Many young mothers prefer to find a nanny for the baby, to give it to kindergarten or to the care of grandparents in order to quickly go to work. Indeed, not all use the full three years of leave that are provided to a woman to care for a child. But not always the desire to quickly start working is due to material or other objective reasons.
Most often, young mothers want to change the situation and bring something new to their life. Just get tired over time from (it seems) endless diapers, vests, diapers and walks. For some women, caring for a child turns into prolonged stress that destroys relationships and their entire lives. So how to deal with depression on maternity leave?
Comment by a family psychologist
Depression in moms on maternity leave is not a myth, but a reality. To varying degrees, up to 80% of women experience apathy, dissatisfaction with themselves or life in general, irritability, dissatisfaction, and other unpleasant emotional phenomena. For all this is manifested in different ways.
Some young mothers easily experience emotional upheaval after the birth of a baby. And one cannot do without changes in the psyche, because the birth of a new member of the family is not only immense joy, but also global change, and a huge responsibility. Other women begin to delve into themselves, look for other reasons for sadness and eventually become isolated.
Depression on maternity leave is a phenomenon not only due to emotional, but also to physical factors. In the first 24-48 hours after birth, the level of estrogen and progesterone in the body drops sharply to a level lower than before conception. As a result, depression may develop, which is due to the same as PMS.
Sometimes the stability of the emotional state is undermined due to problems with the thyroid gland or a lack of vitamin B. In the postpartum period, as a result of lack of sleep and loss of strength, a tendency to exaggerate problems may appear. Some women do despair.
It is important to remember that if postpartum depression is not detected and treated in time, it can develop into a chronic problem and even prevent the mother from becoming attached to her child. In this regard, some mothers may not pay attention to the baby or even raise a hand on her when they lose their temper. All this adversely affects the usefulness and timeliness of the child’s physical and emotional development.
Depression in sociable women
Especially emotional and sensitive women, by their nature, are usually open and sociable. Such mothers begin to feel anxiety and apathy if they cannot fully build emotional relationships with people. Forced isolation and lack of communication in the decree cause depression in such women. The emotional range of sociable women is too large to focus on a husband and a small child, and because of restrictions, fears, tearfulness, anxiety, a feeling of dissatisfaction with oneself, panic attacks appear.
How to deal with depression on maternity leave to active extroverts? Psychologists recommend women with such a temperament to do home decorating and interior changes to quickly improve their condition. You can try yourself in photography or painting. Communication and new acquaintances with the same mothers today are available via the Internet. Strongly unsuitable advice that can only further lock up a woman alone and to herself (for example, meditation).
A woman can maximize her activities and sociability in the field of volunteer work, but with a child in her arms it is difficult. Although it is in such areas that the emotional range of a young mother will be fully involved in empathy and sympathy. You can find a community that engages in this kind of activity and take an active part. For example, at the city mum forum you can organize a collection of things for a local shelter or orphanage.
If tortured routine and monotony
For active and purposeful women, careerists who know how to achieve their goals, novelty is an integral part of a fulfilling life. Often such personalities can be seen in sports or business, among them there are technologists and engineers. Their area of interest is career, competitiveness and competition, technical innovation.
The life of a young mother changes dramatically with the departure on maternity leave. But the feeling of apathy, sadness and anxiety that arise from time to time, can not be called depression. Negative emotional states are the result of dissatisfaction and a desire for novelty. Such active and active women do not tolerate routine.
How to deal with depression on maternity leave? To improve your condition, you can rearrange the house, change your appearance, expand the “geography” of walking with your baby (it’s more convenient to use slings or a kangaroo rather than classic strollers), actively play sports at home or start attending a gym.
There are widespread tips for knitting or embroidery, as well as other types of needlework. But such advice is not for those who are tired of monotony. Such activities will only aggravate the depression of a careerist who is forced to sit at home with her child (even if she is her own and her beloved one).
If there is depression on maternity leave, what should I do? Women who are tired of the monotony are often advised to start a small Internet business or register as an entrepreneur. You can even work from home. This is useful both for the financial situation of the family, and for the normal emotional state of the mother, who had been busy with her career all her life before the birth of the baby.
Depression in those who do not feel like a mother
A special condition after childbirth is in women who feel equal to a man. In ancient times, the fairer sex with such a temperament accompanied men in war and hunting. Today, these women may have difficulty conceiving and giving birth independently, and when they go on maternity leave, they may encounter psychological difficulties. Such a mother determines her depression because she does not form the notorious maternal instinct.
All this does not mean that it will not be possible to safely raise and raise a child. It may seem strange, but it is women with such a cast of character that are realizing themselves well in the profession of educator. Relationships with one's own child are built not on the basis of maternal instinct, but on a special emotional connection. This becomes possible when the baby begins to recognize the mother and respond to her.
A woman with such a temperament needs to communicate, so you should not be completely confined to the family and the household. Successful ways of social realization - feasible assistance to volunteer centers, active participation in the lives of relatives. For most women, realization in the role of mother and wife is primary, but for the types listed here it is social realization that is needed.
Depression among seekers of the meaning of life
There is a type of women whose natural needs are concentration and solitude. Becoming a mother, they with sadness and apathy begin to look for the answer to the question: “Is the real meaning in procreation? When a child grows up, will his mother be needed only to pay for food and continue to care for him? ” Increases the depressive state of the inability to be alone with yourself. More often than not, women with such a temperament need the qualified help of a psychologist.
