When the child's age approaches 11 years, parents begin to notice some changes in his behavior. The child grows, psychologically reorganizing in accordance with the internal physiological processes in his body. In education, the adolescent period is considered the most problematic.
Young teens
Yesterday’s child is trying to realize his place in society, in the classroom, in friendly company, in the family. Analyzing briefly the features of adolescence, we can conclude that the adolescent painfully perceives his failures and is panicky afraid of loneliness. Any trifle can injure a teenager. A careless stinging remark is often the cause of prolonged spleen. Features of adolescence - self-doubt, excessive emotionality and inability to control oneself.
Adults cease to be his authority. It is very difficult for parents and teachers to influence a teenager. He simply does not perceive them. The opinion of friends and peers becomes authoritative for him. A feature of young adolescents is that the child thinks that adults do not understand him. And he is looking for those people who, as he thinks, will understand him.
The physiological feature of adolescence is increased activity and fatigue. The energy of the teenager must be directed in the right direction. He would love to do art or sports, if you explain to him that this will distinguish him from the crowd, and will also help to become more popular in children's society. But the parental explanation that these activities are good for health, development of mental abilities, in most cases completely useless.
Adult demonstration
It is very important for a teenager that adults understand: he is no longer small. He requires respect and an appropriate attitude.
How can he prove that he is already an adult? What distinguishes an adult from a child? Given the peculiarities of adolescent development, we can conclude: the child answers these questions in his, still childish, mind. That is why teens begin to smoke, drink alcohol and have sexual relations, stop obeying adults. To convince him that these are not signs of adulthood and maturity is almost impossible.
Starting in grade 5, teenagers are discussed at the meeting to help parents cope with the difficulties of the transitional period in their child’s life. Assistants to parents will be a variety of circles and sections that correspond to the interests of the teenager. He will be busy and passionate. You also need to monitor what kind of environment your child has.
Fathers and Sons
A difficult period begins between teenagers and their parents. A psychologist should introduce the characteristics of adolescence at a parent's parent meeting. The growing child seeks to show its independence, often argues and is rude. Given the characteristics of adolescence, parents need to behave properly. For starters, you need to avoid moralizing. There will be no sense from them, since the teenager will perceive them with hostility. To be heard, parents need to speak softly and calmly. There should not be any categorization and sharpness. Compromises must be sought, even concessions made. Scandals with their own child are not needed by any parent. The main thing is to maintain good and trusting relationships. In no case should not offend, criticize, intimidate a teenager. This can permanently alienate him from his parents. Also, you can not compare your child with others. At the parent meeting on the characteristics of adolescence a lot of attention is paid to this issue. Comparison is not possible to achieve anything good.
The parent needs to be firm and consistent. A teenager should not feel that an adult is hesitating. The authority of parents must be unshakable, no matter what. If adults scream, behave hysterically, there is no point in demanding decent behavior from the child.
Parents should remember that their attitude to the child is the basis of their self-esteem. If a teenager knows that he is loved, respected, appreciated, then he will feel more confident and free.
Study
The crisis of adolescence occurs at a time when the child needs to give up all his strength to study, prepare for exams. But most teenagers are relegated to school. Moreover, the teenager does not pay due attention to school activities, because his classmates may find him non-modern, boring.
Problems begin: school performance is sharply reduced, parents are called. And all adults unanimously reiterate to the teenager that he needs to think only about study, think about his future. What does the child think about this? How tired adults with their notations! Both teachers and parents will need tremendous patience to cope with these characteristics of teenage children. Adults need to remember: adolescence lasts only a few years. The main thing for this short time is not to turn the child away from school by excessive rigor and incorrectness.
A feature of adolescence is, on the one hand, the desire to stand out, and on the other hand, not to stand out, to be the same as everyone else. Teenager's fear is to become an outcast. Therefore, he will by all means adapt to the mood of the majority. And this majority, unfortunately, regards learning with disdain and contempt. There are not many individuals who are self-confident and self-sufficient, and therefore are not interested in the opinions of their peers. Such teenagers study with enthusiasm and diligence. Basically, it is the merit of their parents who correctly motivate their children and set the right goals for them.
Physiological problems of adolescents
The body of a teenager begins to change. Fortunately, there is not a very long period when his body seems disproportionate, and the movements of the child become awkward. In addition, secondary sexual characteristics begin to develop in adolescents. Not everyone is right and calm about them. Many are shy of their changing body. Parents should help the child, taking into account the particular development of adolescence. They must explain to their child that these changes are completely natural, tell about the features of personal hygiene.
Excessive sweating in adolescents is a real problem if you do not follow the rules of hygiene and, of course, do not use deodorant.
The teenager cannot but be bothered by acne that appeared on his face. Parents need to inform the child about the features of skin care in adolescence. There are many gels for washing, scrubs and tonics that will help get rid of this annoying phenomenon.
First love
The time of first love is one of the most amazing in human life. Of course, provided that love is mutual. For a teenager, this feeling is new, it confuses him. Everything fades into the background: parents, school, friends, interests. The whole world for a teenager is enclosed in the object of his love.
