The betrayal of a loved one always unsettles and deprives moral strength. One of the most powerful blows of a man is called the betrayal of his wife. Such an act seriously injures male pride. Today we offer to talk about what to do if an inexhaustible source of jokes knocked on your door. We will tell you how to survive the betrayal of his wife, to understand the reasons for betrayal. We will tell you about how not to do stupid things and not to commit rash acts, which you can later regret.
Signs of a wife cheating
Of course, it is very difficult to visually determine if your spouse is cheating on you or not. Psychologists and sexologists say: in the event that your wife suddenly began to take care of herself, left the house without her huge shopping bag, went to the salon and made herself a new hairstyle, manicure and pedicure, acquired magnificent underwear, you should be wary . Failures in proximity may be a cause for concern. In the event that the other half regularly refuses you due to the fact that she has a headache, she is tired, she does not want to today or smells bad from you, look for a man! Another wake-up call is regular delays at work. Often a woman begins to disappear on weekends: she has a plausible excuse for you - she says she goes to fitness or to the library, to shopping or to the planetarium, to her friend or to her mother.
The betrayal of the wife should be considered even if expensive jewelry and clothes, perfumes and flowers began to appear on her. It is worth noting that according to statistics, 90% of adultery are found, however, only 30 of them lead to divorce. In all other cases, husbands show nobility and forgive the betrayal, treason and novels of the wife, preferring to save the family.
Of course, it is extremely difficult to deal with such serious family troubles. Here the advice of a psychologist is irreplaceable. We have collected them for you in our material!
Turn on the mind
What does a husband do when he finds out about his wife’s betrayal - treason? Of course, the first thing that comes to his mind is the invention of a sophisticated punishment for an unfaithful woman. Being in a state of emotional shock, the husband can do stupid things, for which subsequently he will be incredibly ashamed. That is why, according to psychologists, the first thing you need to calm down. Of course, this is incredibly difficult, but try to take control of your own emotions. As soon as the first shock has passed, consider why the wife decided on such a serious misconduct. Experts say that when harmony reigns in the family, wives do not walk on the side. Try to remember how you lived recently. Most likely, your family has long had a breakdown. That is why the betrayal of the wife is only the first alarm signal, which indicates a large number of problems.
Solution
Once your head has worked in the usual mode, you can safely decide what to do next. A reasonable decision includes several points:
- Lack of physical abuse.
- Denial of everything that goes beyond the law.
- Lack of moral punishment.
Why did the wife cheat?
Speaking about the betrayal of the wife, one should separately consider the reasons why she went on treason. According to statistics, women go “to the left” much less often than men, because the family is extremely important for the majority of the fair sex. Do not arrange scandals and showdowns, do not threaten physical harm. Try to figure out what exactly caused the fraud. For example, cheating on a wife can be a kind of response to a similar behavior of the spouse. Psychologists say that quite often in a situation where the husband pays too much attention to other women and maintains close relationships with them, his other half tries to take revenge on him. In the same way, of course.
It also happens that by changing several times and being satisfied with vengeance, a woman calms down, and family life goes on as before. Another reason for the wife's betrayal is a lack of attention from her husband. Very often, women are forced to work on an equal basis with their spouses, in addition, a lot of worries and troubles await them at home, in which the spouse helps extremely rarely. Cheating on a wife in this case is a way to find mutual understanding. Often, women decide on treason due to dissatisfaction in sexual relations. Try to analyze your behavior during intimacy with your wife. Perhaps this is the problem that pushed your beloved woman into betrayal. The most serious reason is the wife’s love or affection for another man. In this situation, the risk of family breakdown is maximum.
Get rid of guilt
Such a betrayal of a wife, like treason, often leads to the fact that a decent husband begins to look for the reason for such behavior of the spouse in himself. This can lead to complete confusion and despair. Quite often there is a feeling of guilt: a man begins to think that it is because of him that his family and the world are crumbling right before his eyes, and he can not do anything about it. How to help yourself in this situation? You need to try to understand that the betrayal of the husband by the wife is a deliberate choice of the second half. Just for some reason, the spouse did not look for ways to improve relations, but took the path of least resistance. Psychologists recommend accepting what happened. No one has yet invented a time machine, you will not turn back the clock and get the state of calm that prevailed in your house before. Remember: in this situation, it was not you who acted destructively, but the person who acted meanly!
