No matter how strong the relationship, they can always exhaust themselves. Only in fairy tales can one live long, happily and die in one day. Of course, such cases also happen, but they are very rare. In most cases, the partner’s satiety in marriage occurs either in the first year of marriage, or much later. And then the first thoughts about the break begin to arise. Whatever the reason for the separation, it makes you think about the difficulties of sharing property, children and their upbringing, and other material aspects. And then the question inevitably arises, is it worth it to divorce her husband?
What does a divorce or breakup mean?
First, we’ll decipher the very concept of divorce. It implies a complete break in family relations, carried out in the legal field. After such a separation, the spouses become former. They no longer have a common family budget.
After the separation, a quick or lengthy divorce process takes place, as a result of which all the property acquired in the marriage and material values are divided in half. Also resolved issues related to the material support of minor children. It is because of them that so often wives think about whether to divorce their husband. It is much easier to leave when there are no children.
The word is given to statistics
As in any field of activity, the institution of marriage has its own statistics. For example, in Russia, the USA and most European countries, out of 1000 marriages, approximately 500-600 end in divorce.
In Japan, there are only 250 divorces per 1,000 marriages. At the same time, in the first year of marriage, about 4% of the spouses are separated. After two years, a little less than 1 6%, after 3-4 - 18%. The highest percentage of divorces is observed for couples who have been married for between 5 and 10 years. This indicator corresponds to 28%.
Married couples who have lived together for more than 10, but less than 20 years, in 22% of cases break up. And all who live more than 20 years - in only 12% of cases, they leave forever. If you put together statistics on family relationships, you can draw several conclusions at once. For example, that the earlier existing concept of marriage has almost lost its former popularity.
More and more people are preferring informal marriages. The largest percentage of children are born precisely in such families. Perhaps for someone this is a perfectly acceptable option, avoiding the division of property and other problems. Women living in a civil marriage are much less likely to understand whether it is worth divorcing her husband. And all because they are not in official relations.
Opinions about divorce: keep the family by any means
Many consider divorce to be a last resort. To solve sore family problems, in their opinion, it is possible without parting with a spouse. For the same reason, many ladies set themselves the goal of preserving the family, no matter what. And this is their biggest mistake.
Because of such "family blindness," they have to put up with the frequent mood swings of their spouse. There are frequent cases of overt violence in the family, which is also easy to endure if you think about preserving the family.
Such women, according to most family psychotherapists, are called "terpils." They are ready to forgive their spouse everything, from regular insults and ending with assault, treason and frequent intoxication. But there are certain signs that it is time to divorce her husband. What are these signs? And how to distinguish them from ordinary resentment during frequent family quarrels?
What signs can be a signal for divorce
Many older people say that the main signal for divorce is an uncomfortable condition that occurs next to a partner. The reason for this sensation may be associated with frequent quarrels, betrayals, incorrect behavior of the spouse. So, if a man often raises his hand at you, it will never stop by itself. It remains only to reconcile and live, enduring daily beatings, or getting divorced.
You may also not be satisfied with the moral principles of your spouse. For example, some men fall into the category of “lodging”. They do not like to work. Even if they get a job, they cannot stay there for a long time. As a result, they are often in search of work and more and more lie on the couch in front of the TV.
In such families, the entire financial burden falls on the shoulders of the wife. Some women are even forced to work in several jobs. But is it worth it to divorce a husband who does nothing to help around the house, only eats, sleeps, and sometimes carries out small assignments and marital duty? If many years of persuasion did not succeed in changing the situation, the answer is yes. Definitely worth it. Why do you need a spouse who is useless like a domestic cat?
In a word, the main sign leading to a divorce is the lack of comfort near the spouse.
Severe emotional state and feelings
Divorce is difficult for both spouses. Having lived in marriage for some time, the couple get used to each other. For both, this separation is very painful. This is especially true for women. Whatever the reason for the divorce, she deeply injures her ex-spouse.
As a result, apathy occurs, depression. It is sometimes very difficult to get out of this state on your own. And it’s good if friends and close relatives help you with this. Otherwise, only a specialist can do it. It is not uncommon for women who are disappointed and heartbroken to commit suicide.
Should I divorce my husband if he cheats?
Often, one of the reasons for the start of the divorce process is the betrayal of her husband. Many women perceive it as a personal insult, an encroachment on their property. It hurts their pride. Therefore, many are not able to forgive her. The overall result is a complete breakdown of such a relationship.
According to psychologists, both should understand this issue. The problem usually does not arise from scratch. You need to sit down at the negotiating table and discuss everything with the traitor. But whether it is worth divorcing her husband because of this or not, it should be decided after the end of the conversation.
This approach will help to find out the main reason why the spouse decided on this act. For example, situations are not uncommon when a woman did not devote much time to him due to circumstances. She was completely immersed in work, passionate about self-education or raising children. And sex once a week she was quite satisfied. The husband was fundamentally disagree with this order of things. He wanted a greater and more frequent intimacy with his wife. And if her proposals often made her “hurt her head” or referred to unusual tiredness, involuntarily, he was forced to think about treason.
