Human communication is an integral part of establishing contact between people, determined through the initial exchange of information with subsequent possible communication on an ongoing basis. Unfortunately, not everyone has the art of easily finding a common language with the surrounding society. Often this applies to young people who are unable to cope with a feeling of self-restraint and fear of meeting with the fair sex. How and what to talk about with a girl? How to find an approach to them? And on what topics to start a conversation so that the conversation does not end at the first conversation?
Why it is important to learn constructive communication
Modern society is built in such a way that without the formation of certain connections and relationships, it is difficult for an individual human unit to survive in the harsh framework of a demanding public. This is not surprising. In order to exist, it is necessary to find common ground with the outside world. This applies to all spheres of human activity: everyday life, family foundations, collegial working moments, in the end, personal life. Therefore, it is important to learn how to get to know people. It is important to be able to find the right approach to them. But how to learn how to behave and what to talk about with girls during a meeting? This is the eternal problem of shy young people.
Adolescence is one of the most difficult moments in rebuilding the minds of guys. During this period, they grow up and begin to see the world differently. Therefore, it is often at this time that difficulties arise when acquaintance with the opposite sex. But, unfortunately, at the stage of primary puberty and the restructuring of the youthful worldview, the problem of communicating with girls does not end. Sometimes men carry excitement when communicating with ladies after a long time of their lives, and only by the age of 30-40 they realize that they have learned to overcome their, in fact, youthful excitement in front of women. And so that such a problem does not interfere with life and adapt normally to human relationships, it is very important to learn constructive communication.
How to overcome the fear of communicating with girls
What to talk about with girls? This question often gnaws at young people in moments of desire to get acquainted and start a conversation with an impressive young lady. How to be? To take the first step towards acquaintance, you must initially get rid of fear and overcome your shyness by completing your own settings:
- Try to ignore thoughts that it is necessary to come up and talk with a beautiful stranger, and imagine that this, for example, is a former classmate with whom she sat together for 11 years and has a lot of common topics for conversation.
- To concentrate attention not on your own awkwardness, but to switch it to the need to achieve a given goal. The task in this case is to speak with a charming lady.
- To overcome the barrier that prevents you from starting a conversation by proceeding from the opposite, that is, thinking in the direction opposite to fears: the girl will not dare to embarrass an embarrassing shy fool, on the contrary, she herself wants to meet a confident, pleasant stranger.
These simple psychological techniques will help the young man get around his fears and worries, and grow in his own eyes with the setting of further attitudes about what to talk about with the girls after the first couple of phrases of a friendly conversation.
How to behave when you first meet
The correct model of behavior at the first meeting with a girl determines the fate of communication with her and the development of events. At this moment, the young man will either prove himself to be an interesting and well-mannered guy, or will make himself out to be stupid. It is precisely the fear of spoiling the first impression of oneself that often completely cuts off young people’s desire to approach the object of their interest in the form of a girl and talk about anything with her.
A few simple tricks will allow the timid and shy guy to develop the right behavioral strategy:
- Under no circumstances should you betray your shyness. It scares women away. By their nature, they are accustomed to reach only for strong and powerful personalities.
- Gently, but confidently allow yourself to touch a lady - solely in the form of a handshake by tactile contact, to indicate to the girl a firm intention to get to know her and communicate on abstract topics, thereby attracting her to herself.
- To be smiling and interested in her answers, but not to stare at her with piercing eyes. This can, again, scare away the lady and make her think about some manic inclinations of the young man.
Having marked for yourself the basic basics of the right habits when communicating with a young charming woman, you need to think through your opening speech, as well as what to talk about with the girl when meeting the first few minutes, and go towards good luck.
How to conduct a dialogue
There is a kind of tacit instruction among men, which allows you to operate with a couple of simple phrases that can start a nice friendly conversation with a representative of the fair half without much effort:
- You need to start a dialogue with an abstract phrase. For example, if young people are in the confectionery department, you can accidentally utter a phrase that “yes, the croissants are truly delicious here, aren't they?”, Or something like that.
- Throwing the first fishing rod and evaluating the positive reaction of the wonderful stranger, you need to move on to the second phrase, which can make the girl ask a counter question, something like: "but there is still a small nuance in the pastries of this wonderful place."
- Having placed the lady to her with two simple, and most importantly, completely abstract topics, one can proceed to introduce oneself and name one's name. Recognizing the girl’s name in response and continuing the dialogue with questions such as: “How often do you visit here?” or "Do you like the local pastry shop?"
After several unobtrusive conversations that were unobtrusive, at the climax of the completion of the introductory dialogue, you need to carefully and unconstrainedly ask the beautiful lady if she would deign to somehow despair together with these delicious croissants. In 90% of a hundred, if a girl is free, she will not refuse a sweet, courteous young man.
