The funniest jokes about school

The golden time of any person is the time to study at school. This is meeting new people, studying the world around us, and preparing for a future adult life. Therefore, it is not surprising that various jokes about school, students and teachers appeared.

School - second home

Funny jokes about school, jokes do not appear by chance. After all, each class has its own “Vovochka”, its own “fat trust” and “nerd”. The dissimilarity to others makes them an object of ridicule from other children. A teacher, similar to a scientist, with glasses and a folder under his arm, also becomes an object for jokes. Let's consider in more detail what are the funniest jokes about school.

Children's draws

In each class there is sure to be someone who likes to play a trick on his classmates or teachers. There are even such films that describe very funny jokes about school. Drawings consist of putting buttons on the chair of a teacher or other student, smearing the board with soap, serving a bottle of soda water for some classmate, shaking it well in advance, and so on. In the first case, for some it will be very funny, but for someone not very. In the second case, the teacher will not be able to write anything on the blackboard, in the third - a large soda wave will directly cover someone. Such a joke is very popular when students tell the teacher that his whole back is white. A teacher who knows how to accept such humor, of course, will laugh it off himself. Well, if he is not a fan of such pranks, then schoolchildren may fall.

Short funny jokes about school

Jokes can be either long or short. For example, one short expression can greatly amuse listeners (readers). Here is some of them:

1. A rubber ball was still flying out of the director's office window, meanwhile the children were already hiding.
2. The school year is like a pregnancy: nine months long, and toxicosis begins already in the second week.
3. Studying at school is a sentence to an eleven-year regime without the right to prematurely go free. Overseers are the principal and teachers.
4. A student comes from school and joyfully shouts to his mother: “Mom! Today you are lucky - we were asked only reading. "
5. The teacher told her parents to cut their bangs to her son, otherwise she does not know him by sight.
6. School meeting - admission is free, but exit is allowed only for a certain amount.
7. Homework done. Mother hoarse, son roars, and neighbors learned the multiplication table.
8. Due to the lack of books on anatomy, the Minister of Education approved the hole in the wall of the bathhouse as a subject for its study.

Little Johnny is the main protagonist of jokes about school

Anyone knows who Vovochka is. This is a typical schoolboy who does not perform classes, does not listen to adults, a badass, a lazy dog ​​and a two-man. Along with this, he is always ready for witty answers to the questions of the teacher. Such a character in funny jokes about a school for children is very necessary. Thanks to him, children begin to understand how not to be. That is, such jokes about school are instructive.

1. The teacher asks Vovochka why he was late. The answer was shocking. The boy said that he was attacked and his notebooks with homework were stolen.
2. To the question about what five years of his life Vovochka considers the happiest, the answer was received: studying in first grade.
3. I got Vovka deuce. Father went to figure out why. The teacher says that the boy himself did not, but wrote off from a neighbor at the desk. Indeed, we checked both notebooks. Both answered the first question correctly, the second - both incorrectly. Father is outraged that this is entirely possible. The teacher showed the third question, to which the girl replied that she did not know. And Little Johnny wrote: "Me too."

Jokes cheer up

In everyday life there are too many fussy days, various problems. Therefore, it is not surprising that people are drawn to jokes, humorous programs. Subjects can be different. But it is jokes about school, short or long, that are perceived with warmth and nostalgia for school life. Every adult has his own school day memories.

In addition to the usual jokes, there are jokes about the school in the form of sketches. They will lighten the mood, allow you to relax and soul and body. Let's consider some of them:

1. One student tells another that he does not believe that the earth is round. The explanation is simple: otherwise the sea would have completely splashed.
2. At a lesson from the outside world, the teacher asks to explain why it snows in winter and not in summer. One of the students says: “If it snowed in the summer, it would melt.”
3. A Russian teacher asks the children: I work, you work, she works - what time is it? “Heavy” - one of the guys answers.
4. A second grader comes home. Mother takes his diary for verification. There she discovers a "deuce." It is crossed out and corrected to the Quartet. Mother begins to scold the schoolboy. And he calmly replies: "The teacher told us that we can, if desired, correct a bad grade to a good one."
5. The American delegation came to a Russian school to exchange experiences. One of them asks: “Do children use computers at school?” “Of course,” the teacher answers. Everyone comes into the office. There are six computers on the windowsill. The teacher gives the assignment to Petrov: “Petrov, take two computers and put them on the table. How many computers are left on the windowsill now? ”

Exams are a special topic.

