The ability to communicate is a real art. Having mastered it, you can convince people to do what you need, attract them to your side, be an interesting conversationalist and respected by all people, make the acquaintances and connections you need, make new friends. How to learn all this? Read the classics!
We offer you an overview of the work of Dale Carnegie. The aphorisms, quotes and wisdom of this brilliant American psychologist will give answers to many vital questions.
about the author
The name Dale Carnegie is known to all people who have ever been interested in issues of personal growth. Writer and teacher, psychologist and lecturer, distinguished speaker. He did not discover anything new, but managed to collect and generalize the scientific works of many great psychologists, as well as to develop an effective system of teaching the main principles of life success.
Dale Carnegie was born into a family of very poor farmers in 1888. Already during his college years, teachers noted that the boy had a clear talent for oratory. His brilliant speeches at the college discussion club aroused the admiration and envy of fellow students. At that time, young Dale was already asked to give oratory lessons.
Perhaps it was then that the boy realized that you could make money on it. He wanted to teach farmers what he knew how to do well - to speak beautifully and convincingly. But at first the idea was not successful. Dale had to look for work. He became a sales agent. However, the idea of opening his own school did not leave.
The young man begins to actively study works on psychology and sales. Having collected the necessary amount, in 1912 Carnegie opened a school of oratory, which immediately gained great fame. There are no empty seats at his lectures. In the process, Dale understands that in addition to the desire to speak correctly, people have a strong desire to learn interpersonal communication. This skill becomes especially indispensable for finding potential customers and their beliefs.
Carnegie begins to write books to bring his ideas to more people. How to get rid of fears and depression? How to attract people and interact with them? He covers these and many other questions in detail in his works. Writing works are a huge success and very quickly bring their creator fame and fortune.
Today, the books of Dale Carnegie are still popular and in demand, and their editions are published in multi-million copies.
Dale Carnegie Books
In 1936, Dale Carnegie's legendary book, How to Make Friends and Influence People, was published in huge circulation (over 4 million copies). She made the author a very wealthy man. For several decades, the publication has been popular with readers, because the Carnegie system, wise quotes and aphorisms of the writer really worked.
The book taught:
- influence people without showing aggression;
- easy to establish personal and business contacts;
- find a common language with any interlocutor;
- Be able to conduct a conversation in a friendly manner.
The book "How to Stop Worrying and Start Living" has helped tens of thousands of people overcome problems and difficulties in life. The author, in simple words using visual examples, tells the reader how to deal with fears and depression. And how, in spite of everything, to remain a happy and positive person. Ordinary people followed his advice and got out of crisis situations, gained faith in their strength and received a boost of energy for further activities.
In total, Dale Carnegie wrote seven books. All of them are issued in numerous editions and translated into many languages. Today, the books of one of the main teachers of mankind are completely disassembled into aphorisms and quotes.
Educational activities
As an excellent lecturer and popular writer, Dale Carnegie was also a talented teacher. He has trained thousands of lecturers and trainers who teach people around the world to communicate and successfully solve their problems. The writer founded a university, institute, training company. Educational institutions have dozens of branches around the world.
Carnegie’s quotes about parenting have long been familiar to people. And often we don’t even know that these words belong to the great author: "A strong desire to learn something is already 50% success."
Shoemaker without shoes
Now many scold the psychologist and his legacy. Critics say that by teaching and mentoring others, he himself had great problems in life. The two marriages of the writer cannot be called successful. It is also believed that Carnegie committed suicide.
It is difficult to be a loving spouse and caring father when all life is scheduled by the clock for a long time to come. The official version of Carnegie’s death is considered a serious incurable disease. And alas, no one is safe from this. However, these circumstances do not detract from the importance and importance of the brilliant work of the writer’s entire life.
The great master of interpersonal communication continues to give advice and guidance through his famous aphorisms and quotes.
1. Do not criticize
Carnegie’s famous quote: “To criticize is a sure way to make enemies. Want to be alone? Criticize. ”
Expressing your criticism of a person, even from the best of intentions, you force him to look for excuses and ways of protection, as if informing his opponent that he doubts his correctness and significance. Resentment and resentment will be the only reactions to your words.
