When a girl who he has been running for some time refuses a sensitive guy, fair questions arise in his head like: "What to do? I love her, but she doesn’t exist for me." Both in this and in many other social situations, non-recognition by others can become a real problem for a vulnerable person, which can lead to isolation, various disorders and more serious consequences. Especially for such people, we will analyze what to do if you are not loved.
Causes of the problem
A person as a person is not obliged to like absolutely everyone around him, and it would be strange and unnatural if everyone around you loved and accepted you as you are. Adversaries will be found in any case.
But if the overwhelming majority of people around you react to your presence and your actions negatively or completely avoid you, then this is definitely an occasion to think and ask yourself reasonable questions: “Why don't they like me?” or "Why do I love her, but she is not me?"
Such a problem most often occurs when a person begins to manifest personal qualities at a certain moment in his life that repel other people and even relatives from him. These qualities will be discussed.
Negative perception of the environment
We have all met people who always have things going wrong, everyone is against them, and everything is bad. They are annoyed by bus conductors, cashiers in stores, a small salary that is constantly delayed, and the like.
All this accumulates in one big lump, and people around will treat such a person with understanding only for the first time, but if such a perception of the world only intensifies, it is likely that even the closest people will try to reduce communication with such a person to a minimum, and then they will completely begin to avoid it.
One way or another, everyone has their own problems, and everyone wants positive emotions from life, so people try to stay as far away from any negative as possible.
Arrogance and closeness
Unfortunately, to notice these qualities in oneself is sometimes an extremely difficult task. And even if you consider yourself an open and friendly person, your inaccessible facial expression, coupled with a closed body language, carry completely opposite information to others.
And although no one will logically understand what exactly is so repulsive in you, your closeness, one way or another, will be perceived accordingly.
If you still need to constantly belittle someone around you or make fun of them publicly and point out every mistake, in order to build self-confidence, it will also be completely natural for everyone to bypass you.
Excessive talkativeness
Those who do not give others the opportunity to put words in a conversation are preferred not to involve them at all, because all people have a need for at least someone to hear them.
There are those who are simply not able to stop. They continue to scatter their "incredible" stories, jokes, jokes and so on, thinking that they are entertaining the whole company and everyone around them is listening with interest, when in fact the rest of those present are already looking for an excuse to get away from such a storyteller. That is why men love when a girl is taciturn.
Who do not like girls
Those who are wondering: "Why do I love her, but she doesn’t mean me?" - often represent pathologically unhappy people. A woman wants to see a man next to her who knows what she is doing and is confidently on her way.
And although each of us has his own dramas, when you start pouring it all on a poor girl who does not expect this from you at all, her interest in you fades almost instantly, although she can pretend that she is very sympathetic.
It happens in the same way when a man takes the victim’s position in life . This is manifested in the form that such a person is constantly trying to justify his failures, even when no one blames him for anything.
In addition, it is not so obvious, but help can also be extremely repulsive. When communicating with a special opposite sex that interests you, it is important not to forget that you are not meeting her in order to carry out her work, solve her problems, and the like. For this, she most likely has a bunch of other guys.
How to fix the situation
Guys often say, "I love her, but she doesn’t." In solving this problem, as well as in case of non-acceptance by others, the first step will be a thorough introspection. After all, we must understand what exactly needs to be worked on. In order to find out, just take a sheet of paper and write on it all the moments of the past day, both pleasant and not so.
All your own thoughts, the words of others, as well as your own remarks and actions in different situations, recorded on paper, will help you analyze your behavior and understand what exactly is going the wrong way. And the following simple actions will help to become much less repulsive both for the opposite sex and for people around as a whole:
- Start listening to those around you for real, attentive, rather than just waiting in line to talk.
- Smile more often, no matter how trite it may sound, but a smile, not even the most pleasant one, increases your attractiveness many times over.
- Understand that you are not perfect, and learn to openly admit your own mistakes.
- Really respect the people around you and recognize their dignity. If you try, any person can find at least something that arouses respect.
One of the most important skills that will help to earn the favor of others is love and self-acceptance, as well as the ability to be happy and maintain a positive emotional state even in the most difficult times. Master these skills and people will reach for you.