The debate about whether it is possible to love a married woman has been going on since human civilization developed to the level of permanent marriages. And this means that men have been thinking about this problem for centuries and thousands of years. A lady who has chosen another person for herself, inaccessible and so beautiful ... Is she worth the emotions? Is it worth the effort to get her attention?
Relevance of the issue
Since many people at least once in their life thought about how to love a married woman, accordingly, quite a lot has been said and written about this. If you look at modern forums, magazine and newspaper stories, it becomes clear that the problem is highly relevant. How many such life stories are there when a man finds out that the lady he met, who struck his heart at first sight, is married!
True feelings do not depend on nationality. They will not be an obstacle to social regalia and position. Equally little for emotion is family status. However, it is worth recognizing that falling in love with a married woman rarely really brought joy. Any person, having felt love, wants to know reciprocal feelings, to receive well-deserved happiness. If we are talking about a married lady, the realization of the immorality of such a relationship can destroy even the illusive hope of a good outcome. The most difficult situation is in which there is another participant in the problem - the common child of the spouses.
Love and pain
The question of whether it is possible to love a married woman and how to be in such a situation, in the general case, comes down to solving the dilemma about the possibility of happiness for a person. Should we suffer? Perhaps, in our society it is impossible to find a person who would find everything easy, especially in the aspect of romance, but for a man who has chosen the thorny path of love for someone else's chosen one, the situation looks especially grim. You should not expect that everything you desire will fall into your own hands. There are simply no easy ways. If the lady of the heart reciprocates, if the goals converge, the couple can jointly take measures to get out of the problematic situation.
What is the difficulty?
Any man by nature is very jealous, and this makes loving a married woman even more difficult. If someone from the outside only gave the lady a smile, it is likely that an unpleasant conversation on this topic awaits her at home. What can we say more! On the one hand, a husband is always an obstacle, but to fight with him directly, “head on” will be a waste of time and energy. By choosing such a strategy, one can not only exclude success, but also greatly harm the future of the chosen one of the heart.
If love finds a response in the object of love, if the girl shows her location, it is impossible to say with certainty that this is a real feeling that will endure all the vicissitudes of fate. There are many cases where the response of sympathy of the lady was explained only by a passing enthusiasm. As soon as the couple got closer, the magic disappeared, emotions disappeared simultaneously with acuteness. Many are attracted to the forbidden fruit. Even more often the situation is different: a lady attracts a man only as long as she is someone's wife. If she leaves her husband for a new love, soon the lover soon realizes that she is not interested in him. Is it worth it to risk and ruin someone else's family if the situation could turn out that way?
All for your purpose!
If a man loves a married woman, he is obliged to very carefully and responsibly evaluate his feelings, so as not to make mistakes. If a long, unhurried analysis shows that the busy lady you know is the only chance for a happy future, you need to develop a strategy. The easiest way is to whom the woman reciprocated. If a lady is convinced that she met after marriage is the same person without whom life is not sweet for her, you can invite her to get out of her old relationship and create a new family. By joining forces, the two will cope with the delicate state of things faster and more beautiful.
But in the event that although a man likes a lady, he is not going to plan a future with her and his family, then he should not start. Without serious goals, you can’t destroy someone else’s marriage. No matter how much a man loves a lady who has already chosen another partner for her whole life, if he is not going to be with her until the last day, we can say with confidence: a woman will be happier with her first choice.
Causes and consequences
If a man loves a married woman and is ready to make any achievements for this, you need to understand that the relationship will be risky. If two build their happiness on the misfortune of an abandoned husband, they rarely achieve absolute peace, understanding and trust. In many ways, prejudice affects. Concerned about conscience. If a woman has a child from her first marriage, this creates additional difficulties in the relationship.
As practice shows, not every man is able to accept a child if his father is another person. Only a truly tolerant, loyal one can become a worthy father. The child is not to blame for anything, he is clean, nevertheless many men see him as his father. In order to show oneself in such a situation, one must be able to sincerely love all children - only in this way the child born from another man will become a native. If the lover is not sure that he is capable of such sincere and strong feelings, it is better not to risk it or even start a relationship with a woman. She will be calmer in the current marriage.
Sometimes even dangerous!
When thinking about whether or not it is possible to love a married woman, a man should be aware of the risks associated with such a relationship. Do not find a husband who would be satisfied with the departure of his wife to another. Not to find someone who would turn a blind eye to her interest in an outside person. When seeking someone else's wife, you need to be aware of the danger of using brute force against yourself. Trying to persuade a woman to extramarital affairs or even divorce, it should be understood that thereby the initiator not only changes her and his life, but also the fate of her husband. The lives of several people are crumbling. Anyone who loses a family, spouse, possibly a child, is plunged into an abyss of anger. The emotions experienced by this person are not only destructive in their power, but also fully justified and fair, which gives them special strength.