Why does apathy and dissatisfaction with life appear
Depression in maternity leave appears due to a combination of reasons. Both physical aspects and purely emotional matters. In the first months after the birth of the baby, fatigue and constant lack of sleep are most pronounced. From here appear alienation, apathy and irritability. In this case (if there are no other problems, and the reason, most likely, is tiredness), you need to devote more time to rest and realize that in a month and a half everything will begin to change.
In addition, young mothers are forced to stay in a confined space almost all the time. Lack of diversity causes irritability, tearfulness, dissatisfaction with life and other problems. Such causes may be caused by maternity depression. Is the child a year old or a little more, but no more strength? This is just tiredness from routine.
It is important here to expand the "horizons": with a child (even a small one) you can go on a visit, explore new walking routes and do some shopping. For ease of movement (especially if there is no own car), it is better to purchase a convenient sling or kangaroo. Today there are models that are suitable even for newborns.
After childbirth, the figure of a woman noticeably changes. The kilograms gained during pregnancy do not go to discharge. Changes are noticeable not only to the youngest mother, but also to her husband. Hence the irritability and lack of attention from the second half. But there is a way. It is necessary to establish nutrition and exercise (at least at home). During pregnancy, you also need to try not to gain extra pounds in order to quickly return to normal after childbirth.
Can be pronounced in primiparous "bad mom's syndrome." It seems that everything is falling out of hand, the child is constantly missing something, there is a fear of not being able to catch something or to lose sight of it, to make everything wrong. In this case, you need to find a more experienced girlfriend who you can turn to for advice. You can listen to your mom or other woman who has a similar experience. Support and advice will help to cope with the new role painlessly for the emotional state.
Symptoms of Depression and Burnout
Depression in women on maternity leave is burnout, irritability and nervousness, fears and dissatisfaction with life. This is characteristic of all professionals working in the social sphere and not only. And mom is quite a profession. You can pay attention to the following symptoms of emotional burnout and depression in the decree: reduced emotional background, drowsiness, weakness, increased nervousness and irritability, indifference to what is happening around and apathy, feeling like a bad mother, constant lack of time. To this is often added chronic fatigue syndrome and possible physical health problems.
How to get rid of depression on maternity leave
What can be done on maternity leave to distract from disturbing thoughts? As a rule, in most cases, it is enough for young mothers to find something to their liking in order to normalize their emotional state. If the type of work activity allows, you can take part of the affairs to the house. It turns out that there is a lesson, and income.
You might think what you like to do. This can be embroidery or knitting and other female needlework, maintaining your own blog, or even designing models. But you need to engage in a hobby without prejudice to communication with loved ones and the daily routine of the baby.
How to get out of depression? In the decree, you can increase the level of your knowledge. This is suitable for purposeful women and careerists, for whom all life is rivalry. You can enroll in short courses of manicure or makeup, learn how to build up nails, read special literature or learn languages.
Rest is necessary anyway
How not to get depressed on maternity leave? We must not forget about the rest. It is advisable for a young mother to devote time to daytime sleep. This is a great vacation for the body. Before going to bed, you can take a relaxing bath, in which it is recommended to add medicinal salts and scented foam. It improves the mood of the body tone, and physical exercises will help to quickly return to shape after childbirth.
Reading books and magazines about maternity or professional activities is also useful. You can pay attention to fiction, which will help you immerse yourself in a fictional world. Communication with acquaintances, friends and relatives is necessary. In the first days after discharge from the hospital, there will be no time for this, but then communication is simply necessary.
Walking and entertainment without children
A prerequisite is walking without children. You need to try to get out of the house at least two hours a week. This is not a distance from your own child, but a reasonable attitude to your psyche. Time spent without a baby should be as different as possible from everyday life. You can meet friends, go on a date with your husband or visit a beauty salon.
General recommendations for young mothers
How to get rid of depression on maternity leave? Everything should be tried to be positive. Even everyday personal care, baby care and household chores can be made more interesting. It’s enough to buy flavored bath foam, bright sponges for home care, beautiful children's things and generally give preference to something unusual. When buying clothes, it is also better to prefer bright colors, because psychologists have long proved their ability to positively influence mood.
It is worth learning to accept any help. It is necessary to forget disagreements and long-standing grievances, to give others the opportunity to participate in caring for a child and to reject the desire to be independent in everything. The free minutes do not need to be rushed to fill up with everyday chores - this is time to relax, you can treat yourself to some sweetness (but only in moderation) or take a bath.
Drug correction methods
If signs of depression appear on maternity leave, what should I do? If the condition is unstable, it is best to consult a specialist. For severe problems, sedatives or antidepressants are prescribed. Treatment is selected individually. Means depend on the condition of the woman, the presence of concomitant symptoms, the feeding regimen (breast or artificial).
How a husband can help: tips for a partner
Depression on maternity leave is not a whim or a whim, but a very real problem. That is why the partner should pay attention to the state of his wife. Part of the household chores is better to take on, you need to try to compliment your spouse more often and not insist on intimacy. If a woman is morally exhausted, then sex for her will only worsen the situation. It is necessary to help the wife in a benevolent manner if she does not succeed. You can try to “stir” your spouse with pleasant impressions: a gift or a good pastime.