To create strong relationships with a young man, all aspects must be considered. Love alone, tender words and mutual understanding will not be enough if the coupleâs sexual life does not develop properly. At such moments, the girl asks herself: "Why does the guy not want me?" To solve a problem with a lack of desire, you need to understand its causes and familiarize yourself with methods that help restore relations to their former passion.
Signs of lack of sexual desire
To understand whether this problem really exists in a relationship, you need to follow the changes that have occurred with the young man. If a guy says he doesnât want sex, the girlâs emotion about this is understandable. But not every partner will directly talk about their problems in intimate life and share them with their soulmate. You can guess that there is a problem sexually if you pay attention to the following symptoms:
- Partner becomes less interested in intimacy.
- The man is annoyed and reluctant to make contact in bed.
- He does not enjoy the process.
- After sex, the guy is in a bad mood or falls asleep immediately, without even saying a few pleasant words to his partner.
With age, men, like women, become less active in sex life. This is considered normal. If you have been married for many years, there is no reason to panic when a man has ceased to pay great attention to the intimate side of relationships. If your couple has just formed, and you already say to yourself: âThe guy doesnât want me,â you should begin to understand the reasons for this behavior.
Search for reasons in yourself
When a man meets his soulmate and falls in love, he constantly feels a desire. If a girl eventually loses the form that was desired for her partner, he can change his attitude towards her.
But the matter is not only about the appearance and figure of the lady. Sometimes the behavior of the fair sex can disrupt the sexual life of a couple. If a girl notices that the guy does not want to have sex, she should reconsider her own behavior in bed. Perhaps she does not show her desire, giving her partner too little affection and tenderness.
If the guy does not see that the girl enjoys the process, he will not be interested in it properly.
If a girl believes that sex is needed only by the stronger sex, and does not try to seduce her man, this can cause a lack of interest in him. But do not get upset and say to yourself: "The guy does not want me because I'm not sexy enough." There are other reasons for the lack of desire that do not depend on the behavior and external data of the partner.
Low testosterone
This problem can be solved by consulting a doctor. To independently determine that a man has a low level of testosterone, it is worth paying attention to his well-being. The following symptoms point to this problem: constant fatigue, lack of interest in sex, causeless weight loss, problems with erection, and bad mood.
If you donât know why a guy doesnât want sex, if you notice the symptoms described above, you should seek help from a specialist.
Stress at work
In the modern world, a person constantly gets into stressful situations. This is especially true for men who work diligently and are struggling to advance through the ranks. Workloads lead to nervous tension, and it becomes the cause of problems in intimate life.
A low level of earnings, dissatisfaction with their position and unsatisfactory economic situation can make a guy out of passionate and indifferent to proximity. In such a situation, the girl needs to distract the young man from problems, to occupy him with more pleasant deeds. For example, prepare a romantic dinner using candles, take a walk along a beautiful street, visit his favorite place. This will not only strengthen the relationship, but also relax the man. Then you donât have to ask yourself: âWhy the guy doesnât want me?â
Self-doubt
Men, like women, can have low self-esteem. If a girl constantly tells her partner that she is unhappy with him in bed, he begins to feel insecure, which makes him less active intimately. The guy does not want to have sex with a lady who does not appreciate his efforts, but only instills uncertainty in his strength. Such behavior can not only deprive the relationship of passion, but also destroy them completely. If a girl understands that a man is not always good in bed, she should gently and gently tell what needs to be done, but not to make a gross complaint.
If you have just started a relationship with your partner, and you already notice that he does not want to have an intimate relationship with you, it may be a matter of past bad experience. The guy does not want sex after a past relationship in which he experienced pressure from the girl or could not prove himself. In this situation, it is worthwhile to show all the tenderness and understanding that you are capable of, to give the partner time to understand that the past relationship is behind.
Health status
Some drugs can make a man less active in bed due to decreased libido. This may be one of the possible reasons for the lack of desire. Ask your partner what drugs he is currently taking, read the instructions, get acquainted with their effect on the hormonal background. If the guy does not want sex for this reason, you should consult your doctor and choose another medicine.
There is a difference between a lack of sexual desire and problems with an erection. If a man is simply not attuned to sex, perhaps his thoughts are busy with problems or other things. When he feels a physical malaise, manifested in the absence of an erection or decreased libido, he needs to see a doctor, and not self-medicate.
If you notice that problems have arisen in your intimate life, you need to share your feelings with a partner in order to begin to solve them together.
How to start a conversation
Before you tell your partner about what does not suit you, you should make sure that he is ready for this. A conversation started at the wrong time, when a man is annoyed or tired after a hard day's work, will not bring the desired result, but only more upset a man who already has a lot of experiences.
Have a good time together, talk about something abstract. Only then go to the core of the problem. The partner should understand that you are only concerned about this side of the relationship, and do not want to say that you no longer perceive him as a lover. Set it up for dialogue. Only then talk about the problem.
If you suggest why a man does not want intimacy, do not immediately inform him of your guesses. Perhaps the reasons are different. With proper understanding, you will set up a partner for a sincere conversation.
How to help a partner return passion to an intimate relationship
When the conversation took place and the reasons were identified, you need to move on to solving the problem.
If during a conversation you find out that a man feels a malaise, which interferes with having sex, try not to put pressure on him and not ask too much. He cannot tell some things to even the closest woman. The solution to the problem is best entrusted to a specialist. Tell the man that you are excited about his state of health, and then unobtrusively and gently convince him to visit a doctor.
When the problem is a state of health, a specialist will help. And what if the guy does not want sex, because he no longer has a sexual attraction for his lover? In this situation, one does not need to be offended and immediately break off relations. You can try to make a difference. You need to start with yourself.
Dress in beautiful clothes more often, even if you are not going to leave the house. An old bathrobe is very convenient for cleaning or cooking. But what kind of sexual desire can be discussed if the girl does not care for herself?
Seduce your man even after long years of marriage. Go on dates together, flirt, arouse in him those feelings that he experienced at your first meeting.
Psychologists' recommendations
Specialists advise women not to be irritable if a man is not always ready for sex. The womanâs dissatisfaction with the intimate side of the relationship strongly affects the self-esteem of her partner, because of which he only closes more strongly, feels insecure.
According to psychologists, the reasons for the lack of desire in men can be grievances for their soul mate. Perhaps there was a conflict in the pair that was not resolved.
Over time, he is forgotten, but the man continues to feel resentment and tension when communicating with his lover. In this case, you can visit a family psychologist and, together with a specialist, sort out the problem.
When a woman does not satisfy the needs of a man sexually, he loses interest in this side of the relationship. Their couple can survive, they can continue to communicate and love each other, but sex no longer attracts a man. In such a situation, a woman needs to learn to be more relaxed and take into account the wishes of her partner.