The wedding ceremony has quite ancient roots, it dates back to the 9th – 10th centuries and has not only a beautiful content, but also carries a deep meaning. A wedding is a ceremony connecting a man and a woman in the face of God for eternal love and fidelity, turning marriage into a sacrament relating to spiritual being.
The essence of the wedding
In the modern world, unfortunately, many people incorrectly interpret the very essence of the sacrament and regard this church rite as a fashionable and beautiful event that can brighten up a solemn wedding day. Without even thinking about the fact that the wedding is not a simple formality. Only those people who believe in the eternity of marriage on earth and in heaven should take this step. And such a decision can only be made by mutual agreement, as a conscious and well-considered act. We should not forget that the rite refers to one of the seven sacraments, as a result of which the grace of the Holy Spirit is transmitted to man, and this happens in an invisible way.
Wedding Rules
If, nevertheless, the relationship in the couple has been tested by time, feelings are deep, and the desire to perform the ceremony is well balanced, then you should familiarize yourself with the conditions without which it is impossible to get married in the Orthodox Church. The rules are binding:
- The basis for the wedding is a marriage certificate.
- The main role in the family is given to the husband, who must love his wife selflessly. And the wife must obey her husband of her own free will.
It is the husband's responsibility to keep the family in touch with the church. Debunking is allowed only in the most emergency situations, for example, in case of betrayal of one of the spouses or in case of mental illness. By the way, the latter can also cause a refusal of a wedding.
In ancient times, there was such a custom when the young people petitioned the priest for a wedding, he announced this at a popular veche, and only after the lapse of time, if there were no people who could report the impossibility of marriage, a rite was performed.
The total number of weddings of a person throughout his life cannot exceed three times.
Only baptized young people and their witnesses are allowed to the ceremony, each must have a body cross.
If someone who is married does not know whether he is baptized or not, you must definitely discuss this issue with the priest. As a rule, a positive answer is possible with the consent of the young to give birth and raise children, following Orthodox traditions.
Age restrictions: a man must be at least 18 years old, and a woman at least 16.
A wedding is a primordially Christian rite, therefore people professing a different religion (Muslims, Jews, Buddhists, etc.), as well as atheists, are not allowed to it.
A wedding ban is imposed if the bride and groom are in kinship, even in the fourth generation. And it is undesirable to marry between godparents and godchildren.
If one of the newlyweds is married, marriage is prohibited.
But circumstances such as the pregnancy of a wife, or if the newlyweds do not have a parental blessing, are not a reason for refusing a wedding.
When can I have a wedding?
According to the Orthodox calendar, weddings can be held throughout the year, with the exception of days of large fasts - Rozhdestvensky (from November 28 to January 6), Great (seven weeks before Easter), Petrov Lent (from the second Monday after the Trinity until July 12), Uspensky ( from August 14 to August 27), Pancake week, on the eve of all major church holidays. Wedding ceremonies are held on Monday, Wednesday, Friday, and Sunday. But, according to popular beliefs, Wednesday and Friday are not suitable for the sacrament. And also it is better to avoid the wedding of the 13th.
But the happiest periods for marriage are the periods after the Intercession in the fall, from Epiphany to Pancake Week in winter, between Petrov and Assumption Lent in the summer, on Krasnaya Gorka in the spring.
Many couples want to get married on the day of the official registration of marriage, but this cannot be called correct. Priests, as a rule, discourage young people from such hasty acts. Best of all, when couples get married on their wedding anniversary or after the birth of children. The later this happens, the more conscious this action will be. The wedding year will be a memorable event that attests to the sincerity of feelings and confidence in family ties.
Wedding Preparation
Of particular importance is the process of preparation for such a ritual as a wedding in the Orthodox Church. Rules are also here.
The very first thing that needs to be done is to decide on the church and the priest who will conduct the ceremony. This is a fairly responsible task, because the choice must be made by the soul. Young people in the church should be comfortable and calm, only in this way the whole process will have really great significance. Whether it will be a small church or a magnificent cathedral, depends primarily on the wishes of the young people, absolutely the whole atmosphere of the holy place should harmoniously fit into not only the spiritual essence of the ceremony, but also meet the emotional state of the young couple who decided to bind their destiny forever.
It is also necessary to talk with the priest, discuss not only organizational issues, but also take a closer look at each other, find a common language - this is also very important for the ceremony. A lot of priests pay special attention to talking with the newlyweds, sometimes they can advise to postpone the procedure or wait a while, then the priest's advice should be heeded.
Also, importantly, not all priests have the right to conduct a wedding ceremony, for example, it is forbidden to do this with a monastic cut and under canonical prohibitions. Sometimes a ceremony at the request of a young couple can be performed by a clergyman from another church or cathedral, if, for example, he is their spiritual father.
Organizational moments of the ceremony
The priest must agree on the date and time for which the Orthodox wedding is scheduled. The rules of church life oblige this. Sometimes several couples can get married in a church at the same time, this nuance also needs to be discussed. It should be worried if several operators will conduct photo and video shooting at the wedding so that there is no confusion, and this does not spoil the whole rite.