It is important for parents to properly respond to this change in the life of their son or daughter. No need to intrusively question your child. Neatly asked questions, delicate comments will gradually provoke him into a frank conversation. If a teenager asks for advice or talks about new sensations from his feelings, parents should not criticize the object of his love, insult, or allow himself to be caustic and skeptical. Let this love end in a few months, but now it seems to the child eternal. No need to disappoint him.
If love is not mutual, parents should tactfully support their child. You can talk heart to heart by telling a similar story from your life or from the life of your friends.
Hikikomori
Adolescents who consciously completely abandon social life call themselves hikikomori or simply hikki.
The teenager does not want to communicate with anyone, to leave his room. It may be too early for parents to sound the alarm. First you need to find out the reasons for the behavior of your growing child. Maybe he is offended by someone. Often, this behavior is a result of conflicts with classmates or friends. Another thing is if the isolation of a teenager lasts a long time and is aggravated. In this case, you need to contact a psychologist who knows exactly what the features of adolescence are.
Trap
It seems that the age-related feature of adolescence is the desire to listen to everyone, but not to parents and teachers. Those adults who are something that adolescents admire and respect, they are ready to perceive. That is why it is precisely the children of adolescence that become easy prey for attackers who brilliantly use the personality characteristics of adolescence: naivety, energy, heightened feelings, aggression and ambitiousness.
Victim of cybercriminals
A teenager can become a victim of an attacker not only in real life, but also on the Internet. Criminals on social networks study information about a child, and then begin communication under the guise of a page created by a teenager of the opposite sex, who is “miraculously” fully consistent with the idea of a “second half”. Communication begins, which is becoming more trusting and frank. An attacker tries to gently extract as much information as possible from a teenager that will help to commit a crime. The goals of the offender can be very diverse. Basically, this is a robbery, violence or blackmail (after selecting the appropriate incriminating materials).
How to protect your child from intruders? More communicate with him, to be aware of all his affairs, desires and aspirations. It also makes sense to check your browser history to know which sites and for what purpose the child spends time. And, of course, you need to limit the time you use gadgets.
Virtual life
Since self-doubt, self-reliance, attractiveness is considered a feature of adolescence, it is more convenient for him to communicate on the Internet than in real life. In reality, he can make mistakes, act stupidly, shyness can prevent him. And on social networks, a teenager feels more at ease, makes acquaintances more easily, and bolderly supports conversation.
The flip side of the hobby for social networks, besides the real threat of visual impairment from prolonged spending time at the computer, is the flight from reality. In any case, life passes in the present, and not in the virtual world. Therefore, parents need to submit ideas for real hobbies that can really interest the teenager.
Why shouldn’t teenagers go on tight diets?
This problem mainly affects teenage girls. Wanting to be like their idols (actresses, models, pop divas), the girls begin to lose weight feverishly. There are a great many ways to lose weight. But adolescents, of course, choose the fastest, often completely refusing to eat food. Such exhausting hunger strikes lead to really scary results. There are tragic deaths. Rigid diets do not bring the desired magic weight loss. Not only do they cause severe damage to the growing body, contributing to the development of serious diseases, they also do not bring the desired effect. After the termination of rigid diets, weight returns twice.
If a teenager really has problems with overweight, parents need to competently approach the nutrition of their child. It is enough to limit the use of flour, sweets and a variety of fast foods. Do not let the teenager overeat, it is better to eat 4, and not 3 times a day.
Weight problems often occur in those adolescents who move a little, spend a lot of time at the computer or on the couch with the phone. Parents can be invited to enroll their child in the sports section, and for an older teenager, they can buy a subscription to the pool or gym. Walking in the fresh air will be very useful in such a situation. Parents can also give their child a bicycle or videos, thereby motivating the child to an active lifestyle.
Peer Relationships
All psychologists agree in the common opinion that at the center of a teenager's life is his communication with peers. This communication largely determines his behavior and activities.
Communication with peers is a sphere of relations, especially attractive for adolescents. Unlike relationships with adults, it is based on the principle of equality. This communication satisfies the actual interests and needs of the adolescent, since the values that are formed at him at this age are close and understandable to his peer. The importance of communicating with adults fades into the background. It can no longer replace communication with peers.
The desire for such communication is manifested in adolescents very vividly, becoming an essential need. Dysfunctional relationships with classmates, quarrels with friends, the absence of a close friend can be a real tragedy for a teenager. Loneliness is unbearable for a teenager, and worrying about it can have sad consequences.
A teenager seeks to attract the attention of his comrades. This can occur in a variety of ways, including violation of adult requirements.
Relations with peers develop the child's skills in social interaction, collective discipline, the balance of personal and public interests. In such a society, a teenager develops the communicative qualities that are so necessary for him in his future adult life.
Conclusion
Each parent must go through this difficult period with his child. The teenager is in an ambiguous position. On the one hand, he is no longer a child and strives for independence, proving his rights to personal space. On the other hand, a teenager is very dependent on his parents not only financially, but also emotionally. Parents need to remember that the rudeness of their child is not at all proof that he has stopped loving them. It is necessary not to interfere with him seeking his place in life and society, not to unnecessarily patronize him. Some parents make the mistake of telling a teenager that he should act as an adult, but at the same time treat him like a child. You should behave with him as an equal, but not forgetting that he really needs the love and support of his parents, although he does not show this.