Exams are the time when the fate of students is decided. Therefore, it is not surprising that jokes also appear about this period. Especially a lot of interesting sayings about the Unified State Exam (USE). The following selection about him:

1. One student who came out with the Unified State Examination asks another: “Could you answer all the questions?” He replies that no. “What are you hoping for then?” The second replied: "For chronic flat feet or poor eyesight."
2. Some of the renters suggested that in the exam there should be such points as in the program "Become a Millionaire": help from the audience, calling a friend or 50 to 50. In extreme cases, the opportunity to pick up a certificate.
3. About those who have no education, we can now say that he is a "victim of the exam."
4. After a good passing of the Unified State Exam, some need to be issued an Atistat on Contemporary Abrazavaniya.
5. Babai used to scare children, now from the very first class they scare Egay.
6. Each student deep down dreams that those who invented the Unified State Examination should be killed.
7. Baba EGE is a scary character.
8. To find out how lucky you are, you need to give answers at random in the exam.
9. I wonder what it would be like for the Minister of Health to be treated in a village hospital? Will the Minister of Education be able to pass the exam?
10. A monkey escaped from one circus and accidentally got into the office, where they passed the exam. Choosing random answers, she went to study at Moscow State University.

There is still such a sign, when the student who passes the exam, you need to strongly swear. Allegedly, this will help pass it. A joke on this topic: one student passed an exam for a deuce, came home with claims to his parents that they did not swear him much. They immediately corrected themselves and scolded him severely.

Diary notes

In addition to jokes about Vovochka, exams, and so on, various jokes in the student diaries include jokes about the school. Some of them are very funny and absurd. Below are a few options:

1. "Already that day throws dead cockroaches at classmates."
2. “There is no diary” (the absurdity was that it was written in the diary itself).
3. At the geography lesson, apparently, the child could not remember his address, the teacher wrote the inscription: "Forgot where he lives."
4. “Criticizing furniture in an English office” (critic is growing up).
5. The schoolboy, apparently, had seen enough of thrillers or action movies. In his diary there is an inscription: "I was convincing classmates to go down to the bunker."
6. "Comes in through the window." The student himself wrote to this inscription below: "He goes out through the wall." (Apparently, a fan of the film "The Chronicles of Narnia").
7. Girls are no better: "She behaved like a dog, and nibbled a bone."
8. "Build eyes classmates."
9. "Farted for the whole class."
10. "He went to the toilet, returned drunk." (Someone has a cafe instead of a toilet in the school).
11. "He brought the homeless to the lesson." (Compassionate student).

An infinite number of such examples can be given. It is strange that this is all true, and sometimes teachers themselves become the object of ridicule. Take, for example, physical education or labor teachers.

"Trudovik" and "physical education"

1. On September 1, all teachers receive a bouquet of flowers, and the Trudovik receives a "Bouquet of Moldova."
2. The sportsman commands: “Inhale, exhale! Fu, Anton, you’re breathing the wrong hole again! ”
3. Athlete: "Who smokes?" Sees three raised hands. “So, we will have a smoke, and the remaining five circles in the stadium!”

Afterword

Of course, there are a lot of funny jokes about school (short or long). The reason is that the school time is the most wonderful and fun time for everyone without exception. In each class, funny stories happen. They are similar to each other and at the same time different from each other.

Jokes, jokes about school life will always be invented. After all, this is what brings students and teachers together. Without funny stories, the school itself would be boring and monotonous.