Only a worthy man can pass this test with honor. You need not only to realize your love for a married lady and provide her with everything possible for happiness if she makes a choice in favor of a new lover. You need to behave in a gentlemanly manner so as not to harm her ex-husband if possible. Well, if a person fears for his health and his greatest fear - to be beaten, it is better not to start. The risks of such an outcome are too great.
Troubles and ways to eliminate them
Why do men comparatively often pay attention to other people's wives? Psychologists have been thinking about this situation for a long time. It attracts no less attention from philosophers. It is known that many were fond of a pretty and pleasant lady, knowing that she had already bound herself by marriage. Others, analyzing their attitude, then concluded: the main reason was the fact of marriage. You don’t have to worry that such a lady will ask you to marry her. Fearing to be connected by marriage, men immediately choose those who have already joined them, so they will not threaten their personal freedom. It also happens that a man almost immediately finds out that the lady is married, at that moment does not even love her, but continues to get closer, almost intentionally escalating the situation.
It happens differently. A man cannot figure out what to do. “I love a married woman!” - this thought beats in the head, does not give rest, does not allow you to breathe calmly, deprives sleep. Some in such a situation do not even make attempts to attract the attention of a lady, or all such insinuations fail. It remains only to fight with your feelings. What to do?
Options
It happens that a man realizes to himself: "I love a married woman with a child." If you want to get away from this feeling, you should try your hand at creativity. You can write poems about your feelings, compose songs. Any creative activity allows you to somewhat abstract from emotional stress and love intensity.
To make it easier to forget about a married lady, it is worth taking a closer look at others. Surely there is a familiar and completely free girl who will be glad to have a relationship. Choosing her, at first the man may not be too sincere, but over time, new emotions and impressions will overwhelm the old ones, and an unsuccessful love for someone else's spouse will outlive itself.
Feelings and Justice
A situation is also possible when a married man loves a married woman and cannot throw her out of her head for a long time. The most difficult thing is for someone who often meets with the object of his love. Such a man will experience endless suffering both from the fact that his beloved is different, and from the fact that he himself is not with the one with whom he would like. Well, the lady with whom a lover spends his time in such a situation will sooner or later understand what is the matter and feel cheated, used.
Options and situations
Some psychologists, often analyzing why they love married women, have come to the conclusion: most often these are men who are interested in strong, vivid impressions. In fact, they are not in love with someone else's chosen one, but with the possibility of relations with a person belonging to another. Such people are strongly advised to thoroughly analyze their aspirations and motives. There are a lot of sources of extreme sensations and impressions around. It’s not necessary to destroy other people's lives in order to receive them. A much more preferred option is extreme sports. It is useful for the body, develops strength of mind, which can not be said about the relationship with the spouse of another person.
It also happens that a man first thinks about his difficult situation: “Ah, I'm married, I love a married woman, what should I do?” - and after some time he learns that his chosen one has not yet become a stranger. Perhaps she is only meeting with someone who was mistakenly mistaken for her life partner. If in your marriage the relationship went completely wrong and there are no ways to restore peace, it is worth trying to look at the new lady. Is her boyfriend really good? Are there any chances to get her attention? Perhaps that lady had not yet realized how much she was loved? To get attention, you need to give gifts and shower the beloved with compliments. It is necessary to show interest in it. So you can start a new serious relationship. Since for their sake the girl will part with the guy, and not with her husband, no one will be bothered by the torment of conscience.
Friend and foe
Psychologists have repeatedly tried to determine why men love married women, and several theories. One of them speaks of rivalry and the desire to be the best against the background of others. If others have something, a real conqueror, a true warrior wants to get all this into their property, without too much thought about how much he needs this object. Seeing someone else's wife, the man realizes that the woman does not belong to him. If it is beautiful enough, it is likely that he immediately gets the idea to appropriate it as a “property”, an indicator of social status. Very often this happens when a friend finds a partner in life. Having looked at her, the representative of the stronger sex feels that there simply cannot be anyone better and more beautiful on the planet. You need to understand: almost always such situations lead to the fact that you need to choose either a friend or a lady. If we analyze the situation and understand that the interest in the lady was provoked precisely by the primitive instincts of the conqueror, we can conclude that for a long time a woman who has left her friend will not remain attractive, but she will not be able to restore her previous relationship with her friend.
In such circumstances, extreme caution must be exercised. Loves come and go, in the life of almost every person they have been more than once. As many rightfully say, it is much less likely to meet a true and faithful friend.