They write poems about friendship, make up legends, and tell stories. About this feeling is said, sung and written a little less than about love. It accompanies a person throughout his entire conscious life. Friendship is what every mentally healthy person strives for. However, not everyone will immediately give her a definition. Therefore, now we will consider this concept in more detail and find out what can be called true friendship.
The origins of the word
Let's start with the etymology. In other words, we learn how the word "friendship" appeared in Russian. It has taken root with us for a long time - since the 11th century. And initially it belonged to a comrade, to a partner. So from the very beginning, friendship is a feeling of security and trust in relation to another person.
The etymology of the English word, which emphasizes another important facet of such a union, is also interesting in this respect. In English, the word friend has a common root with the old English word freo (free, free). Unlike blood or marriage ties, and even unlike political unions, to which one could have been forced to, a friendship is an exclusively voluntary union. This is one of the reasons why he was so highly regarded at all times and in all nations.
Definition of a concept
Encyclopedias agree that friendship is a type of personal relationship between two or more individuals, which is based on mutual sympathy and respect. Often it is strengthened by common hobbies and interests. Must be present emotional attachment and willingness to mutual assistance. An integral ingredient of friendship is selflessness.
What is friendship
In order to build strong friendships, you must be prepared for a certain responsibility - caring for a friend should be a welcome duty. She does not burden or bother.
It is important to understand that in order to find a friend, you must be a friend yourself. Even love is one-sided and unrequited. Friendship necessarily implies reciprocity.
Another indispensable attribute of friendship is devotion. Recall the origin of the word - a friend was entrusted with life, he had to cover in battle from enemies. Nothing affects friendship so negatively as betrayal or dishonesty. It is worth recognizing that even in the case of betrayal - this is not the final sentence. Taking into account the circumstances (not always betrayal and meanness go hand in hand, sometimes there is ordinary human weakness) a true friend can forgive. However, this offense will not pass without a trace.
Examples from life or even literature help to define the word “friendship”. After all, fictional characters can also teach us a lot.
What is friendship: worthy examples
The first thing that comes to mind almost automatically when friendship is mentioned is the famous work of Alexander Dumas “The Three Musketeers”. And this is a very interesting example. Note that the heroes do not scream at every corner about their friendly sympathies. They do not solemnly swear fidelity to each other to death. But they behave in such a way that there is no doubt about it. Their relationship is completely disinterested. The essence of friendship is visible in their actions. The fact is that everyone without extra words is ready to give his life for what is dear to a friend.
Another example from classical literature is Sherlock Holmes and John Watson. In their relationship there are all the ingredients from the recipe for true friendship. John admires the brilliant detective, and Sherlock sincerely respects his friend. They are pleased with each other's company, and they find a joint hobby - the investigation of crimes. Despite the fact that their contribution to the cause is very different, they feel that they are participating in it together.
Friendship is vulnerable
But friendship does not always withstand the trials that fall to its lot. The cornerstone conflict of the Star Wars universe is the transition of the protagonist Anakin Skywalker from the side of the good and the good to the side of the dark and the bad. Among other things, there was a meeting (or rather a battle) with a friend with whom Anakin had been inseparable for the past few years. Friendship with Obi Wan Kenobi was among what Anakin had to sacrifice when moving to the dark side. Despite the fact that the relations between these men were strong, and their friendship is undoubtedly an example of sincere feelings, the end came to her at one moment.
In the X-Men film universe, two friends — Charles Xavier and Eric Lensherr — also go through several stages of the relationship. And their friendship, which began and strengthened by all the rules, also does not experience moral dilemmas. However, even finding themselves on opposite sides of the barricades, they did not hate each other, but continued to respect even the current enemy. And these are also consequences of friendship. Even friendship is in the past.
The impact of social networks on friendships
In modern society, another new definition for the word "friend" has appeared. In social networks such as Facebook, VKontakte and Odnoklassniki there is a quantitative account of “friends”. A synonym for the word “friendship” in this context is more like an ordinary “contact”. But in social activity, this indicator is very important for many. It measures its own popularity.
With the growing popularity of social networks and the possibility of instant messaging immediately with a large number of people, the illusion of friendship has appeared. However, it turns out that the quality and strength of such a relationship leaves much to be desired. Building a strong friendship without personal communication is still very difficult. It’s not enough to just be in touch. It is necessary to show love, sympathy and patience towards a friend. Only then will friendship really blossom.
How to be a good friend yourself
The older a person, the more serious the meaning of the word “friendship” becomes for him. For a child, a friend is just a friend in games. But with age, you expect much more from friendship. What is changing? With a friend, a person just has a good time, and a friend shares his values ​​and view of the world. How to be a good friend yourself?
First, you have to be a good listener. And often this means much more than just listening. One must sincerely be interested in what a friend lives in, what worries him. Perhaps there will be cases when it is necessary not only to listen, but also to ask about disturbing thoughts. You can’t be indifferent and take the position "wants to - he will tell."
Secondly, it is important to understand that a friend will be wrong. He can offend. Friendship is impossible without forgiveness. And it is advisable to forgive quickly and from the heart. Then the figurative “minor scratch” on the relationship does not fester and does not turn into an ulcer, which over time can even destroy friendship.
Thirdly, you can not enslave a friend. Man does not become property. He is not obliged to limit his communication to any one. Just a true friend, when needed, will always be there.
Tell me who is your friend
Friends are important to choose wisely. When meeting a person, try to watch how he behaves with others. Do not be fooled, if someone is harsh towards others, mocking, does not show patience, likes to make criticisms, then he will remain the same. It is only in melodramas that it happens that a hero with all is harsh and rude, and with one person - he is white and fluffy.
Also, do not underestimate the influence of friends. Gradually, the manner of communication, attitudes and value system of friends becomes common. Therefore, choosing a good friend is a kind of contribution to your own future. However, one must remember that a good friend is not a synonym for a “profitable friend”. On mercantility you will not go far. You should not limit your choice exclusively to those who are popular or immediately disposed to themselves. If you develop the habit of thinking about others, then friends will certainly appear.
To have real friends, just wanting it, waiting and reading books about friendship is not enough. Learning to be friends - how to learn to ride a bicycle. It is not enough to see and know the theory. One must constantly practice while being prepared for falls. In relationships, it is also important to apply knowledge and not give up on failures. And then good results will not keep you waiting.