The profession of a taxi driver is no end for inventing all kinds of jokes and aphorisms. What do our Russian folk writers (and not only Russians) do. And the jokes come out just awesome. And if you estimate that the lion's share of all invented jokes about taxi drivers are taken from life, this makes them even more interesting. Let's āremove the foamā from the funniest and most common together.
About the profession of ātaxi driverā and why it is so in demand among jokers
There are a huge number of people in a taxi per day. And what types you canāt see enough! In any way. Plus the taxi drivers themselves are a dime a dozen. It is clear that with such a cross and a huge fleet of jokes about taxi drivers there should be a whole lot. About only their arrogance on the road a bunch of jokes filmed. In addition, taxi drivers themselves are very talkative people. And if the taxi drivers themselves didnāt dismantle the tales and cases from taxi services, then a huge number of them are folded and removed by the same passengers.
Jokes from the life of taxi drivers
Such jokes about taxi drivers - a dime a dozen, you will not list everything. You can issue a whole series of volumes, although it still probably will not fit into any library.
When boarding a taxi, the taxi driver offers the passenger candy. He refuses. The taxi driver nods and says:
- Well done, that he refused. And then there was a case, one taxi driver stuffed everyone with sweets with clonid filling, and then robbed everyone and threw them out on the street. Right in the cold. Three froze to death ...
The further trip took place in deathly silence.
***
A taxi comes from the Caucasus. On the way, a black man slows down the car. The taxi driver turns to the passenger and says:
- Toss the smoked one?
āIt makes no difference to me,ā the passenger answers.
The taxi driver stops, and the black man in the driverās window says:
- Countryman, can you get to the nearest metro?
***
The couple stops the taxi, and the man asks the driver:
- How far to the market?
- The steward.
- And with the wife if?
- The steward.
The man turns to the woman and says:
- So that's it, you fool, you're not worth a damn thing!
***
A couple are riding in a taxi in the back seat - some businessman with a prostitute who he just picked up. On the way, he tries to calculate the payment on a calculator and, having conjured on the smartphoneās display, he says:
- In short, three minutes is enough for me, it turns out I owe you a fifty dollars.
The prostitute is indignant:
- What? We have a minimum - an hour, so drive a thousand and that's it!
āAnd why am I supposed to give you this thing?ā
- Why so! You can use an hour!
āWell, I said that it only takes me three minutes to do this.ā What the rest of the hour to do?
- Lets talkā¦
He again to the calculator, and then indignantly:
- Figase, talkers! As for international roaming!
Jokes about taxi drivers
They are also a lot. Let's try to select a couple of the funniest jokes about taxi drivers, topical at all times.
***
The Chukchi gets in a taxi, calls the address, and the car starts off. To break the awkward silence, the Chukchi pats his chest and says:
- Chukchi - a hunter!
The driver smirks and answers:
āI'm a hunter too!ā
And he taps on the steering wheel, hinting, they say, that a money hunter.
During the conversation, distracted, the taxi driver at the last moment notices the old woman crossing the road. He barely turned around, having traveled around the old woman, but, looking in the rearview mirror, with surprise and horror noticed that the old woman somehow was lying in the middle of the road. But he could have sworn he traveled around a woman! And here the Chukchi voices from the passenger seat:
- Uhh! Your bad hunter! If my door had not opened, the grandmother would have gone to the taiga!
***
A man catches a taxi, sits down. Drove asks:
- Where are you going?
- What other boas? I donāt need any boas!
āI say where do you need to go?ā
- Well, if you urgently need boas, then let's go to boas first ...
Forgetful taxi drivers
It so happens that taxi drivers sometimes really lose their customers along the route. Today a good popularity rating (316 thousand views) is gaining a joke about a taxi driver who forgot a passenger somewhere along the way to Kazan. Let's see him together and laugh.
Yeah. Drive 10 km and find the loss of a client to the driver was probably very interesting!
Taxi drivers and GPS navigators
Taxi drivers are very friendly with navigators and use them to perfection. But despite this, the joke about the navigator and Caucasian taxi driver, who incorrectly pronounces the final destination, is gaining extraordinary popularity (27 thousand views). Let's get a look.
It can be seen that the scene is staged, but it was planned well, and you can laugh completely. Weāll reassure those who are going to take a taxi - you have absolutely nothing to fear. In fact, all taxi drivers are well aware of their job, perfectly oriented in any city and without navigators. And along the way they will surely tell you a couple of new jokes. Itās in their blood.