What determines the wife’s reaction to her husband’s infidelity
This is often an impulsive decision related to resentment. Changed, then you need to get a divorce. However, here it is necessary to consider each case separately. In most cases, experts advise you to pay attention to the following points:
- Was the betrayal accidental (sometimes it happens, for example, during an event where employees of the company can feel more free).
- Whether it happened in another city or country (often cheating occurs during business trips, when a man is at a great distance from his beloved).
- How often cheating has occurred (for example, it was an accidental meeting or they took place on a regular basis and over many years).
- Was it a regular partner or did they always change?
- Whether the spouse cheated openly or everything was done in secret (if we are talking about the first case, this indicates a clear disrespect for the wife; this means that the time has come when it is time to divorce the husband).
Even if you get answers to all these questions, psychologists recommend once again weighing the pros and cons before accepting hasty conclusions and agreeing to part with each other.
Is it worth it to keep her husband if he does not want
Imagine a situation: for many years a husband cheated on his wife. He did it secretly, and his wife did not even know about the existence of another. They had a baby or several children. Everything was fine. And suddenly one day the husband approaches his missus and declares that he is leaving her to another woman. He says that he loves another and demands to officially let him go. But is it necessary to do this? And is it worth divorcing your husband if you have a child or several children in common?
In this case, many ladies will react differently. Someone will throw a scandal and go to deal with the woman’s home, scuff her hair, disgrace the whole house, etc. Others, on the contrary, will silently collect things for their spouse and take them out the door. Some will do the same, but will send him in what he was in, without first collecting his things. It is clear that both will then sob bitterly in the pillow and engage in self-discipline because of the insult inflicted by the husband. But all this will be after.
However, there are also ladies who are ready to forgive her husband’s betrayal for the sake of children. They literally fall at the feet of the faithful, begin to sob and beg him to stay. Some resort to low blackmail by children, suicide, etc.
According to family therapists, you must let your traitor go wherever he wants. Otherwise, your marriage will literally be a fiction and will ultimately poison the life of both of you. And can you live in constant suspicion? Delayed at work - that means a lover. He didn’t pick up the phone when they called, hers, etc. And the spouse himself will be crushed. After all, he will have to live forcefully with a man whom he has not loved for a long time. In such a situation, answer yourself honestly: could you live nearby if you no longer wanted a husband? Is it worth it to get divorced in this case? Definitely yes.
Part with your face
Even parting with your spouse is necessary while maintaining your own face and dignity. If you nevertheless decided on this, most likely, it was not unreasonable. Therefore, to humble yourself, ask, beg, sob and crawl on your knees - this is not yours. You can sob after. But your spouse will not see this already.
Do not go to extremes. If the man decided to leave, he will leave anyway. Moreover, his decision does not depend on the number of your children. In general, the relationship between spouses is one thing, and the relationship between the father and his family is another.
He can really love his children, but completely cool to their mother. Therefore, if your chosen one just hinted that he loves another, and plans to leave for her, this is the main sign that it is time to divorce your husband. How to understand that he leaves forever? Everything is simple. He will start a conversation with you on this subject.
Do you need a break when passion has passed
There are times when a woman is tired of monotonous family relationships, and is looking for an option on the side. In any marriage, relationships must be nurtured. You need to work on them. And when someone does not want or gets tired of doing it, betrayal occurs. And this applies to both spouses. It was then that at many women's forums and topics arose something like "I do not want a husband, is it worth getting a divorce?"
If your relationship is really outdated, do not torment your partner. Release him and leave yourself. And the sooner you realize and do this, the sooner you will start a new life with a new person. And so, you will torment your husband and yourself.
Remember, if you do not love your husband, is it worth it to get a divorce, you decide. Another thing is that after a divorce, you can literally spread your wings and breathe freely.
Can constant insults of the husband cause divorce
Among the huge number of reasons that encourage spouses to leave, it is worth highlighting the problem of incorrect male behavior. Very often these men can be seen in noisy companies. During conversations, they do not miss the opportunity not to insult or humiliate their wife. If this is about you, then remember our comfort tip. Think about it, are you really comfortable with this person?
And if there were plenty of attempts to shame him and calm him down, but he has not changed, divorce cannot be avoided here. You can, of course, endure it further, but is it worth it? Divorcing her husband, if he insults, is vital.
After all, if you hear a lot of negativity in your address constantly, you will inevitably begin to wonder if your spouse is right ?! What if you are really a worthless creature that costs nothing in this life? As a result, your self-esteem sharply decreases. You understand that besides him no one will need you, well, then down the list. You are bad, he is a benefactor, etc.
Such relationships are called parasitic. In them, one person asserts himself at the expense of another. If until the end of your days you do not want to listen to his insults, do not tolerate, get a divorce.
Financial situation and divorce: is there a connection?
Some couples break up as soon as financial difficulties arise in their marriage. For example, a previously influential and wealthy husband goes bankrupt. Should a wife get a divorce? If you were with him for the sake of money, then yes. Find someone richer and better. If you love your spouse, you can always survive bankruptcy. There are cases when the largest businessmen lost everything three or four times, started from scratch and rose again. So, decide for yourself!