People become socially active from early childhood. Being small, it was not difficult to find a friend, because it was enough to approach, reach out and invite to play together. But the older we get, the harder it is to open up and trust new people. Let's find out how to make friends if you are a very shy, insecure person.
Tip 1. Make lists
Suppose you have recently become lonely, but at the same time open to communication and new acquaintances. As a rule, in such situations, a person begins to think about what friend / partner he would like to meet on his way. For example, if you are a woman, then you probably have a small list in your head. Your person should be witty, smart, have a stable job, value a family and desire to build it.
When you look at such a list, a no less interesting question arises - where to find such an ideal friend / partner? Then you either join the most relevant dating websites or, conversely, visit local interest groups to find just the person who matches all of the listed items on the list. So how to make new friends? First of all, you need to understand what they should be. The list sets you up for the search, so even in a large crowd it is easier to find a good and faithful friend.
If you know who you are looking for, it becomes easier to find them.
Tip 2. Flirt
This is the most important step to establish friendships between adults. There are two mistakes people make when it comes to winning the hearts of new acquaintances:
- Firstly, no need to rush. If you don’t recognize a person well, and he gets used to you, after a certain period of disappointment in him, breaking such a relationship will be very difficult and painful.
- Secondly, little communication. It is like falling in love when people do not offer each other to become someone more, because both understand everything without words. But if you begin to doubt and convince yourself that your new acquaintances do not have time for you, then the unfinished spiritual bridge will begin to burn out quickly.
Flirt helps you learn how to make friends. This is a great way to check if a particular chemistry is between you. Flirting does not necessarily mean the beginning of a romantic relationship. A fun game, mimicking each other, finding common themes and connecting to a single wave - this is only a small part of what should be between people who seek to find true friends.
Tip 3. Grow
This tip is ideal for parents who do not know how to help their child make friends. It is important that the child is socially active from early childhood. Parents should not prohibit children from making contact with other babies, but rather encourage openness and friendliness.
In no case should you humiliate your child, each time lowering his self-esteem. Plant him love and kindness, educate him and show that not all people in this world are ready to be as open as he is.
When your child becomes older, then he can be sent to any sports section, to an art or music school, to language courses. Where a large number of children are always concentrated, it will be easier for your child to find friends. As a rule, they will be united by common interests, which means that any acquaintance can develop into good friendships and long-term relationships.
This advice applies to adults who are looking for ways to make friends. If you feel like you are alone and you are sorely lacking in communication, then analyze your interests. Ask yourself questions and find out what you like best about how you would like to spend your free time. If you like to knit, then sign up for specialized courses, join groups where you can consult with different people, share your work and learn something new. If you like to cook, do not be afraid to improve the skill and invite new friends to a dinner party.
Tip 4. Be active
If you want to learn how to make friends, then you have to leave your comfort zone and leave the house. Of course, thanks to the era of the Internet, you can meet a thousand new faces, but even a few can hardly become real comrades for you.
A great way to find new friends is to become a volunteer. You can take care of the elderly, veterans, people with disabilities, orphans, animals, and the environment. Most people are willing to help on a voluntary basis, realizing that they will not receive anything for it, except for pleasure and self-satisfaction.
You will find new friends of interest, you just have to offer your help in various organizations. The main plus of volunteering is that all participants try to become part of a huge family, so they often hold marathons, concerts, events, picnics and meetings.
Tip 5. Learn to contact people.
With age, finding a common language with strangers is becoming increasingly difficult. This will help you with tips on making friends:
- First, don’t be afraid to talk to different people. When you are riding the bus, waiting for the turn to the therapist, the girl who slipped on the ice helped to get up, always try to be open and confident.
- Secondly, do not hesitate to keep up the conversation, discuss the poor work of utilities and the huge number of patients in the hospital. Often, strangers make contact themselves, which often causes you only embarrassment.
Do not forget to look a person in the eye, do not look away. Do not panic if you have a casual conversation. Smile, take your time, take deep breaths before saying anything. The interlocutor will cease to communicate with you if he notices that this conversation does not cause you satisfaction.
Tip 6. Get to know psychology
Of course, a good friend can be felt at the level of intuition, but knowledge of human psychology is still necessary. For example, Dale Carnegie’s book, How to Make Friends and Influence Others, tells numerous stories of people who tried using different methods to find new friends. This book is an excellent tool for those who want to learn to listen and hear, not to strain during a conversation and stop being constrained, to become an excellent conversationalist and to show a healthy interest in others.