Crude (albeit fair) criticism can do a lot of trouble. In an emotionally vulnerable person, your open aggressive assessment can cause psychological problems in the form of a variety of fears and phobias. Hold back, do not speak after the first emotional prompting. Take a breath and calm down. Only then make a soft and correct remark. Use for this not a direct complaint ("Your endless lateness is already tired of everyone in the department"), but an indirect remark ("Being late for the work of employees annoy our customers, I would not want to work in a nervous state all day").
You cannot do without criticism, because mistakes need to be corrected. But it should be served correctly and dosed. Never make claims against the person’s personality itself, make comments only regarding his actions:
- “Your report is very poorly done!” - wrong.
- “There are errors in your report, they need to be fixed” - right.
2. Express your admiration to people and do it sincerely
Another popular quote by Dale Carnegie: “Everyone is worthy of admiration. And you too. ”
Admiring people, you get the fastest response. Just do it sincerely. No need to flatter. False attempts to manipulate through outright flattery will only set the interlocutor against you. In every person you can find qualities worthy of true praise.
Analyze how you feel about yourself? Do you always give yourself the opportunity to speak out or make excuses? Try to treat the other person the same way. And hostility will recede, and its place will be taken by friendliness and sympathy. Adhering to this manner of communication, you can find a good friend and feel a surge of happiness and kindness in your own soul.
Look in people for something that is admirable, and you will never lose.
3. Get interested in people
Carnegie’s wonderful quote that you need to memorize and follow it every day: "To become a good conversationalist, you must first learn to listen."
Take a look around, look at yourself. Any person, including you, wants everyone to listen to him and talk only about him. During a conversation, people often do not understand each other, because they are only interested in their own person. It would seem a vicious circle. But how easy it is to fix it!
Pay attention to people, remember their names, take an interest in their affairs. Try to gladly fulfill small requests (of course, without prejudice to personal interests). Notice how people look. Celebrate any new clothes or hairstyle. Make a sincere compliment on this. You will immediately receive a tremendous feedback.
People will be drawn to such kindness and indifference. New customers and customers will come to you, and then they will bring their friends. And all thanks to simple attentiveness and politeness. It’s just that you remember the name of this particular person and his beloved dog.
4. Would you like to receive? Learn to give!
A truly golden rule of conduct is formulated in one of Carnegie’s best quotes: “Mentally put yourself in the place of another person in order to understand what he needs and not you. With the one who manages to do this, there will be the whole world, with the one who cannot, there will be no soul. ”
Are you hoping to get something from another person? Do not rush to voice your requirements. The principle “I wish, and you must” does not work. Think about what this person wants. And then try to offer it to him.
Does your child not want to put away toys? Why? But because it is boring, and the kid wants to have fun and play. Create a story about a superhero who saves the world from disorder and chaos. Make a suitable mask or costume. And let the “defender of humanity” save the earth from evil, and at the same time his room from scattered toys.
Do you want to get a place to trade in a prestigious trading house? Tell the landlord that you plan daily discounts on popular products, and you will hand out information leaflets to customers advertising not only their products, but also the trading house itself. Also report other ideas and promotional projects that are beneficial to him. As a result, you can easily get the desired area. In addition, they will magically end up in the most profitable and passable places.
Talk to people about what they want to achieve, telling how you can achieve this. This approach works real miracles in the field of effective communication.
5. Eight words that can change your destiny
Carnegie’s magical quote: “Our life is what our thoughts make it.”
Never scold yourself! Think of punishments for bad thoughts, such as squats. Caught yourself on the negative - 10 squats!
Think of the good. Your thoughts attract real events. Find something joyful in your life, even if it’s so small and insignificant. Hold on to it and feel the happiness that has filled your soul. Do it right now.
Want to be happy? Be!
Smile, looking at yourself in the mirror, as well as people on the street. A friendly person always inspires confidence. And the smile itself at the same time serves as a kind of signal of sympathy and favor.
Carnegie's most famous quotes
- "If you suddenly really want to remake someone, start with yourself."
- "Hold on as if you are already happy. And after a while you will definitely feel happy."
- "Rudeness kills love. Be polite with family as well as with strangers."
All this was said many decades ago, but relevant to this day. Be that as it may, no matter what the skeptics say about the life of Dale Carnegie, the aphorisms and quotes of this great connoisseur of human souls have helped many of his contemporaries and still help to achieve success in communication, become effective leaders and just live a happy, serene life. Isn't that the main thing?