Situations when a married man has a lover or a married lady has a lover is not uncommon. These relationships are always risky, secret and balance on the verge of disclosure. Most often, they are associated with new sensations, the experience of unusual emotions, often have undisguised sexual overtones. Sometimes both participants of the “triangle” are so carried away that real feelings flare up between them. But what to do when a woman fell in love with her lover? How to avoid this? And are there any signs of such love?
Finding out the true motives
The simplest method that will help you not to fall in love with a lover is to find out the true motives of treason. If a woman went “to the side”, there is always a logical explanation for this act. For example, a spouse is so busy at work that she does not pay enough attention to her. He regularly travels on business trips, is not at home. It is elementary that the spouse begins to get bored.
The second reason for adultery may be material difficulties. For example, spouses are barely making ends meet. But suddenly a wealthy macho appears on the horizon at the lady, ready to solve all her financial problems.
Often the cause of infidelity is associated with monotony, complete or partial dissatisfaction in bed. What did you think? Not just men give variety. Life and everyday life reduce attraction, cause indifference, and also encourage to seek new sensations on the side. Of course, it is important that the young lady inspired by good sex does not fall in love with her lover.
Sometimes the cause of female infidelity is hidden in good intentions. For example, when the head of the “horned” spouse acts as a lover. In such a situation, a woman meets with her lover only in order to help her husband move up the career ladder, increase his salary, etc. This is a deliberately self-serving disposition of a woman. Fell in love with a lover? It’s immediately clear that no.
Another reason is revenge. Yes Yes. Women, although not bloodthirsty creatures, are very vengeful. For example, a wife repeatedly finds her missus talking to some ladies. They write love letters to him, call in the middle of the night, thank them for a wonderful time in messages, or even report to his home.
Seeing such dishonest behavior on the part of her husband, the spouse decides to take revenge and have a lover. Thus, she plans to make him jealous, forget about all her passions, etc.
In a word, there can be many reasons. The main advice, how not to fall in love with a lover, is a sober assessment of the situation. For what purpose did you have an intimate relationship on the side? Be honest with yourself. What do you need it for? What prompted you to do just that?
What does analysis of its original purpose give?
Identifying the real cause of adultery is easy. It is enough to weigh everything and look at the situation soberly. In this case, the main thing is to remind yourself of your intentions whenever you feel a change in feelings for a partner. It is simply necessary to do so that you do not fall in love with a lover. What if the ultimate goal is just sex? Repeat it to yourself like a mantra. Then there will be no problems with falling in love.
Timely dotting over “and”
In order for you not to fall in love with a lover, remember the second golden rule: agree in advance with your partner about the limits of what is permitted. This means that he must also be aware of your true relationship. Do not allow words of love on his part. Stop these attempts. Remind him that you love your husband, and cheat on him with him, for example, only to satisfy your sexual appetites.
Listen but don't melt
Do you know how not to fall in love with a married lover? Do not start any relationship on the side. This will save you from unnecessary love and save your nerves. But if it so happened that you had an unplanned affair, be vigilant. Remember that women love ears. And men are masters to hang noodles on them.
Therefore, your main task is to listen to it, but not to melt away from the pressure of beautiful words. Do not forget: if he agreed to treason, he might not have the first one. Moreover, he skillfully deceives his wife. He comes up with various situations in order to pay attention to you. This does not mean that you are more dear to him than his wife. Do not flatter yourself. It also satisfies its goals and needs. So, you should not believe when he promises, for example, to leave his wife for you. If he is with you, this does not mean that he fell in love. It is easier for a lover to control his feelings than his partner.
Remember that often a lover and wife complement each other. So, this turn of events of the unfaithful husband is perfectly fine. The bottom line is that it’s so convenient for him. Otherwise, he would have long left the family.
What is the danger of love for a lover?