What to talk about with a girl on a first date
I had to make only a couple of efforts, and here it is - the first date. What to talk about with the girl you like at the very first co-hosted evening? How not to hit your face in the mud? How not to frighten her with his awkwardness or stupid phrases?
It is necessary even before leaving the house to think over what to talk about with the girl. Topics for conversation should be light, abstract, not complicated by the hardships of past experience or negative discussions of the current difficult human fate. These may be the following areas of pleasant conversation:
- talking about his superficial biography: you can discuss each other's age, professional field, family composition - introduce yourself to each other, so to speak, closer;
- specify hobbies and hobbies - it may turn out that the girl reveres the talents of the same musicians as the young man himself, or is a fan of the acting game of the laureate of the local theater, to whom her interlocutor also sympathizes;
- talk about future plans - talk about your goals, about attempts to achieve them, about new opportunities for self-realization of yourself in this life as a person. Girls like motivated men.
How to interest a girl
If suddenly a guy notices that a girl is starting to get bored, then he says something off topic. An urgent need to reanimate the situation with a trick in the form of a trick with a coin or a pleasant surprise in the form of a rose coming out of nowhere. The flower, of course, must be prepared in advance for such a situation - in any case, it will not disappear and will not interfere this evening. By the reaction of her interlocutor and her words, you need to quickly respond to what she is ready to talk about and actively participate in the discussion of this topic in order to interest the girl and continue a successful meeting.
How to make a girl laugh
There are moments of stupor when you get lost and don’t know what to talk about with the girl about. To save the situation with a prolonged awkward pause, you can pre-thought out a couple of jokes. However, a young man should not be joking if he is not strong at this. His humorous reprise should be neat, easy to read, abstracted - in a word, it should look like it's an improvisation.
It’s not worth poisoning the girl with hackneyed jokes - many people don’t like this humorous genre. You should also not let go of vulgar jokes - this will spoil the perception of the young man right away, and it will be quite difficult to prove to the lady this evening that he is not a jerk at all. You need to be natural and try to amuse the beauty through your own wit and cheerful approach to the conversation.
How to get a girl to yourself
Topics for talking with a girl on a first date should be conducive to communication. For example, ladies are very fond of men who favor pets and all kinds of animals. This is a very winning battle for the young man in the battle for the location of the lady to herself.
No less condescendingly sensitive natures in the person of women belong to men who honor family traditions and home comfort. Talking about joint trips with her family and travels will make the girl softer and may even touch her with the warmth of family values.
Forbidden conversation topics
In order not to spoil a pleasant evening in the company of a beautiful lady, you need to take note of some tips. What you can’t categorically talk about with a girl is about three forbidden topics:
- politics - the destructive power of the opposing views of young people in relation to the current government will reduce the whole evening to nothing;
- religion - disagreements in the belief or perception of the spiritual world will not provide a noble ground for continued sweet communication with the girl in the future;
- former love - discussing the negative qualities of a shameless ex-girlfriend or nagging about her unjust leaving from a young man will put him in an idiotic position and push away his current interlocutor from him for a long time.
What to do when communicating with a girl
In addition to clear guidelines regarding what you need to talk with the girl about and what you shouldn’t, you should remember the simple rules for communicating on a date:
- do not roll up your eyes when dealing with a lady when she says something not quite acceptable for a young man;
- no need to interrupt your interlocutor with your arguments and cries;
- one and the same story should not be repeated several times, even if it was humorous - monotony tends to tire.
Chatting in Internet
What can I talk about with a girl on the Internet? Perhaps this is the easiest method of flirting of all possible, since a young man has a lot of advantages to prepare for a conversation:
- he can learn about the hobbies of the girl he liked from her audio recordings on the social network, her posts on various topics, her videos and can safely proceed from this when choosing the topics of their first chat conversation;
- Correspondence has the privilege that, although it is carried out in real time, there is always a moment to think about the answer in the most successful form;
- making an appointment somewhere is much easier, knowing from the marks on the map in the girl’s personal profile where she prefers to go most often.
Talking on the phone
And what to talk about with a girl on the phone? This is a bit more complicated than communicating on the Internet, but it is still much easier to have a face-to-face contact with a girl, since the beauty on the other end of the wire, fortunately, cannot visually observe the excitement and emotions of her interlocutor. The phone makes possible a lot of different conversations on the topic of cinema, music, books, travel, hobbies, art, work or study, eating habits and the like. Therefore, shy guys should take note of the possibility of facilitating their task through initial communication on the phone, smoothly turning into a personal meeting and having a good time on a real date with a girl.