Jokes about life in the USSR existed not only in order to laugh and cheer up. They had a more important task - to maintain the morale of the Soviet people. Now it’s quite possible to say: Soviet jokes are already outdated. There are many modern jokes that will be more understandable and interesting to contemporaries. However, practice shows that many of the very old jokes are relevant even today, and the incredible sense of humor of Soviet people cannot leave indifferent today's youth.
Historical reference
People who made the times of the Soviet Union recall that period with warmth. Unfortunately, they never managed to achieve the promised abundance, but the Soviet people sacredly believed that they were already on the verge of that very “bright future”. A sense of humor helped them fight the imperfection around: jokes about the USSR on various topics were very popular.
In particular, the inhabitants of the USSR were very fond of jokes on topical topics. Moreover, humor became to some extent a way of controlling the population: satirical magazines and films in a humorous vein criticized what was displeasing to the leaders of the country. At the same time, Soviet jokes that were popular among people made fun of political leaders, political power, unfulfilled promises and negative life features of those times.
By the way, such a popular ridicule was fraught with punishment, because jokes of this type were not advertised for a long time and at the same time existed, and even old jokes about the USSR survived to our days in almost original form.
Jokes about communism
At the next party meeting of the collective farm, they decided to consider two questions: building a barn and building communism. Since no boards were found, we decided to proceed immediately to the discussion of the second question.
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- The most permanent thing in the USSR?
- Stump is clear: difficulties that are temporary.
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A telegram from a Jew came to the Kremlin in Moscow, addressed to Lenin: "Comrade Lenin, please help a Jew, everything is very bad."
The senders are called to the Kremlin and asked:
- Are you okay? Lenin is no longer alive, he died!
“That's how you are all the time.” As you need - so he is alive. And as for us - everything is already dead.
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It was decided to open a brothel for foreign sailors in Odessa. The position of the head of the house was offered to the famous gangster Aunt Pesa from Moldavanka. But Aunt Pesya suddenly became indignant and refused.
- Why? They ask her perplexedly.
“But because I know you!” - exclaimed Aunt Pesya. - You’ll need ten beds left for the city committee, about twenty for the regional committee, and, if necessary, for the organs. In the spring you will be pulling my girls for sowing on the collective farm, in the fall - to clean, and throughout the year - on subbotniks. And I myself should go to bed and carry out the plan ?!
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- How many words are in the shortest joke in the world?
- One: communism.
Jokes about the leaders of the USSR
- What did Khrushchev bring new to scientific communism?
- Soft sign after the letter "z".
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Lenin’s times resembled a tunnel: it’s dark everywhere, but the light ahead.
In Stalin's time, they lived as if on a bus: half of the people are sitting, the other half are cowardly, and they are alone.
Life under Khrushchev resembled a circus: he spoke alone, everyone laughed.
The Brezhnev era was reminiscent of a film: everyone was waiting for the show.
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Lenin once received a telegram from a small town with the text: “Scrubs are starving.”
“Who are they?” - he asked. He was explained that school workers are called “scrubs” - an abbreviation in general.
- What a vile word! - Lenin was indignant. - How can teachers be called that? Mess!
After some time, he received a telegram of the following content: "Teachers are starving."
- Well, that's a completely different matter! - rejoiced Lenin.
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Stalin visited the dying Lenin.
- Bad for me, my friend. I'll die soon, complained Lenin.
“Well then give me power, okay?” - asked Stalin.
“Well, I don’t feel sorry, but the people behind you, I’m afraid, will not go.”
“Whoever refuses to follow me will follow you!” - answered Stalin.
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The workers complained to Lenin for a long time that there was no food.
- We only eat oats! Come soon we will laugh like horses! - one of them was indignant.
- Hey, don't lie! Yesterday I ate a jar of honey and, as you see, did not buzz! - answered Lenin.
Shortage Jokes
Two Jews are talking.
- Here comes communism - I will buy myself a private plane!
“Why do you need him?”
- And what if they give butter in Syktyvkar? Half an hour by plane - and I'm already there!
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- What definition of deficit can be given from the point of view of Karl Marx?
- Deficit is called objective reality, which we do not feel.
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“What happened before: an egg or a chicken?”
- Before, everything was just ...
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“Again you have no meat?” - the buyer asks the seller in the grocery store.
“Sheer lies!” - the seller is indignant in response. - There is no meat in the deli, which is opposite to ours. And we do not have fish.
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At the grocery store, the grandmother asks the seller:
“My dear, is there a cervelat?”
- Not.
- A Krakow sausage?
“No,” the seller shrugs.
- Well, then do you have a doctor’s sausage?
- Grandma, well, you have a memory! - admired the seller.
Jokes about correspondence
A newspaper seller shouts to people passing by:
- There is no "Truth"! Sold "Soviet Russia"!
- What is there? - ask him.
- Well, there is "Trud" for three copecks.
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- Is there a difference between the newspapers Pravda and Izvestia?
- Yes. There is no truth in Izvestia, but you will not find news in Pravda.
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Napoleon, Caesar and Alexander the Great watch the parade on Red Square.
“I would be invincible if I owned tanks like the USSR,” said Alexander.
“And I would conquer the whole world if I had planes like the USSR,” Caesar answered.
“If I had the Pravda newspaper, nobody would ever know about Waterloo!” - calmly added Napoleon.
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- Is there something in common between the editor of a Soviet newspaper and a sapper?
- Yes, both are mistaken only once in a lifetime.
Jokes about work
The highest level of conspiracy in the republics of the USSR. For example, in the UK, one company does not know what is happening in another company. In France, one laboratory does not know what is being done in another. In America, an employee does not know what a colleague is sitting at the next table. In the Soviet Union, the worker himself does not know what he is doing.
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- In the Soviet Union there is no unemployment. Why?
- Everyone is busy with business: someone is building, someone is breaking.
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It was during a meeting on the collective farm.
“We give the floor to the honorary member of the board of our collective farm, Ivan Petrovich Schukin,” the chairman says. When the applause died down, Ivan rose from his seat and cursed loudly.
“Ivan Petrovich wanted to say that we are all littering, and only he removes it,” the chairman explained.
Conclusion
Here they are, jokes about the USSR, which amused many generations of the times of the Soviet Union. Despite the fact that some of them were risky to tell, people did not deny themselves this pleasure.
Another advantage of Soviet humor is that it is local in nature: it is unlikely that even now foreigners could understand what this or that joke says. But the Soviet people and even modern youth who did not find the times of the USSR, for the most part, jokes about the USSR will be understandable.