A wife with a child left: how to return? It will take a lot of effort, but the result is worth it. To return the wife and child, money, gifts will not be required. You must have a great desire and a strong attachment to the family. A wife may allow you to see a child, but you want to be happy again with the three of you? Learn this all important aspects, "pitfalls" and remember the advice of psychologists in order to start life from scratch, this article will help.
Why did the wife leave with the baby? Possible and visible reasons
After the collapse of the family, you should not immediately think about how to return the wife with the child. You must go through the stage of your moral recovery, during which you can become aware of guilt, figure out the mistakes and understand the cause of the conflict. According to statistics, 70% of couples break up at the initiative of a woman who did not like some features of family life:
- bad habits: smoking, alcohol abuse, soft drugs;
- physical violence;
- early marriage;
- moral violence, conflicts and quarrels, disagreements;
- frequent domestic problems without a solution;
- Jealousy and distrust of the partner.
A woman is prone to quick conclusions and false decisions, perceives situations emotionally. Therefore, if you do not know how to return your beloved wife with a child, then ask yourself the question: "Am I able to change, not make past mistakes and again take responsibility for the family?"
Is it realistic to return my wife in this situation?
You appreciated the causes of the conflict and the mistakes made by both spouses. The next step is to find out if you should try to return your wife and children? To do this, refer to the statistics:
- In domestic violence, the chance of returning a wife is 18%. Spouse is depressed psychologically and physically, gradually lowers her self-esteem.
- If you changed once, then the chance of returning to your spouse is 45%. With repeated changes, lower the statistics by 15%. If there is a child, returning the ex-wife after a divorce or before it will be easier.
- Suppression gives a 13% chance. If the husband humiliated the woman, did not respect and married for the sake of some benefit, the question of how to return the ex-wife with the child will remain unanswered.
- A man is not independent - 28%. You can change by proving and showing your wife your self-discipline, perseverance.
Think about why you want your wife back? The reason may lie in the fear of being alone or losing a child.
And if you are not to blame for the divorce and care of your wife? What if she cheated, abused moral violence and bad habits? Think about whether you need such a wife? You can sue a child and create a new family.
Where to begin? Step 1. Understand Yourself
How to return a wife with a child if you love and do not want to destroy a family? This question first arises in a man if he does not want a breakup of relations. But before you take decisive action, you must understand yourself, understand what you want from your wife and family life.
Give the woman time to take a break from everyday problems, do not return your beloved instantly. If the spouse is guilty, then in the days spent in thought, she will be able to understand the mistake and herself will become the initiator of reconciliation.
Become independent. Set up your household chores, find a job and a favorite pastime. Stability and trust in a partner are some of the qualities that are appreciated by spouses.
Eliminate all the flaws, behavioral patterns and bad habits, because of which you are now considering how to return your wife and child.
Step 2. Think about your child’s attitude towards you.
To understand why the wife left with the child, evaluate your relationship with the baby. It is more difficult for the male sex to understand what is going on in the soul of a little man, unlike women, who by nature have a maternal instinct. If you want to know how you feel about your child, then mentally return to childhood and analyze the following points:
- How did you react to the prohibitions and quarrels of your parents? Perhaps emotionally (tears, screaming) or closed (silence, resentment). And also ask yourself: “Did I do it my own way or listened to the words of the elders?”
- Indications and humiliation from parents. Did your father or mother insult you, underestimate your self-esteem and say that nothing will work?
- The removal of accumulated negative emotions in the family. After a hard day's work, do you vent the anger at the children and wife?
- Did your father leave your family? If this happens, then it will be quite difficult for you to properly educate your son. After leaving, the wife rebuilds the child for herself and loses interest in education. This is especially bad for boys.
You are a full-fledged copy of the behavior of your parents and partially relate to the child, as they once were to you. How to return a wife with a child, if you love them? This is almost impossible if the connection with the baby is broken. To do this, analyze how he reacts to a meeting with you. Running, hugging and smiling or standing, timidly glancing? If you manage to overcome the emotional tightness of the child, then you will be able to position him to yourself to return the family.
