Many women are tormented by the question: "What if I don’t have an orgasm?" This problem often pops up between partners, and since the issue is quite sensitive, many are embarrassed or afraid to discuss it, although it is actually necessary. Everyone should find out what needs to be done so that a woman experiences an orgasm, because in fact it is not so difficult if you are not afraid to talk to each other.
Types of Orgasm
First you need to keep in mind that there are two types of orgasm that are available to women:
The clitoral type is available to almost everyone, since every woman can stimulate the clitoris without outside help, for example, with her fingers.
As for the vaginal, everything is a little more complicated here. There are studies according to which about 30% of women, in principle, are not able to experience vaginal orgasm. Many women are even worried and do not know what to do, experiencing only a clitoral orgasm. But this is not a big deal - judging by statistics, this is a kind of norm.
Causes
The lack of orgasm in a girl can be due to psychological or physiological reasons.
Psychological factors may include:
- Chronic fatigue.
- Depression
- Stress.
- Disappearance of attraction to one's sexual partner.
In addition, it is worth paying attention to whether a woman has strong fears associated with a fear of becoming pregnant or contracting a genital infection. Problems in sexual life can be caused by distrust of the partner or any conflicts in the relationship.
Lack of orgasm can also be caused by physical problems and ailments. Most often, various somatic diseases can cause problems. Also, most gynecological diseases can cause the disappearance of an orgasm. After surgery, the question may arise what to do if you do not experience vaginal orgasm. This is a fairly common problem after severe treatment or childbirth. In some cases, the girl does not experience orgasm due to problems and viruses of the genitourinary system. What to do if you stopped having an orgasm, a specialist can tell. In this case, it is important to establish the exact cause of the problem.
What to do if a woman does not have an orgasm, what is the reason? Hormones can tell you the answer: after all, often hormonal changes in the body that occur due to aging or during treatment with the use of certain drugs (for example, antidepressants) lead to disorders in sexual life and also reduce sexual desire. You can correct the hormonal background after the study under the strict guidance of a doctor. Sexuality can be affected by drugs and alcohol.
Third-party reasons
Do not also forget that if a girl has never experienced an orgasm, what to do, perhaps you should think not her, but her partner. Often, the lack of orgasm is associated with inept actions of the partner - possibly due to a lack of sexual experience. It will be difficult for a woman to be liberated with a man who cares exclusively about himself.
What to do if you do not have an orgasm? First of all, you need to make sure that you and your partner do not have dysgamy - the so-called sexual disharmony between two people. Most often this happens when the ejaculation of a man occurs before the orgasm catches a woman. It is difficult to say what needs to be done in order to experience an orgasm in such cases: this usually happens due to differences in the temperaments of partners or the inappropriate size of the male genital organ in relation to the size and depth of the vagina of a particular woman.
What happens during orgasm
The problem with achieving an orgasm in a woman is actually not so rare. Many men are tormented by the question of what to do if the girl does not experience an orgasm in the vicinity. This can cause guilt in both partners. But there is nothing to be ashamed of.
Consider the phenomenon of female orgasm closer. With an orgasm, the girl rises in pressure, her pulse and breathing become faster. It represents the apogee of sex, its culmination in the form of a spasm of the muscles of the anterior part of the vagina, and it is these contractions that cause the pleasure that many women, by the way, experience a little longer than men. As a result of orgasm, there is an outflow of blood - if the orgasm does not occur, blood, richly saturated with hormones, leaves the organs of the reproductive system slowly and gradually, because of which problems with the female reproductive system can develop. An unsatisfied woman may experience increased nervous excitement or, conversely, an oppressed state. A prolonged absence of orgasm can cause depression, migraines and even depression.
In the absence of orgasm, there is either a lack of contraction of the muscles of the vagina, or cramping may not cause pleasure. In such cases, even the most passionate male affection may not help the girl achieve long-awaited discharge. Therefore, it is so important to understand what to do if a woman does not experience an orgasm.
The reason for such an unpleasant situation may lie even in the pathology of the female pelvic organs or their poor circulation. In addition, the low sensitivity of the nervous system in this area of the female body or a tense psychological state may be to blame. By the way, often the most significant and difficultly resolved problem is precisely the psychological state. In this case, it is worth focusing on the techniques and methods of relaxation.
Anorgasmia
In medicine, there is a special term for the name of the condition, which determines the absence of an orgasm in a woman during intercourse - anorgasmia. This feature is a fairly common female disorder. Even provided that the woman is positively disposed towards her partner and excited, she can still experience this condition.
Anorgasmia should not be confused with frigidity, which is characterized by the complete absence of any interest in sex and sexual relations. With anorgasmia, a woman feels excited, she enjoys sex from both the physical and emotional sides, but does not experience orgasm.
In this case, maybe you don’t have to wonder what to do if you don’t have an orgasm.
Degree of lack of orgasm
Do not try to answer the question of what to do if you do not have an orgasm during the period when the sexual life is just beginning: for some time, not experiencing an orgasm at the very beginning is quite normal. If a woman’s sexual life is regular enough, then from time to time she will begin to more and more clearly understand what exactly affects the manifestation of her orgasm, and gradually develop the correct algorithm of sexual influences.