Take a break
After you learn about your wife’s betrayal, give yourself time to cool down and calm down. Such a pause is incredibly important, because if you do not do it, you will easily get out of a state of mental equilibrium. In a fit of anger, you can say a lot of insulting words to your spouse and perform actions that will necessarily lead to separation. If it’s really difficult for you to control yourself and you feel that the situation is heating up, limit contact with the other half. You can stay with friends or parents for a while.
This will give the deceived husband the opportunity to calm down and think about further actions. In no case take your time, try to use this situation for the benefit of your family relationships. Psychologists say that cheating is not at all a synonym for the end of a relationship, in most cases this problem can be solved. The betrayal of the wife will allow us to take a fresh look at the family and ourselves, to rethink something. The fact is that any betrayal is a testament to the fact that previously close people are now estranged from each other and no longer understand each other. Believe me, happy couples will not seek solace or entertainment on the side!
Talk about what happened
After you take the necessary pause, try to think about how you will live on. Remember: no one will be able to make this important decision for you. What to do after the betrayal of his wife? In no case do not run away from this problem. You must understand that it will not be resolved on its own. Family relations experts recommend talking with your other half about what happened. If your emotions calmed down, you do not start a conversation with the clarification of relations and scandal, you can achieve quite good results. A conversation with your wife will help you free yourself from an oppressive sense of guilt, despair and incredible pain. During the dialogue, try to analyze exactly what the behavior of you or your partner could lead to this situation. Try to temporarily abandon the charges and insults. Open to the wife the whole depth of your inner experiences, in no case feel free to express your own feelings: if you are experiencing and suffering, tell your wife about this.
Do I need to forgive my wife?
Psychologists say: very often they are approached by men who think about whether to forgive a woman after a betrayal or not. Determine whether there is a chance of preserving the family, or not, will help the reason why the wife decided on treason. Quite often, the lady who has changed has repented, which means that the situation can be resolved, and family relationships can be saved. In order to answer your own question about whether to forgive the betrayal of the second half, try to imagine your life without it. Imagine that you returned home from work, and your beloved woman is not there. Imagine that there are no joys and trifles, you have lost family holidays and traditions. What hurts you more: the absence of a loved one or a blow to self-esteem? If you have made a decision in favor of your family, your next task is to forget what has happened and make the maximum effort to strengthen the family union.
Restore family relationships
Immediately after this, begin to restore or improve your old relationship. With mutual desire, this is quite easy to do. The following recommendations will help you:
- Pay attention to your appearance, any woman wants an attractive man next to her.
- Devote more time and attention to your soulmate, find out what she is interested in, what she dreams about.
- Try to remember your first date, repeat the romantic moments of the very first meetings.
- Remember the last time you gave your wife flowers? It seems to be worth doing more often. Do not forget about compliments and pleasant words.
- Discuss your sexual relationships, more often listen to the wishes of your wife.
A sense of revenge
Often a man who decides to leave his second half after a betrayal, thinks about how to avenge his wife for treason and betrayal. In an attempt to find the optimal method of punishment, many men go to a variety of nonsense. For example, they create fake accounts of their spouse on social networks, laying out her phone number and candid photos. It also happens that a deceived spouse destroys the gifts that he once gave to his beloved woman. But perhaps one of the most sophisticated ways psychologists call flirting with his wife’s best friend.
Of course, the infidelity of a loved one can turn the whole world. In the very first minutes after such news, panic sets in: the man simply does not understand what he should do now, how to live on. That is why in his head thoughts appear on how to avenge his wife for betrayal. Experts say: a sense of revenge usually arises from resentment for oneself. The fact is that any person is inclined to idealize himself and his own actions, while not leaving others even the right to make a mistake. Try to understand that everyone can make mistakes, there is nothing permanent in the world, this applies even to feelings and relationships. Before you blame your wife and come up with an insidious plan of revenge, think about whether you yourself are ideal, haven’t you changed your spouse psychologically or physically in your whole life, or at least you didn’t want to change? Do not bear the scary punishment plans if the spouse sincerely repents and asked you for forgiveness. It is likely that she really regrets that she took such a step.
How to punish a wife?
The best way to punish a woman is absolute outward indifference. It hurts far more than trying to take revenge or physical abuse. In the event that you cannot forgive your spouse, just talk with your wife (ex) about the betrayal. Tell us what you knew about him for a long time. In this situation, psychologists say, conscience can begin to torment her.
Let's try to summarize. Forgive your wife or take revenge on her, you decide. However, it is important to understand that the desire to punish a person can lead to devastation and aversion to their own actions. Is it worth the revenge of such victims, and to whom in such a case you are taking revenge?