Like women, men also change for a number of reasons. Infidelity of the husband is often associated with the need to change the situation, with self-affirmation, the search for new sensations. Sometimes in a lover a man searches for a friend who always supports, understands, listens and gives valuable advice. This especially happens when the official spouse criticizes the man, humiliates, insults. And then do not be offended, dear ladies. He will seek understanding on the side.
Therefore, you should not forget that you are not a wife, but a lover. What are the main advantages of this status? You do not owe anything to anyone. Love relationships in the “triangle” are communication without obligations. Do not burden your situation with love.
Satisfy your needs and make this relationship easy and laid-back. Remember, a lover in love becomes demanding, suspicious, moody, jealous. And she becomes the second wife who “saws”, presses and demands from her lover the realization of her needs.
And what will a man do with such a passion? Right. He will leave her and look for a new relationship that will be easy and laid-back.
Do not tie a lover with gifts
Another simple tip: do not tie a lover with gifts. Remember, you actually have a mutually beneficial relationship with him. At the expense of you, he satisfies his needs, including physical ones. And you do the same at his expense. He is not a relative or best friend to you. Do not give gifts to him.
Do not patronize him excessively. Not everyone likes caring mothers. Allowing yourself to take care of someone is to allow yourself to love him. Remember, he is not your man. He already has a beloved wife, from whom for some reason he does not leave.
Do not ask him about the family
At the very beginning of your relationship, try not to get into your lover's family. You should not find out anything about his spouse, children and other family values. Of course, if for some reason he himself does not decide to tell you.
Moreover, asking a man about the family, you risk hearing another sweet lie. For example, many men tell their naive passions that they rarely sleep with their wives or don’t have any intimate relationships at all. In reality, they are in a relationship with you and your wife almost simultaneously. At the same time, the spouse is sure that the faithful loves only her and is 100% faithful to her.
Wife always comes first
It is imperative to understand that a wife for your lover will always play a major role in his life. Despite all the problems and reasons, because of which he went to the side, he will come home, communicate with her and behave as if nothing had happened.
His life is associated with his wife, experienced emotions, memories, property, children. According to statistics, 99% of men do not like to change anything in life. Therefore, they do not abandon their wives, continuing to tell tales to their mistresses.
What to do if you are already in love?
Of course, you should not bring yourself to such extremes. But what if you still fell in love with a lover? To get started, pull yourself together. Weigh the pros and cons.
But the main thing is to evaluate how much time you are together. And if this time has long exceeded 5-10 years, think about it. If during this time he did not leave the family for you, then he will never leave.
Try to find negative traits in it. While you idealize it, but it is worth taking a closer look ... Psychologists also advise conducting an experiment by inviting the partner to open to both spouses. His reaction will tell you everything. Most likely, you will understand that it is no longer possible to continue relations with him.
When you are married but in love
If you are married, is it time to switch attention from a lover to a husband? For example, if you weren’t satisfied with an intimate relationship, sign up for any interesting courses, undergo training to restore relations, talk with your spouse. It is possible that he did not even suspect that somehow you were not happy, and even more so did not think that his wife would fall in love with her lover. Try to build relationships in your own family.
“A single woman wants to meet ...”
If you are single and many years of communication with a lover has not led to anything, break off such a relationship. Life goes by. You are not getting younger. Therefore, do not waste time on initially unpromising relationships. Do not focus exclusively on your lover. In parallel, look for someone who really suits you.
Lover in love: signs
As you can see, in most cases, lovers remain in their families and continue to meet with their mistresses for many years. While one of the parties does not realize the impasse of the situation.
But sometimes the lover himself falls in love with his partner. The main sign of this phenomenon is the desire to be constantly with the object of your attention. He takes care of the lady. Spends time mainly with her and rarely at home. And finally, he starts a conversation with his passion about the future. He does not delay divorce and offers the hand and heart of his beloved. But do not flatter yourself. This happens in only 1% of cases. Therefore, keep a sober head and do not waste time in vain on relationships without a future.