Whatever the role the adult has chosen, no matter how he has shown himself to society, in any case he seeks to build strong and reliable relations in society. This is a relationship with colleagues, friends, family, partner. High relationships - what are they? What is the chance to build such strong, reliable ties in the modern world? How to become happy thanks to love and trust, and not to money and material wealth? Let's talk about this in this article .
It all starts from childhood
It is at a young age that the foundation is laid for how a person will see and build his life in the future. Sometimes an example is the template of his family, but if there is no worthy example, then at a tender age, the kid draws what his adult life will look like.
What does each of us want from society? To be respected, significant, worthy of merit, beloved. It does not matter the social level and prosperity, since in reality we are valued and loved not at all for this.
Any person strives to build a high level of interpersonal relationships. This is such a relationship that guarantees self-confidence, dignity and helps to realize yourself as a person. But in order to get something, something needs to be given. What do you need to give people to get a strong and high relationship ?
If not tall, which ones?
Let's imagine those relationships that are completely opposite to high. Low, base, vulgar, unreliable, burdened with lies, betrayal, seeking personal gain. Horrible list, right? Meanwhile, by the age of twenty, everyone will have time to be in the role of a deceiver, and to be deceived. Do not rush to put on a halo - you also had to behave dishonestly towards someone. Have you really not lied or tried to benefit from communicating with people?
Relations of a high order are something to strive for, but it is impossible to build them if you do not know what relations of a different level can be. We study in the schools we are familiar with, but the "school of life" plays a much larger role for the development of everyone as an individual. And not the lessons of physics or mathematics will be useful to us in adulthood, but how we behaved with classmates, how we reacted to grievances and ridicule, and what we allowed ourselves to do with the weak.
What is happening in your life now?
High relations between people seem to be something pure, spotless, mutual. And it cannot be that with some of you everything was just like that, and with others you would allow yourself to deceive or pretend to be .
Look at your life critically. Do you live as you would like , or as you have in society? Most likely, the second option. This is not bad and not good, thatâs how society works. We smile at the unloved boss or sometimes do what we donât want, so as not to spoil the friendship with a friend. Someone is cheating on a long-unloved wife - not to ruin the family? And someone is deceiving a friend and business partner - his shirt is closer to his body. This is the norm in society, but is it the norm in principle? Until you are honest with anyone, you will not be able to build a high relationship. And how are they, in fact, so good that you need to build them?
The cheater will become cheated
You can talk as much as you like about karma or universal retribution for any mistake, but so far this has not been proved in practice, all these words are just empty talk. By the way, the way it is - take a look around and look for examples from your own life. Everything that we do good or bad, comes back to us in the same way. That is why sometimes the situation seems to make us behave in a bad way, so that we can independently verify that everything that we do will return as a boomerang .
Not necessarily the lesson is, they say, "if you steal, they will also steal from you." The âanswerâ can be in any and the most unexpected form - health problems, failures in personal life, at work. The most painful "boomerang" is considered to be problems in children or grandchildren. In ancient times, with the curse of the witch, troubles did not call the offender, but his descendants.
The âBoomerang Law" is an immutable rule of life that we can observe daily. But above we did not give the most pleasant examples. However, it must be borne in mind that for good deeds we will certainly expect the same pleasant reward. This is the essence of the biblical statement that turn to the one who hits you on the right cheek. Sometimes humility and acceptance of a situation turn out to be much more successful for a person than aggression, revenge, and an eye for eye strategy. The offender will certainly pay for the offense inflicted on you. But we must keep in mind that if we strive for high relations, then there is another important law, without which nothing will come of it.
What to do to get only a ânice boomerangâ
It was said above that everything good done by us will definitely come back. It is, if you acted for free, and not for profit.
The highest level of relations between people is characterized by complete disinterestedness. Test yourself even now - but what do you do today for a partner or friend, do you just do it, or expect an answer ?
The essence of the âboomerangâ is that no matter what good deeds you commit, you will not get the same answer while you wait for it. Itâs better not to do anything special especially if you later expect âgiftsâ from life. Of course, the person you are gifting can bring benefits, but this will already be market relations.
Higher and higher - in the relationship between the sexes
Particularly noteworthy are those relationships that are built between a man and a woman. Very rarely, the first experience is successful, rather, it is like a school, and our partner is like a teacher. The faster we learn and understand the meaning of âlessonsâ, the more successfully our subsequent relationship will develop. Do not be afraid of failures in your personal life - they are inevitable and necessary first of all to you. Otherwise, how do you learn to value and love your partner?
Mutual respect between partners meets the highest requirements in terms of building a joint life. Sexual desire, passion, interest, admiration - all these feelings and qualities become dull with time. But love will not pass if your relationship is saturated with mutual respect. Importantly, respect must come from both sides. If you listen to your partner, but he does not hear you, a constructive dialogue will not work. Therefore, another sign of high relations between partners is self-respect. Do not let underestimate or offend you even those whom you love more than life. Such relationships will quickly boil down to the base, where you will be assigned the role of the victim .
Give compliments
Do you want to become the blacksmith of your happiness and be above the desire to receive profit? Do you think that a high order relationship is for you, but donât know where to start? Of course, this can be learned. Start doing something pleasant for those you love the most. Your parents, half, friend or child. To do is not to buy or give. It can be words of approval, praise.
The results of research by psychologists from the German Ruhr University prove that it is kind words and unexpected compliments that make relationships stronger, literally cementing them. Made a sharp, albeit fair, remark? It's okay, smooth out the unpleasant residue with kind words, and then the person does not harbor anger.
Speaking of how dear a person is to you, you will evoke the brightest emotions in him. Seeing his joy, you will want to talk more and more, cook something tasty, make an unexpected gift. Believe that soon you will be led not by personal gain, but by the pleasure that you bring someone joy .
The ability to build a high level of interpersonal relations characterizes an extremely mature personality who does not pursue his own profit.
It is very important to be yourself
We figured out how to reach a new level of relations with loved ones and loved ones. But what about colleagues and not so close friends? Communication with them is a significant part of life
Here, too, there is a simple rule that everyone can easily follow. All you need is just to be yourself. The boss infuriates you, but you are fooling? What if I change my job and go to it with pleasure?
A friend asks for something that is difficult for you to do? Believe that there is no explanation easier than your reluctance. You do not have to explain the reasons and make excuses, just refuse if you do not want to do it .
This advice will not make you a universal favorite at first. But those around you will understand that you are an honest, direct and impersonal person. If you need to be loved for helpfulness or playing for society, then itâs too early for you to build a high relationship.
Summarizing
Each of us wants to be valued, loved and respected both by close people and in society. When in relationships and communication there is no search for benefits, lies, games, then we are at the highest level of communication with people to the mutual pleasure of everyone. However, no high relations will work out if you do not follow the basic principles of their construction:
- While you are lying or disingenuous, even with one person, you do not go to the level of high relations.
- In all and for all, the boomerang law applies. This means that the universe works on the principle of "both you and you." Regarding the high relations, the boomerang law is very pleasant - all the good things that we have done will return a hundredfold.
- However, there is one thing - good things must be done for free, without expecting anything in return. Otherwise, you are no longer building high, but market paid relations.
- Remember the pillars of high relations - respect for yourself and your partner, gratuitousness in everything, participation. If you do not have money to buy gifts, then replace them with pleasant words. A compliment and well-deserved praise is the best cement of high relations.