A week before the wedding, young people should start fasting: do not eat meat, do not drink alcohol, do not smoke, refrain from marital proximity. Before the wedding, the newlyweds must attend a service, confess, and receive communion.
It is also necessary to worry in advance about buying the icons of the Savior and the Mother of God, which must be consecrated, wedding rings that must be given to the priest before the ceremony, candles, two white towels and four handkerchiefs. It should be noted that according to church canons, rings should be bought for the groom from gold, for the bride from silver. As a rule, the acquisition of all the necessary attributes rests with the witnesses.
The tradition of using icons in wedding ceremonies also has ancient historical roots. From ancient times, parents blessed their children with the use of holy icons: a son - Christ the Savior, a daughter - the Virgin, thus giving instruction on the true path.
It is customary to leave a reward for the wedding ceremony, you should also ask the priest about the money. If a couple does not have the financial ability to pay the full amount, you can tell about this. Sometimes the amount is not announced at all, and the priest offers to give alms to the church, in the amount that is provided for newlyweds.
Choosing an outfit for the bride
As for the bride’s wedding dress, which she will wear for a wedding in the Orthodox Church, the rules are as follows:
- the dress should not be very tight or short, but too lush and chic outfits will not work either;
- in no case should the shoulders, décolleté or arms above the elbows be bare;
- You can use a wrap that will cover the exposed parts of the body;
- the outfit should be white or another color of pale shades;
- the head must be covered, for this a scarf or veil is used;
- Do not use too bright makeup and rich aroma of perfume;
- instead of a wedding bouquet, the bride should have a wedding candle in her hands .
You should also take care of shoes in advance, shoes with a closed front in low heels are best suited, because the wedding ceremony lasts about an hour, the bride should feel comfortable throughout this time.
There is a very interesting belief. The bride's dress must be with a long train. According to popular legend, the longer the train is, the more time the young people will be together. If the train is not provided for in the dress, it can be attached only for the duration of the wedding.
Also, when the wedding takes place in the Orthodox Church, the rules apply to the appearance of all guests present. Women should be in dresses or skirts with their knees covered, and the neckline and hands should not be exposed, the head should be covered with a scarf or scarf. At the wedding ceremony, it is not necessary that all the guests of the wedding are present; these may be people who truly believe in the sacrament of the rite and sincerely relate to this process. To comply with the formalities, it is better not to attend such events, but to come only to a banquet.
Wedding ceremony
The wedding always begins only after the service. The rite consists of two stages: the first is the engagement, the wedding is the second stage. In the past, they were divided by time. After the betrothal, the couple could leave, if there were reasons for this, the wedding could take place only if the feelings were strong and sincere, because the husband and wife chose each other not only for earthly life, but forever. In the modern rite, both components of the ceremony take place on the same day.
Betrothal
Betrothal takes place at the entrance to the church. The bride stands on the left hand of the groom. The priest reads a prayer, after which he blesses the couple three times and gives them burning candles. Reads a prayer again and engages the young in rings. The rings are changed from the young man’s hand to the bride’s hand three times, as a result, the groom’s gold ring remains on the young’s hand, and her silver ring on the finger of the future husband. Only now can a couple call themselves bride and groom.
Wedding
The priest leads the couple into the temple and puts in front of the lectern on a white towel. A man and a woman are asked if they have come here of their own free will, if there are any obstacles to marriage. Witnesses take crowns in their hands and hold them over their heads at the bride and groom. It should be noted that this is not so easy to do, especially if the witnesses are short and the young are tall, and the ceremony is not less than forty minutes in the city churches, and if the ceremony is held in the monastery, then more than an hour. Therefore, it is advisable to choose higher witnesses. After the prayers they read, the young are brought out a cup of wine, which they should drink three times as a symbol of the fact that from this moment everything in a pair will be divided equally - both happiness and bitterness.
The bride should be warned: while drinking from a cup of wine, a situation may arise when the veil is very close to the candle and ignition occurs. To prevent this from happening, it is advisable to worry in advance about the length of the veil, which should not be too large.
Hands of the bride and groom are tied with a white towel and circled around the lectern three times. At this time, the church choir sings. The father brings the couple to the royal gates of the altar and reads edification of eternal life together. After the wedding, all guests begin to congratulate the young, and the bell rings, signifying the birth of a young family.
If young people have a desire to capture a wedding for a long memory, photo and video shooting can be carried out with the permission of the priest. It is most correct to agree on exactly where the operator should be, how he should better stand or move. Typically, in churches and cathedrals there is enough specific lighting, therefore, in order for the quality of shooting to not subsequently upset, it is advisable to turn to a good specialist. There are times when shooting is strictly prohibited, then, so that the memorable event remains in the family archives, you can take photos in the background of the cathedral or temple.
The wedding to the kingdom
There is another ancient custom that should be mentioned in order to bring some historical clarity - the wedding to the kingdom. This ceremony was carried out during the coronation ceremony of the monarchs, and Ivan the Terrible began it first. The crown, which was used in this case, went down in history under the name well-known - the Monomakh hat. Mandatory attributes of the action were barmas, orb and scepter. And the process itself had a sacred content, the main essence of which was the sacrament of anointing. But this ceremony has nothing to do with marriage.