Another's soul - darkness. This statement was voiced many years ago, but so far it is incredibly popular, because it is very true. Understanding the motives of another person’s behavior is difficult, and sometimes impossible. But if petty misconduct can be forgiven, then not all men imagine how to live after the betrayal of his wife.
Is treason a rash step?
It is foolish to believe that the woman who cheated just accidentally went to bed with another man. Accidents are never accidental. Why was the wife of a friend who was at a party with your missus able to come home, and your chosen one spent the night at the first person she met. To understand how to live after the betrayal of his wife, you need to find out if a random connection is accidental. A man is a creature that is able to ponder his every action, and any developed personality can assume the consequences of his actions. It is foolish to think that when intoxicated, a person does not know what he is doing. A drunk person will never do what she would not want to do in a sober state. Moral prejudices and internal prohibitions work for a person in any case, but only if they exist. Therefore, betrayal is never accidental. If a woman did not want to, she would not have taken such a stupid step. The lady knew perfectly well what would happen if her secret surfaced. Do not believe the tearful assurances that your chosen one did not know what she was doing. It will be pure lies.
Can betrayal be forgiven
Man is a strong personality who can bear many grievances. Many men forgave their wives, and for many years continued to live with them in a happy marriage. But also a large number of deceived husbands soon broke up, because they could not find the strength to survive the betrayal. How to live after the betrayal of his wife, everyone must decide for themselves. Each family is unique and there is no universal advice for everyone. If you love your missus and understand that without her life will lose its meaning, then take your beloved back and try to establish a relationship with her. But keep in mind that the tone before and the tone after the betrayal will always be different. If you understand that love in a relationship is long gone, and you live as a woman only out of habit, break up. It makes no sense to torment yourself with remorse that your wife is walking. Frankly admit that the split occurred a long time ago, and broken dishes are difficult to glue, and sometimes impossible.
Find the reason
Any consequence has a reason. And treason is no exception. Before deciding how to live after the betrayal of a wife, you should find out the motives of a woman's behavior. Think about why the other half decided on such a low deed? What did the woman lack in you? The most common cause of betrayal is a lack of attention on the part of the partner. If you head off to work, appear at home late and prefer to relax with friends over the weekend rather than spending time with your wife, it is not surprising that the lady found a replacement for you. The girl could change simply because she was bored with living with her husband. If a man plays computer games in the evenings or watches football and does not talk with the other half, then a woman can decide to have fun in a very perverse way. In search of new sensations, the lady will go to her lover.
Never think that only one of the partners is to blame for treason. If the second person was more attentive, courteous, affectionate and kinder, then the person who changed would not seek warmth and tenderness on the side.
Cheating on those who deserve it
Did the missus change you? Understand the reason for the woman’s act, and then accept it. In the moment it is difficult to believe that everything that happens in life is a necessary life experience. Regardless of whether a person believes in fate or not, he will receive lessons from the universe every day. Treason is one of the tests that will have to be accepted. Such an obstacle does not occur in the way of those people who are able to build normal relations. But selfish persons who do not know how to compromise often encounter cheating. If a person accepts the spouse’s mistake and can understand it, then in the future, he will not give life to such tests. But if a person cannot take the lesson of fate from the first try, then he will repeat it again. Be careful and discreet. And remember that any life experience is needed and important.
All make mistakes
There are no perfect people. Therefore, you should come to terms with the idea that everyone has the right to make mistakes. But, sometimes, the mistakes of loved ones hurt in the heart. How to live after the betrayal of his wife? Psychologist's advice will be like that. Accept the wife’s misconduct, and do not blame her for infidelity. Talk to the woman and say that two are guilty of treason. Explain that you understand the reason for her fault and accept it. And you really need to do this. Regardless of the decision that you make regarding the resumption of relations, you need to understand that a person makes all the mistakes by chance. Wisdom comes to a person over the years. It is necessary to step on a lot of rakes in order to understand the price of fidelity and devotion. Perhaps in the life of the girl there was no betrayal, and she does not know how the person who is cheated suffers. This does not mean that you need to change in response. This means that you need to convey to the girl the essence of your feelings, and hope that the lady will understand. If the girl remains impartial, then you can safely break off the relationship.
Sorry
How to live after the betrayal of his wife and save the family? The advice of the psychologist will be this: forgive your missus. You need to not only verbally forgive the girl, but also sincerely feel that you have no anger and resentment about her wrongdoing. Otherwise, sooner or later in your relationship, but there will be a split. Think about whether the chosen one is worthy of forgiveness. Have you come to the conclusion that you are worthy? Then every time negative thoughts arise in your head, drive them away. Accept the wife’s deed and understand that it’s not she alone who is to blame for her deeds. You also made efforts, pushing your spouse to infidelity. Accept the missus error, accept your mistakes, draw conclusions from them and move on. Do not go in cycles in a situation and do not rewind it in a head. It will not lead to anything good. Better focus on the positive that you get from communicating with your wife.
