To know how to deal with attacks of aggression, should any modern person. Anger and aggression can be both enemies and allies. If these feelings interfere with productive daily routines, you should try to take them under control. Seeming unseemly, they can become useful if you properly re-evaluate your emotions.
Anger: win or tame?
When figuring out how to deal with the aggression of a teenager or adult, a child or an elderly person, you first need to deal with the characteristics of the emotional background and mental status of any person. Extinguishing feelings in yourself is far from the best solution, because sooner or later all this can “explode”. At the same time, aggressive behavior repels people and causes public condemnation, it is dangerous for others and the object itself. Of course, there are people who are able to completely eliminate anger and aggression from their lives, but only a few are capable of this.
Questions about how to deal with the aggression of a husband, wife, parents and children are fully substantiated - this is a natural state and feeling for a person, since it is impossible to be always happy with everything. True, the emergence of a negative emotional background and its expression are two different things. Some, although plunging into the depths of aggression, hold anger inside, without showing an external observer a hint of emotion.
To endure?
Teaching a child how to deal with aggression, one does not need to explain to the child that all emotions should be kept inside - this is not an option. Sooner or later, feelings accumulate to a certain critical point and erupt, and the situation can become disastrous, and loved ones will be among the victims. Double life is not an option. It is best to understand what provokes anger, and it is precisely with the reason to fight by all means.
Having understood where negative emotions come from, many are surprised. This feeling appears inside. Moreover, aggression is to some extent useful for a person, but only if he learns to use it. It is not so much to figure out how to deal with child aggression, but how to study the mechanisms of taming it to your advantage. Aggression is a state of mind that represents a reaction to certain actions. A close concept of "anger" includes sensations that arise within a person.
Theory and practice
Any type of behavior is a more or less successful attempt to communicate with the outside world, to influence it. Aggression becomes by obtaining the desired, as well as sharing your own with others. When figuring out how to deal with aggression, you need to realize that it is one of the methods of creating the boundaries of the inner and outer world, a tool to protect yourself from the environment. Through aggression, a person makes it clear to himself and others how to deal with him, but how unacceptably.
Aggression is a powerful communication tool to help convey opinions to other people. Of course, it’s not pleasant to call him, and society condemns this method. Nevertheless, one cannot refuse it - this is unnatural. No need to think about how to deal with aggression, you should tame it and make it serve for yourself. True, in order to begin your movement along this path of knowledge, you first need to clear yourself of the already accumulated anger, otherwise emotions will overwhelm your head.
Say goodbye to the negative
Understanding how to deal with aggression, it is worth starting with getting rid of the accumulated anger. Negative emotions are not instantaneous, they grow like a snowball for a long time. A person regularly encounters discomfort caused by situations and human actions, which leads to anger.
As a rule, it all starts with the formation of expectations from the object of communication. For many, they are accurate and defined, and when the plan and reality diverge, a person feels as if they had been deceived. From this comes the upset. However, if you move away from the situation, it will not touch at all. More often, however, the emotional status of a person who has been deceived in his expectations is similar to the condition of a child who has just been taken a barely received new toy. Dissatisfaction gives rise to anger.
Plans and consequences
Understanding how to deal with aggression, it should be understood that it is born from a worked out unrealized plan. Any person has patterns, attitudes, specific for himself, but in reality the situation can develop in a completely different way, when circumstances are unfavorable for the individual. To turn aggression to your advantage, you should learn not to drown in a sea of ​​emotions, but to draw strength to correct your behavior in order to change it in your favor.
So that anger does not cause a violation of mental status, does not provoke rash acts, you need to be able to recognize your negative emotions. Building a productive internal dialogue allows you to recognize the place of aggression in your own life. This creates the prerequisites for identifying your own needs. This will allow you to understand what is needed for happiness, and use aggression to get what you want. Anger in such a situation becomes a guide, not an obstacle.
Long and stable
Where to start and how to deal with aggression in the elderly, children and adults, can tell the psychologist. The specialist will explain that everything should begin with getting rid of the already accumulated negative. Do not be afraid that this will lead to a big explosion - you need to create safe conditions in advance. It is best to get rid of negative emotions with the help of a specialist. By normalizing the internal state, one can thereby exclude aggression against others.
If a person does not try to suppress emotions, but accepts them and hears himself, negative manifestations become helpers. Gradually, acceptance of oneself and one's own characteristics, taking into account the identification of external disturbing factors, will become a tool to minimize the emergence of anger. Needs will be satisfied and anger will cease to be a communication tool.
Parents and children
Do not find a family where the older generation has never raised their voice on a child. Humiliating words, sudden movements, blows and punishments provoked by a trifle - this happens in everyone's life. Angry outbursts, however, leave behind a feeling of guilt - adults are well aware that a child’s act did not deserve such a punishment. Nevertheless, it is difficult to cope with yourself, and the situation repeats itself over and over again.
Aggression on the part of the parents turns the child into a victim, at the same time, the older generation feels helplessness, guilt. By learning to deal with aggression, you can thereby make the whole family happier.
The situation is diverse
Aggressive attitude towards children is irrational. It is characteristic not only of dysfunctional social cells, but also of normal families in which parents love their children and take care of them. Talking about aggression is not accepted, it is considered shameful, and strict education is considered the social norm in our country. Adults can understand that negative emotions are destructive, but they cannot be controlled.
Aggression is provoked by discomfort inside, and it is often caused not at all by a child, but by external causes or characteristics of one’s own upbringing. Disappointment, the mismatch of the offspring compiled by adults, is another typical cause of anger and aggression. The elders imagine a kind of ideal, under which they try to fit a real person. When trying to show personality, the child becomes a cause of disappointment and the object of aggression.
Generation after generation
Often parents are aggressive towards children, who themselves were the object of such an attitude at a tender age. The behavior model is remembered as a norm, as something correct and without an alternative. Awareness of the model is the first step towards victory over it. Aggression at the present time is perhaps the most common reason for parents contacting a family psychologist who understand that there are problems in their relationships with children.
To take control of a situation, you need to understand what provokes anger. It can be fatigue, difficulties at work or an upcoming important event that causes anxiety. If it is not possible to identify the cause, seek qualified help. Recognizing emotions, you can master the tools for expressing them. Often aggressive parents who grew up in unfavorable conditions, therefore did not have before their eyes an example of proper support from others. To take control of aggression, you need to understand how important it is to change. Having learned to empathize, to sympathize with the child, having loved the child and themselves, all family members will become happier.
Accept and understand
The child is individual, he is special, is a personality. Realizing this, recognizing his right not to conform to a pre-built template, thereby parents minimize the likelihood of uncontrolled anger. Everyone has the right to experience, make mistakes and overcome difficulties. No need to try to remake the child to your requirements, hiding him from reality. By accepting a growing person, adults thereby give him the best support, while saving themselves from the bitterness of unjustified expectations.