Loneliness is not the best companion in life. Even the most beautiful parents cannot replace a friend or girlfriend. How often can one hear the cry of the soul from young people: “I want to find a friend whom I can trust!” Well, let's think about how to find a way out of this difficult situation.
To begin with, we’ll deal with some myths about friendship.
The first myth. A perfect friend should be completely attached to me.
To find a friend, you need to clearly understand that he will not live your life and only for you. At the first call to rush to your aid, to help you in whatever you want. A friend is a person who understands and accepts you as you are, but lives his own unique life. He may be ill, may forget about the meeting, may have a different opinion, he may be friends with someone else - this is normal. By giving your friend freedom, you respect his personality. It is unlikely that another person will want to be friends if you are always jealous.
The second myth. A true friend should be only one.
It all depends on the individual. It is enough for someone to find a friend once and for a lifetime, one vest is enough for him to listen, understand, give practical advice. And another, like air, needs a good company of friends. Temperament and personality traits dictate us certain needs for friendship.
The third myth. You have to be like everyone to find a friend.
This is frank nonsense. Keep your values, uniqueness, dignity. Why do so many of your peers follow the crowd? They are not self-confident. It often happens that young people do not like mass habits and lifestyle at all. But they cannot say and act against. Self-confidence comes from the realization of one's own unique destiny. Keep what you have.
So, how to find a friend you can trust.
Friendship connects people with common interests. Where to find friends? Where everyone is passionate about one thing.
However, it is unlikely that you will meet a good friend in a company that is not friends with the law, or in structured groups. In such communities, which at first glance are very friendly, the guys are united not by hobbies, but by fear, excitement, strict rules, hierarchy. A person who is bound “hand and foot” by the laws of a particular subculture will be her slave. One day he will face a choice - either you, or group rules. Think about whether he will become a true friend?
Friendship is tested in difficulties. How much are you willing to help another person? There is such biblical wisdom: “If you want to have friends, be friendly yourself.” Many times I heard complaints of loneliness, misunderstanding, that friends only use it, but turn away at a difficult moment. I always wanted to ask: “What are you doing?”
Pay attention to one more moment. Each of us has reference people - those whose opinion we value, on whose way of life we are guided. Sometimes I really want this particular person to be a friend. But ... look around you. Perhaps you just don’t notice that your friend lives nearby or studies in the same class. You just look the wrong way.
What to do if it seems that no one is accepting you? Watch carefully for peers who have many friends. Most likely, these are very interesting people. Surrounding people are usually drawn to those with whom it is never boring. Back to hobbies again. If you are only occupied with computer virtual games, then what can you offer a friend? Return to the real world of communication. When a person has some achievements in a certain field, strives for something, then he has something to tell about.
In conclusion, I’ll tell you about one good lesson that my beloved gave me. Once he asked: “Why do you think that people owe you something? No one owes nothing to nobody. It’s easier to look at relationships between people. And when they are kind to you, take it as a gift. ” Frankly, this advice helped get rid of many worries about the behavior of my friends.