What to talk about with a friend? It would seem that yesterday there were no secrets between you, you could share anything with each other, and today you have suddenly become strangers to each other. Is it possible to restore the old friendship, and in general, is it worth it?
Why friendship has stopped
In fact, if there were no sharp conflicts like a war over a man’s heart or just a stupid quarrel, after which communication stopped, friendship does not go away in a day, week or month. This process begins gradually and can last several months, just one day everything became clear by itself. If you are increasingly tense at the thought of what you can talk about with a friend, most likely this is the beginning of the end. There are several reasons for this outcome:
- Interests diverged. It happens, once you studied together, shared common problems, then each of you chose a future life. Perhaps she is already married, have children? and conversations revolve around problems with the spouse and the nasty mother-in-law, who continually breaks in and spoils the family idyll. Do not blame yourself for not being too interested in this, especially if you are not married.
- You are just tired. It happens that the best friend begins to abuse confidence. You have absolutely no time left for your own life, because you live in other people's problems, which, as a rule, are not solved, but pass from day to day. In this case, you can just relax from each other for a while.
- One of you gave more than you received in return. A similar rule applies to friends, and not just to a partner in a relationship. The best friend hangs problems on you, you become a personal vest, and you have to solve your problems yourself. Look around, do you need such a girlfriend? What to talk about with a friend?
- Emotional incompatibility. It becomes very difficult to be with a girlfriend, it is almost a physical feeling of hostility. You are shocked by the way she talks with you or with her husband, friend, maybe she began to break down for nothing and arrange tantrums, and it’s hard for you to be around.
How to make peace with a girlfriend
A little time passed, and the quarrel was forgotten. But how to take a step towards reconciliation? The best thing is not to dig out a grudge, but to pretend that nothing happened. A message on the social network, a simple SMS on the phone with a greeting will be a good option. Before a personal meeting, think about what to talk with your ex-girlfriend to regain your location.
Another option is a “random” call. Come up with a good reason: suppose you ask her to give you a recipe for the salad that was cooked at the last gatherings and turned out to be so tasty that you decided to treat them to your lover.
If you know for sure that your friend will be at home, get ready a little in advance, call, say that you are not far from her house and are going to come in with a cake and drink some tea. Tell us what you have, what to talk about with your girlfriend, share the news.
How to start a conversation
The call was a success and you finally met each other. What is the first thing you can talk to your girlfriend about to make you feel awkward? A few options for talking that will help in this matter:
- evaluate the image of your girlfriend: dress, shoes, makeup, or something else;
- ask about her success or how her child is growing;
- remember something that was good in your friendship;
- remember the common thing that always amused you.
Listen to a friend, and then move on to a pre-designed topic, because of which you invited her to a meeting. Maybe, from the first meeting, the girlfriend will not regain her location, but the ice will be touched.
Which topics to avoid
If the conversation is going well and you really have something to talk about with your girlfriend, there are still topics that it’s better not to touch upon the first meeting after the conflict and discuss them later, and if possible not return to them at all:
- debriefing of the previous conflict: it’s hardly worth discussing it right away, put it off until everything settles down if you feel the need to sort it out;
- Do not remake your girlfriend and do not impose your opinion on how to do the right thing;
- try to avoid discussing conflicts in the family, only the quarrel participants know the truth, and do not rummage in someone else's rubbish once again;
- do not tell your friend about the shortcomings of her chosen one, it is unlikely that you would like a similar topic in her place, even if you are right;
- other acute angles that cause discomfort in a girlfriend;
- gossip about mutual friends and acquaintances.
Friendship from scratch
In order not to lose a girlfriend again, it is important not to repeat past mistakes. Do not look for flaws in her, since once she became your friend, then she once deserved such a right. Look for only positive aspects in your friendship. Rejoice for your girlfriend, be inspired by her successes, find a new joint interesting hobby that will connect you and discover the interesting sides of each other, you will always have something to talk about with your girlfriend. And let the two of you become an example of the fact that women's friendship does not just exist, but can be much stronger than men's.