There is a saying: "After a fight, they don’t wave their fists." But how often one wants to replay the past, to keep offensive words spoken in the heat of anger, to return loved ones who have left early, not to commit rash acts. Sometimes it seems that forgetting the past is impossible. It hurts, disturbs, poisons existence, brings unbearable pain.
But living in the past is impossible. No matter how painful it may be, the path left behind cannot be corrected. Need to live on. But how to do that? How to forget the past that brings so much pain?
There are two solutions to the problem. The first is the simplest. You can continue to remember what has passed, cherish your sadness, daily experience the pain of resentment or loss, gradually poisoning life not only to yourself, but to others.
The second solution is more complex, but productive. It is necessary to let go of all that has sunk into oblivion. Remember, as in the song: "And you forgive him, forgive and let him go." The past will pass anyway. Emotions will smooth out, grief will subside. But in order to get rid of negative memories forever, you need to force yourself not to think about them. To force it. After all, from the fact that you will daily experience the departure of a loved one, he will not return, and life will not become what it was before.
Imagine that in front of you is a wall on which photographs from past life hang. They are bright, distinct, colored. And only one of them is faded, black and white. Take a closer look at her. Yes, she’s unpleasant, she’s hurting wounds But there are so many bright and bright pictures. Mentally move the photo to the farthest corner. Tell yourself: "Life goes on." And then try to mentally hang bright color photographs from a future life on the wall.
Take yourself into a new business. It does not matter what it will be: chatting with new friends, singing in a choir club, raising grandchildren, or embodying a new business idea. If there is a case that you can devote yourself to with pleasure, the question of how to forget the past will recede into the background, and from the past, over time, only pleasant, perhaps a little sad, but not wounding memories will remain. Only this need to make an effort, you need to love yourself.
How to forget the past? Hundreds of psychological books have been written about this. But they all come down to one thing: to do this, you need to work hard. If you refuse to work on yourself, prefer self-destruction to creation, then there will simply be no future.
Therefore, before answering a question about how to forget the past, choose the appropriate methodology and take action, think carefully about what is more important. What do you choose - constant self-flagellation and eternal tears or a happy future in which you can’t make many mistakes, can you succeed, continue to live? It is up to you. If you decide to continue life, then do not spare yourself, and everything will work out.
There is another question that worries many. How to forget a grudge? What if the faithful, it would seem, man humiliate, insulted, or simply betrayed?
To begin with, try to understand the cause of the offense. Suddenly you just greatly exaggerated? Not? Then try to understand why you were offended. Maybe you yourself provoked such an attitude? Or maybe the person just wanted to make you see something that you do not notice, but did it not very skillfully? What if circumstances just happened so badly?
Now think, why, in fact, you do not want to forgive? Perhaps this is beneficial to you. Many are trying to raise their own self-esteem without forgiving a repentant person. The wrong can be blamed on their own failures or miscalculations. Be honest with yourself. Once you realize the reason for your deep resentment, you will immediately feel better.
Try to discard the negative. There are many ways. You can do the beating of old dishes, start going to the gym or enroll in a martial arts club. Just do not break into other people who are not related to the conflict.
Finally, the most important. Learn to forgive and love yourself. Know how to stop in time, stop sorrow about what has passed. Indeed, in life everything sooner or later ends, and there are no people who have not made mistakes.
Work on yourself and be happy.