The terrible word "divorce" penetrates thoughts when the last illusions of "happily ever after ..." are dispelled. Yes, marriage is not only about love and doves. As follows from the sad statistics, at the moment the United States and Russia are confidently leading in the number of divorced marriages. However, divorce is not always bad. Sometimes personal happiness, for certain reasons, cannot be achieved in a single marriage. In such cases, it is important to know how to decide on a divorce, since putting your whole life on the sacrificial altar is far from the most rational way out of a difficult situation.
It is important to remember that divorce rarely takes place by mutual agreement. Usually this is a rather unpleasant process, which is greatly complicated and delayed if there are joint children or spouses have disagreements on the division of property. The prospect of going through all this scares away many people who can no longer live in a marriage, so it is important to know how to decide on a divorce. In addition, parents, friends, work, many doubts, self-deception and so on may be an obstacle to the divorce proceedings .
In such situations, although it can be very difficult, common sense should be sought. If there is no way to save the marriage, then there is no need to delay the adoption of an important decision. In general, the reasons for divorce are the same for both women and men, but such an act is accompanied by a large number of doubts in the former.
If a man thinks: “I want to divorce my wife,” then habit usually keeps him from such an act, doubts that the new spouse will be better than the current one. He rarely thinks about the financial factor, about housing problems, etc. Moreover, in the vast majority of cases, if children are married, they remain with their mother, which eliminates the need to think about this side of the issue.
If a woman says to herself: “I want to divorce my husband,” then many other constraints are added to the doubts described above. This is taking care of children, the risk of not getting married anymore, and much, much more.
Unfortunately, one cannot give universal advice. Each individual family, when certain problems arise, can either continue to live happily ever after, or stop it. Take, for example, such a common and controversial factor as adultery. But there are certain situations that should in no case be tolerated. And although many do not know how to decide on a divorce, it will still be the only way to solve problems.
Such categorical reasons that can not simply be endured include the following:
1) domestic violence: it can be both physical (beatings) and moral (tyranny);
2) problems with addiction to alcohol or drugs;
3) complete psychological incompatibility.
If such situations arise, you can and should try to ask for help, but if there are no results, then putting up with it for the sake of children (the most common reason for maintaining such marriages) or for the sake of something else is completely inexpedient. Here it is very necessary to find strength and make an important life-affirming step, since deciding on a divorce is sometimes the only way to maintain self-esteem and raise full-fledged children who will not witness false relationships built on humiliation and lack of understanding.