Let go of the past
Have you decided to forgive a woman? How to live after the betrayal of his wife? The advice of psychologists is always the same: let go of the past. The husband must forgive his missus and accept her as she is. After a stormy reunion, the relationship will quickly improve. But after a few months you will feel a sharp decline in feelings. Doubts and suspicions may creep into your soul. In no case do not express your thoughts to your wife. This will definitely destroy the marriage. After all, relationships are not killed by treason, but by what happens after it. A person who was able to sincerely forgive her missus will never in her life remind the girl of what happened. Moreover, a person will always have to control himself. And if with a sober mind, this is quite easy to do, then the situation can become much more serious at the time of quarrels. In a fit of rage, a person has poor control over his thoughts, and, as a result, words. Old grievances can come out. Under no circumstances, never in life can you blame a woman for treason. A person who was able to survive a difficult period, and was able to forgive his missus, will never raise the topic of treason. It is very painful to hear the accusations of old mistakes, for which the person has already been forgiven, and which she can not fix.
Pause the relationship
It’s not always possible to forgive a person right away. Sometimes it takes time for the feelings to calm down. The betrayal of a wife to her husband is a tragedy for a man. A person with low self-esteem will think that a woman does not take him seriously, since she was able to find another individual who was able to achieve her favor in a short period of time. A husband who has been cheated must for some time interrupt all contact with his wife. If a woman constantly imposes her society on a man, then the best way to be alone with your thoughts is to take a vacation and go to another city or another country. Do not tell anyone where you went. Then no one can distract you. During your seclusion, recover morally. Think about all the pleasant moments of the relationship, think about the shortcomings that your wife has. Weigh the pros and cons, and only then return home. When you return, voice your decision to your wife. If a woman is outraged that you left and did not inform her, you should not remind her of her misconduct. Say that you needed time to understand yourself and understand how to live on.
Correct your mistakes
Decided to forgive a woman? How to live on to a man after his wife’s betrayal? No matter how strange it sounds, you need to start changing yourself. Yes, you have been cheated, and you are the injured party. But if you do not reconsider your shortcomings, then cheating will be repeated. After finding out the reasons for the unfaithfulness of the spouse, try to give the wife what she was looking for on the side. In order to find out what the missus wants, you need to talk honestly with her. Give your wife a piece of paper and ask her to write your shortcomings and advantages on it. You should make a similar list about a woman. And from the next day, proceed to action. Take turns eliminating all the flaws written by the woman. In response, you should notice that a woman works on herself and tries to eradicate from her character that which you do not like. Such work will help strengthen the marriage and quickly survive the betrayal.
Go to a family psychologist
Is it possible to live after the betrayal of his wife? It is possible, a similar opinion is confirmed by many men who find themselves in a similar situation. If you cannot understand how to exist after a woman’s betrayal, sign up for a psychologist. An experienced specialist will help you understand your feelings and establish peace of mind. If a man has a desire to restore his family, then he needs to sign up for family psychotherapy. Together with the woman who has changed, the man will be aware of the problems that exist in the couple. Gradual work on yourself will help people get closer and restore lost trust. The psychologist must explain to the spouses that after the end of therapy, work on oneself should not end. If the couple does not solve the problems in time, then the family disorder will happen again.
Get into the position of a woman
In any situation that you do not like, you need to learn how to put yourself in the place of a person who causes irritation. How to live after the betrayal of his wife? The husband needs to think about how his missus lives. Only then can a man understand how hard it is for his wife. For example, such a situation is not uncommon. A child who is 16 years old, tries to distance himself from his parents, and is rarely at home. A husband who is experiencing a midlife crisis is trying to work harder to build a career. And the woman has nothing left. She is sitting alone at home. With friends, it often fails to get together. Women prefer family gatherings. The lady is bored and lonely. She cannot reach her husband, therefore she is looking for a lover who will help her cheerfully spend her free time.
Cool your ardor a little
How to live further after the betrayal of his wife? A man must forgive a woman, but at the same time, pretend that everything is fine, is not worth it. The girl must feel remorse, and she must understand that she had severely wounded a man who loved her. Therefore, a man should slightly cool his ardor to his missus. Even if you are madly in love with your wife, try to keep yourself in check. Temporarily do not buy flowers for a woman and do not give gifts. Spend time together, but be a little detached than usual. A woman will perceive such coldness as a kind of alienation, and she herself will make a lot of efforts to heal your crippled heart. But torture your spouse for a long time is not worth it. Otherwise, a woman might think that you forgave her only in words. Therefore, after a few months, you can resume the usual course of life.
Do not ask men for advice
How to live after the betrayal of his wife? The advice that friends will give you is worth listening to, but you should focus on your own feelings. Friends will discourage you from renewing your relationship. Treason is a shame for a man, and not everyone can bear such humiliation. But strong personalities know how to forgive.
How to live after the betrayal of his wife at 50? Try to accept your wife’s misconduct. Most likely, she wanted variety after a long family life. Eliminate routine from life. And don't tell anyone about your family drama. The fewer people will be initiated into your relationship, the stronger they will be.