The main mistakes made by a man after leaving his wife
Before proceeding with active actions, remember what cannot be done during reconciliation with your wife:
- Behave too docile. If you agree with your spouse about everything, then soon she will get tired of it. Do not be afraid to express your opinion if this does not lead to a big conflict. Find a middle ground, try to stick to it.
- Cold logic is your enemy. If the mistake was made by the wife and this is obvious, then the woman will understand. Do not give arguments and evidence, forget about the lectures. Better show a romantic mood.
- Give your beloved a lot of souvenirs. Pay alimony for a child, but love cannot be bought.
- Do not take care of yourself. Your appearance should be attractive and neat. Show that you can take care of yourself and your clothes.
- Do not listen to the advice of family people. A common mistake made by men, not knowing how to return a wife with a child. Family advice may be helpful, but the decision is yours. Listen and express your opinion.
Do not make such mistakes, and your chance of a successful return of your wife will be increased.
Step 3. Theoretical Tips
How to return a wife with a child? Psychologists recommend combining actions and thoughts, so first sort out the theoretical tips:
- Show your spouse that you feel bad too.
- Do not use the child to promote relationships.
- If the wife forbids you to communicate with the child immediately after leaving, wait a while. She is morally suppressed, and just doesn’t want to see you herself.
- Show your spouse that you are ready for a serious relationship, have become an independent and stable person. Changes should be noticeable.
- Think about what the wife lacked in marriage or before leaving.
Step 3. Practical advice
After the recovery period, proceed with the practical actions for the return of the wife and child. Follow the plan, you can deviate from it by 1 point if the wife manages to return faster:
- After 1-2 months, make an appointment with your wife. If you get a refusal, argue that you want to see the child. If you got a positive answer and your wife came with the baby, then the child is madly missing his father! You should not make hasty conclusions, but know: the wife understands how the child wants to go home, and she already thinks about returning.
- You can make a "forgivable" gift. Be sure to give it to both the child and the wife. Sorry, promise to reform.
- Help your wife. How to return a wife with a child? Offer to pick up the child from a kindergarten or school, take him to the rides. Do good deeds not when your wife asks you, but on your own, anticipating the situation.
- Show that you have begun to change. Remember that the wife did not love you, and correct the problem. If you earned little, then find a side job. If you are addicted to alcohol, eliminate the bad habit. When walking, you can inadvertently tell about this wife. Develop dialogue as you become interested.
- Take all the blame on yourself. If you have a child, then returning your ex-wife after a divorce is much easier. During the next dialogue on a walk with the baby, take all the blame for the conflict on yourself. Apologize, but don’t humiliate yourself. A woman should feel that you value her.
- Refresh relationships by revitalizing romance. Make an appointment in a one-on-one cafe. Visit the place of the first kiss, acquaintance or remember the most fun and kind moments of life together.
Realize all the desires and dreams of your beloved. How to make the evening unforgettable, you can understand for yourself, because you know your wife better.
Ready-made action template: what to do?
You can use the approximate list of actions that will help return the wife with both two children and one child:
- Go out for a walk with the child in the late afternoon. Take your kids to the park or other amusement rides. Get a toy or flowers for your wife, as if by accident.
- Be a peaceful person. Do not show aggression, but do not become too docile in the presence of a wife.
- Put your baby to bed and stay with your wife if she offers tea or dinner.
- Next, start the dialogue with the basic words: “How are you? What's new?" You can ask about the condition of the child. In the first such conversations, do not affect feelings and love. To get started, just get interested. Watch your voice and words. If the answer to your question is addressed, do not brag, but do not put pressure on pity. The option "Not bad, but getting tired" or "Normal. I hold on, though ... it's pretty hard. I didn’t even think that it was so difficult. ”
- Do not be imposed on your wife, start small. If a woman hints that you should go, then leave. Such a reaction can be long.
Pay attention to the mental health of the child and the atmosphere in which he is brought up.
After the wife returns
Do not make the previous mistakes that led to the divorce or departure of the wife from the family. Many women tolerate their husband’s attitude because they don’t want to deprive their children of their father. If the wife took the child and decided to leave, then there were good reasons for this.
If you feel that you are starting a big conflict again, discuss it in a more secluded place or visit a family psychologist.