In this article, a selection of the funniest jokes will be presented to your attention. Some of them are completely new, and some have already passed the long test of time. One way or another, all of them were selected as a result of a thorough study of the press. Therefore, each of them deserves the attention of readers.
Great composer
The list of the funniest jokes, of course, should include at least one about Chapaev.
Petka comes to Vasily Ivanovich, and he sits and writes something down quickly on a piece of paper. A Red Army soldier asks: “Vasily Ivanovich, what do you write there?” Or is it a military secret? ”
Chapaev, not looking up from his occupation and not looking up, said: "I am writing an opera." A surprised machine gunner asks his commander: “Will something be said about me there?” Chapaev answers again, continuing to write: “Of course, Petka! And about you will be here! Oper said to send a report about everyone. "
Cleanliness and tidiness
Vasily Ivanovich asks Petka: “Did you happen to see my socks? I can’t find them for the second day already. ” The Red Armyman replies: “And what to look for them? There they are standing under the bed. ”
The previous example of folk humor in some ratings is called the funniest joke in the world.
Afterlife
Among the funniest jokes you can find many that are dedicated to music.
The singer dies, who performed only pop songs. The apostle Peter asks: "Well, my daughter, tell me what you did in earthly life?"
She replies that she is a musician. The elder says: “Then you are sure to hell! Where John Lennon, Jim Morrison, Janice Joplin and others suffer. ”
The singer was saddened and was already preparing to go to the underworld. But here the apostle Peter says: “Sing to me, my daughter, something goodbye!” She sang a terrible song in a disgusting voice. The apostle says: “So what kind of musician are you? Come to heaven. ”
In this collection of the funniest jokes, there is even one copy dedicated to the sun of Russian poetry, Alexander Sergeyevich Pushkin.
Deaf phone
Alexander Sergeyevich with his wife walks along Nevsky Prospect. The lady dropped her umbrella. Pushkin lifted it with an easy motion and handed it to her. After that, they boarded the crew and left. One eyewitness of this event tells his friend what happened: “Yesterday I saw Pushkin with Natalia Goncharova. She stumbled, fell and broke her leg. " A person who heard this story transfers it to another: “They say that yesterday Pushkin and his wife strolled drunk along the Nevsky insole, fell into the mud, smeared like pigs ...”.
Ninety-ninth person tells the hundredth: “There are rumors that yesterday Gogol and Belinsky fought on Nevsky Prospekt.”
True aryan
Stirlitz shot Mueller in the head. The German, with a little brain, realized that the bullet was explosive.
A man wakes up in a detoxification center, sees the bars on the windows, realizes that he is held captive and decides: “If the Germans come, I will say that I am the Standartenfuhrer Stirlitz. If I ended up with the Russians, I will introduce myself as Major Isaev. ”
A detox worker comes in and says: “Well, you got drunk yesterday, Comrade Tikhonov! Shame on you! And also a national artist! ”
Good company
On a desert island were Russian, French and American. All three went fishing to avoid starvation. They stayed for half a day - no result. Suddenly one of them caught a goldfish. She spoke in a human voice and offered to fulfill each of them two wishes, if they let her go free. The American said: "Please give me a million dollars and send home to my wife."
The Frenchman asked for a million euros and also to transfer it to his homeland.
And the Russian says: “Oh, the company was good! Bring me a bottle of vodka and those two back. ”
And finally, the funniest joke for all ages.
Balloonist
Sitting on the pipe raven and Cheburashka. The bird says: "Flew further!".
Cheburashka answers her: “Wait, let your ears rest!”.