is somewhat more difficult to answer.
Is it possible to forgive betrayal?
At the moment of knowing the truth, the loyal side falls first into a state of shock, then into a hysterical one, then into an aggressive panic and eventually comes to a feeling of severe frustration and deep despair. How to forgive treason? How to live with it further? How to look in the eyes of a loved one without hatred? Each object of betrayal is asked by these questions, and yet, over time, it often comes to the conclusion that love is stronger. Aggression passes, the wounds heal, the apologies of the traitor with a healing balm lie on a spoiled soul. A loving person can never let go, because the meaning of life without the second half is lost.
Is it possible to forget the betrayal?
How to forgive betrayal - the puzzle is not easy. She can only be able to truly love. But it is much more difficult to find the answer to the question of how to forget this betrayal. Forgiven, but not forgotten, it will daily emerge in the memory of the offended party and torment it with constant representations of an act of infidelity. It is quite difficult to cope with the problem on your own and it is better to turn to a specialist for help.
How to Forgive Infidelity: Psychologist's Advice
Professionals recommend taking a course of moral rehabilitation by submitting to themselves certain attitudes that work exclusively on a subconscious level. In cases where a person is not ready to abandon further relations with a traitor and plans to continue living together with him, but does not know how to forgive infidelity, the advice of a psychologist comes in handy. What exactly do the experts offer:
- initially throw out all emotions outward - allow yourself to cry and come to the conclusion that what has happened cannot be changed;
- give yourself time to accept the situation - during this period it is better not to see the potential offender and allow yourself to assess the degree of necessity of his presence in your life;
- make contact, which the cheating party so requests, and listen to her arguments regarding everything that happened;
- with a marked weakening of one's own aggression and feelings of inexpressible self-pity for himself and for the tormented partner, give himself and him a second chance for coexistence.
How to Forgive Infidelity: Priest's Tips
Quite often, people in difficult times do not seek qualified medical help, but trust in manna from heaven and give preference to their faith. Such followers of spiritual healing are closer to the church. Within its walls they find solace, find peace, and hope to instill in themselves an all-forgiving spirit, narrating their grief to the minister in confession. It is very important for such people to hear the priest's advice: how to forgive treason, how to overcome anger and negative emotions in yourself. The church in the person of its preacher, of course, teaches people to forgive. Not a single priest of the world will invite a person who comes to him to confess to harbor anger against a traitor and even more so avenge him. The Holy Scriptures teach mankind to be merciful, to release their grievances and be able to forgive offenders.
How not to succumb to depression in case of betrayal of a loved one
After experiencing stress in the form of betrayal, many weak-minded people often border on their state of perception with a state of depression. Not knowing how to forgive infidelity and how to get rid of the oppressive burden of resentment, they sit down on antidepressants, shut themselves down, and leave talking with someone. But how not to succumb to this overwhelming state and not be on the verge of collapse?
- Allowing relatives and friends to be near - contact with loving people and taking their care will make you feel not so alone.
- To give free rein to emotions and throw them out by recording in some active group, in a fitness room or in an extreme sports group - the output of negative energy should be carried out rationally.
- To analyze all the details of what happened and objectively evaluate their capabilities: if the sensations suggest that you need to take a person back into the family - tune in to an act of forgiveness, if there is no desire to exist further together - cut off all ways of communicating with the offender and start living a new life.
How to prevent repeated treason
How to forgive infidelity and prevent its repetition? It all depends on the devotee and the traitor himself: if the reason was a family misunderstanding, and feelings were “devoured” by everyday life, both sides need to work on the mistakes, take care of themselves, their appearance, their relationships and try to start loving each other again, then no one will have to seek solace and love on the side.
How to learn to live further after adultery of the second half
How to forgive betrayal and live after that further? In fact, everything is not so complicated. It’s harder to forget betrayal. After all, getting angry forever and reproaching a spouse for their deeds over time bothers: the expressed feelings and splashed resentment clear the angry consciousness of a devoted person. Enormous anger and resentment are replaced by enlightenment and forgiveness. The process of forgetting an unpleasant situation from life is much more difficult. Indeed, love and betrayal are phenomena with opposite charges: the positive energy of love is sometimes not enough to cover the negative energy of adultery.
And yet, you need to decide for yourself: let go of the negative and continue to live in marriage, working on mistakes, or let go of the wrong on all four sides and plunge into the search for new love, new feelings and a new spouse.