One way or another, anorgasmia, although it is within the normal range, can still be a symptom of some disease. Experts distinguish three levels of anorgasmia:
- Orgasm is completely absent, but at the same time, the girl enjoys having sex.
- A woman is indifferent to sex, sexual desire is not observed, orgasm does not occur.
- A woman experiences pain from sex.
Moreover, anorgasmia can also be of various types:
- Absolute (there is no orgasm during sexual intercourse or during stimulation of intimate zones).
- Partial (masturbation is able to bring it to orgasm, sex - no).
- Relative (an orgasm occurs only with a certain partner, in a certain position or with some specific actions: for example, some women experience an orgasm by doing a blowjob).
Also, anorgasmia can be primary and secondary. The primary case is when a woman does not overtake an orgasm from the very beginning of a sexual life. The secondary, respectively, is the acquired effect in the form of certain life circumstances of a woman.
Sometimes the lack of orgasm is associated with hypolibidemia - a decrease in the level of sexual desire, or even alibidemia - its complete disappearance.
Some women admit to having an orgasm while doing a blowjob - why not, if it pleases both the girl and the partner?
Ways and methods to resolve the problem
A woman during sexual contact usually finds herself in a more passive role: the pace, frequency and other features usually lie on the shoulders of the man. Therefore, often the erogenous zones of a woman do not receive sufficient stimulation. But sometimes it’s enough just to change the pose, to stimulate the clitoris or the external part of the vagina, as a woman will experience an orgasm.
There are several ways to get the reaction you want from the body. Complexes greatly interfere with many women. Having seen enough of the bodies from magazine covers, it can be difficult for girls to accept that everything in the mirror is not so perfect. But we must not forget that the gloss is thoroughly retouched, and even pop stars are full of small and large imperfections, carefully hidden from the eyes of ordinary people. It is worth taking an example from celebrities and believing that each body is beautiful, and especially in the eyes of a beloved partner.
If, against the background of problems with orgasm, complexes begin to develop, it is worth trying special exercises for the muscles of the vagina. This is a very useful practice, which will be useful not only in the process of getting an orgasm during sex with a partner, but will also contribute to painless childbirth in the future. Kegel exercises are well suited for these purposes.
It does not hurt to experiment with poses: it often happens that sufficient stimulation is not achieved due to an incorrect tilt axis. One has only to try to change the usual missionary position to a doggy style or horsewoman, as the question of orgasm can disappear by itself.
You can try aphrodisiacs such as strawberries, red wine or grapes. These products contribute to the production of sex hormones, and also cause a rush of blood to the desired organs. Long pre-caresses, erotic massage, as well as joint viewing of erotic films help well. Often, a long and convincing prelude is the key to a long-awaited orgasm.
Doctor's opinion
Modern doctors have a large amount of information about a variety of sexual disorders in women, so every girl has the opportunity to get rid of anorgasmia. First, make a comprehensive diagnosis. In the treatment of anorgasmia, it is important to exclude other diseases if there are concomitant symptoms (depression, chronic fatigue, genital diseases, etc.).
Treatment is usually done with the help of psychotherapy. Sometimes doctors advise to include medications, such as tranquilizers or antidepressants, in the treatment. Hormones, special vitamins, and some stimulants may be prescribed. If a woman is diagnosed with a change in the sensitivity of certain zones, local treatment of the problem is possible.
Many experts consider physiotherapy as effective, such as hydrotherapy, vibration massage, and electrical stimulation. If scars or other genital defects were found during the diagnostic process, surgical treatment may be suggested.
Treatment may be accompanied by a visit to a gynecologist and sex therapist.
Orgasm and hormones
In fact, there is no mythic hormone responsible for orgasm, but many substances that are associated with pleasure affect sensations during orgasm. For example, a lack of oxytocin can make it difficult to achieve orgasm - this can happen with depression, stress, as well as with autism, menopause, or even AIDS.
Also, a lack of testosterone causes a decrease in the sensitivity of the genitals, which, of course, prevents orgasm.
With an orgasm in the woman’s blood, the level of prolactin increases, which is responsible for the release of mother’s milk - it inhibits excitation. High prolactin levels in the blood contribute to lower libido in women.
Evolutionary meaning
The desire to have sex, according to the observations of evolutionary biologists, is practically not found in the animal world without reference to the phase of the cycle and the ability to reproduce offspring. In their opinion, this unique feature of man arose in connection with the fact that our children grow up very slowly, and over the course of a large number of years they need the support of both parents. Sex in this case plays the role of a mechanism for maintaining good relations in the parental couple, and orgasm is a tool to strengthen the affection of partners to each other. So the desire for sex solely for the sake of reproduction - rather, this is the lot of animals. People are more likely to have sex for pleasure.
Girls who decide to turn to their doctor with their problem should keep in mind that they will most likely be sent for a comprehensive examination, which will reveal the physiological or psychological causes of lack of orgasm. If the cause is not found, the doctor can offer a program for awakening sensuality, which will help a woman discover her own erogenous places, teach her how to concentrate on sensations in the intimate zone, suggest quality methods of masturbation and massage, and also help to study subconscious fears or problems associated with sex. One should not be afraid to talk about sex, because this important aspect of human life plays a huge role not only in the fate of every person, but also makes a certain contribution to the evolution and development of the right values. A full sexual life is the key to the mental and physical health of each of us.