From ancient times, the ceremony of matchmaking was considered a kind of "purchase" of the bride. This ceremony was held in high esteem by many nations and was held in several stages. In the article we will consider who the matchmakers are, what is the meaning of the words “matchmaker”, “matchmaker” and the procedure for conducting matchmaking.
Matchmaking: the purpose of the rite
A wedding is an important event in the life of any person. A traditional marriage is preceded by an equally important rite of matchmaking. Unfortunately, in the modern world there is so little room for tradition. But it is in them that the soul of the people, their mentality is reflected.
In the old days, even strangers to the bride could send matchmakers, parents, in turn, could persuade her to marry if the groom, in their opinion, approached his daughter. Therefore, during the matchmaking, the fate of the girl was practically decided. Now the ceremony of matchmaking is formal in nature, it is held either to introduce parents or to discuss the details of the upcoming wedding. It even happens that they completely refuse this, especially if the future husband and wife organize the wedding themselves.
Matchmaking is the original tradition of the Slavs. The terms “matchmaker”, “matchmaker”, “matchmaker”
Before finding out who the matchmaker and matchmaker are, let's recall who the matchmaker is. Many do not remember what the difference between “matchmaker” and “matchmaker” is. It’s worth starting with an explanation of these concepts.
A matchmaker (if it is a woman) is a person who has been professionally engaged in the arrangement of marriage. Sometimes they not only helped to embrace the bride, but also selected candidates.
Svatya is the mother of one of the spouses in relation to the mother of the other.
But the meaning of the word “matchmaker” is a little more complicated. Swat is both a “summary” and a relative of one of the spouses in relation to the relatives of the other. Such an appeal of the parents of the newlyweds to each other is a sign of respect and disposition. Etymologically, the word "matchmakers" and the word "their own" have one basis. And in the tradition of the Slavic peoples, such an appeal is a symbol of the merger of the two peoples.
Preparing for matchmaking
When the groom's parents found out that their son was going to marry, they tried to find out as much as possible about his chosen one. When making inquiries, they were interested not only in the reputation of the girl herself, but also in her relatives. Learned about the financial situation of the family. It has long been believed that the bride is taken not for an individual guy, but for the whole family. And this means that she must become a worthy member of the family. After this, matchmakers were sent - they are a kind of intermediaries between two families. The girl’s family, in turn, was preparing a dowry - property with which the young wife would go to her husband’s house. It could be bedding, shirts, household items, jewelry. It accumulated from the birth of the girl and was her property even after marriage. If we were talking about merchant families, then the dowry also included money. The nobles often attached to the maiden and real estate.
Who acted as matchmakers
The matchmakers' mission was honorable and very important. Matchmakers are the people who negotiated. This had to be done delicately. Direct speech was avoided, all statements were in the form of allegories. Parents of the bride could be against marriage. In this case, the matchmakers needed to make good arguments in favor of the groom, but not to persuade - this was considered a bad omen.
In ancient times, elders were sent - wise and respected people. In some places priests wooed. But often the delegation included the groom’s parents, godfather, professional matchmaker or matchmaker (men in Russia were more likely to marry, and women played this role in Ukraine and Belarus), other relatives could also participate. All participants in the procession were supposed to be family people. And their marriage is strong and happy.
Signs accompanying the ceremony of matchmaking
Now you know who the matchmakers are. There are a lot of signs associated with matchmaking, here are some of them:
- Thursday was considered the most successful day. But on Wednesday and Friday it was not accepted to get married. The reason is that these days are fasting (on Wednesday Judas sold Christ, and on Friday there was a crucifixion). If you look rationally, then these days there is simply nothing to treat those who came. And the ethical side was of great importance to our ancestors;
- went on a match in the evening. In order to avoid the evil eye. There is a more rational explanation: if the matchmakers want to keep it secret, for example, in case of refusal, there are fewer people in the evening, therefore, there is less chance of being noticed;
- before leaving the house, the matchmaker puts her hands on the stove. Such an action was to guarantee a successful outcome of matchmaking;
- on the way to the bride’s house, the matchmakers were forbidden to talk;
- the only one who brought luck was considered a damsel carrying clean water;
- it was necessary to close the doors to the bolt as soon as the matchmakers entered the house. This was done in order to avoid uninvited guests;
- Having entered the house, the matchmaker or the father of the groom three times tapped the threshold with his left heel. The words were said: "They are silent (it was said about the ancestors - the guardians of the clan), and you are silent, do not speak words against";
- they did not take off the caps of the matchmaker until they were invited to the table;
- one of the matchmakers had to manage to steal a spoon from the bride's parents. This provided the future husband with leadership in the family. And the wife should have been faithful and obedient. Three months after the wedding, the spoon had to be secretly returned;
- if the girl is being married for the first time, it was advisable to cover the tracks, saying: “A hundred suitors will follow me”;
- You can only get married until the end of April. Matchmaking and weddings in May are a bad omen. This promises newlyweds a family life filled with scandals;
- if the parents of the bride and matchmakers agreed, then after the guests left, the young mother tied the poker and the grip.
The rite of matchmaking
Having learned who the matchmakers are, let us begin to consider the ritual of the matchmaking itself. Usually matchmakers were sent several times. At the first meeting, it was customary to refuse, even if the bride's family agreed to the marriage. It was considered bad form to give the girl the first time. In addition, the postponement made it possible to learn more about the relatives of the groom, if before this the family had not been acquainted. It was also believed that after the first groom you can expect the next, more profitable. The first matchmaking was formal. Parents of the groom could not take part in it.
When they met the matchmakers for the second time, it was customary to set a rich table. Candles were lit in the house; lamps were placed near the icons. Be sure to attend the parents of the groom, and sometimes he himself. If the bride was present at the matchmaking, then she was imprisoned separately from the alleged husband. Negotiations were conducted with the girl’s father. The girls did not ask for an opinion. It was believed that such questions should be decided by parents wise by life experience. It happened differently, it depended on the lifestyle of an individual family.
If the matchmakers received a positive answer, preparations for the wedding immediately began.
The date of marriage was chosen. Families discussed how each side will contribute to the organization of the long-awaited event. They decided the question of redemption. It could be clothes, a valuable thing or money. In this situation, it was customary to bargain.
When everything was decided, the bride's relatives lit a candle and, together with representatives of the young, held a service. So an agreement on an alliance was held together.