Birds from the Mockingbird family have always been admired by people for their ability to imitate. Unconditional leaders are parrots, because they manage to brilliantly copy human speech. And sometimes even utter whole sentences, successfully inserting them into a dialogue with people, which creates the full impression of meaningful actions. Therefore, a joke about a parrot stands out as a separate subgenre in verbal folk art. Such stories are almost always witty. And this is not surprising, because the main character is a bird, which does not reach for a word in a pocket.
A joke about a parrot and a man
In short funny stories composed by comedians from the people, the opponent of a witty bird is often not a very savvy hero. As a rule, this is a little man who likes to drink and does not care too much about his moral character. There is more than one joke about a talking parrot and its owner. In our opinion, we want to present an interesting version to the attention of the reader.
Once, with a man who was very fond of drinking, his wife went on a business trip. There was an impressive sum of money to buy new furniture at home. The man’s wife was severe. Leaving, she threatened that in case at least a penny was spent, the peasant could not escape serious bodily harm. The binge fastens on the day, another, on the third could not stand it - and away we go. The peasant had no time to come to his senses, as he drank all the money, and tomorrow his wife is returning. He thinks what to do, he decided to ask the drinking companion for advice. He says: "Take for the time of my parrot, you tell your wife that you decided to buy a smart bird instead of furniture." The peasant liked the idea, but there was one ambiguity in the plan. How to return a parrot back? The drinking companion says: “Don’t worry, my Petruha is a terrible swindler, as soon as he opens his beak, your spouse will immediately tell you to get rid of him. You’ll bring it back to me. ” So they decided.
The man brought the parrot home, and he began to shout: "Vaska is a bastard, he drank all the money!" A man asked him to shut up and threatened, the vile bird does not understand anything. He could not stand the booze and put the parrot in the freezer so that he would gain his mind and not talk too much. After some time, a man takes a feathered bird out of the refrigerator and asks: “Well, will you still be talking about me?” And the parrot answers: “Yes, I am completely dumb! Just tell me why you sewed that chicken from the freezer? Chatted too much? ”
Parrot in the fridge
There is also a joke about a parrot, which was closed in the freezer. However, in this version, the feathered suffered for the use of profanity.
A man was expecting guests. An interesting lady was to come along with old friends. I really wanted the peasant to make a pleasant impression on her. But everything could ruin his parrot. The feathered one had a bad habit - he swore terribly. A man agreed with him in a good way. The parrot promised to be silent. But as soon as the doorbell rang, the bird began to swear terribly. The man in a rage thrust the swindler into the refrigerator. The evening was fun, everyone was dancing and the lady felt hot. She went to the kitchen to add ice to her champagne glass. The freezer opens, and from there a parrot jumps out of the blue from the cold. The lady in amazement asks: "Who are you?" And the parrot answers: "I, your mother penguin!"
Jokes about a parrot and a dog
Another frequent character in funny parrot stories is the dog. In this tandem, the animals work very unitedly and harmoniously.
Thief chose one apartment. He waited until the owners were at home, and made his way inside. Passes along the corridor and sees that in the far corner lies a shepherd. The thief stopped in bewilderment, but the dog doesn’t lead his ear, he sleeps for himself. The cracker calmed down and went into the room. Suddenly he hears a woman's voice from the kitchen: “Good evening.” The thief was dumbfounded, but nobody was supposed to be at home. He carefully enters the kitchen and sees a parrot in a cage. He again says: "Good evening." The cracker exhaled and went about his business. When the loot was already collected, from the kitchen again it came: "Good evening." The thief smirked and said to the parrot: "What, you fool, know nothing more?" The parrot answers: “I know. Rex, FAS !!! "
Another joke about a parrot and his faithful friend tells the story of a robbery.
As in the first case, the thief sneaked into the house. A parrot distracts him, who shouts: “Shurik sees everything! Shurik sees everything! ” The thief began to annoy the cry of a bird, and he covered the cage with a bird rag. And the parrot says: "Shurik is our shepherd."
Parrot and other birds
I bought a parrot farmer. At first, the bird behaved decently and entertained the owner with its funny twitter. Then the feathered began to show remarkable abilities, remembering a lot of words. The farmer was very proud of his pet. I bought him the best food, and in my free time I was engaged in the training of birds. The parrot felt its importance and began to allow itself to argue with the owner, and then insult it. The farmer got angry, and after another skirmish, the parrot thundered into the chicken coop. He is sitting among the hens, and they are discussing him. They say that the male is ugly and useless. Tired of this parrot, he says to the chickens: “Yes, calm down at last, a racket! You’re here on charges of prostitution, and I’m shaking my time on a political article! ”
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An elderly lady comes to the pet store and turns to the seller: “I would like to buy a parrot so that there is always someone to talk to. There’s no time for children. ” The seller replies: “Yes, please. This macaw costs five hundred pounds, and the gray Jaco costs three hundred. ” The lady says: “Unfortunately, it is too expensive for me. Maybe there’s a cheaper bird? ” After thinking, the seller says: “Take the owl, although she does not speak, she listens very carefully!”
There is a similar joke about a parrot and a woodpecker. The stories are pretty similar. However, in the end, the seller offers to buy a woodpecker. Since he does not even speak, he can perfectly communicate using Morse code.
Parrot and women
The fair sex is known for its sociability. Therefore, especially funny jokes about parrots and women.
Grandmother decided to give her granddaughters a gift. I went to a pet store and turned to the seller: "Please sell me that parrot, he seems pretty to me." The seller replies: "I must warn you that this bird is old, moreover, it lived in a brothel for a long time." The lady says: "Nothing, I take it." She brings the parrot home, the granddaughters rejoice. Mom also came to look at the pet. And suddenly the parrot says: “Wow, new girls! And the bundersha too! ” Hearing these screams, the father of the family left the room. Seeing him, the parrot swept over the cage and started shouting: “Bah! And the customers are the same! Well, Sanya! ”
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Two friends meet. One another asks:
- Why are you so sad? Did something happen?
- My parrot died recently, sorry for the bird.
- Why? Had something?
- No, I died of longing, because my wife did not give him a word to say!
Resourceful parrot
But an interesting joke about a parrot, which was distinguished by its resourcefulness.
Opposite the pet store is a grocery store. I’m bored, I decided to have fun and began to pester the seller of the shop with questions:
- Hey, do you have grapes?
“No, now is not the time for him.”
After a few minutes, the parrot repeated the question, the seller answered the same. The parrot did not calm down and repeated his question several more times. Then the seller in a rage shouts to him:
- Once again you ask, and I will break your legs with nails!
The parrot is thoughtful and asks:
- Do you sell nails?
- Not.
- Do you have grapes?