The Tajik wedding is traditionally celebrated on such a scale that it has become a real national problem. Even the president delivered a speech to his people, urging them to reduce the cost of the celebration, not to take huge loans that have been extinguished for decades. Will they listen to him? Time will tell.
And now let's talk about what traditions require such huge funds, and how to organize a Tajik wedding in the right way.
If you follow all the traditions and rituals, the celebration will take more than one day, and even more than one week.
Matchmaking and engagement
As in most Islamic states, Tajik parents themselves find their chosen ones for their children. They decide it among themselves, agree to arrange a wedding and send matchmakers. And the future bridegroom can find out about this only a month after the matchmaking, on the day of the engagement.
In the evening, his mother goes to the bride’s house and carries a pilaf dish with a tortilla. A gala dinner is organized for her, at which the elders of the clan and numerous guests are announced about their engagement. This is followed by prayers and the breaking of the tortillas. Now the young are considered the official bride and groom.
Ottoman Paz Kunon - delivery of kalym
The Tajik wedding traditionally does not do without handing kalym to the parents of the future wife. No matter how poor the bridegroom, he must present precious gifts, and only after that a day of future marriage is appointed, most often in the fall.
Before the Tajik bride, the question is rarely how to choose the right wedding dress, because the rituals imply traditional clothes, albeit not very comfortable. Moreover, according to tradition, a young wife should wear this wedding attire 40 days after the wedding.
Nikokh - the ceremony of marriage
State registration of marriage is not mandatory, but the Tajik wedding cannot do without the Nikokh ceremony.
On this day in the morning, in the families of young people, the whole village is treated to pilaf. The festive feast lasts until the evening, and at this time the bride and groom are preparing for the wedding - each in his own house. The bride is dressed up in traditional wedding clothes, and she awaits the arrival of the groom. In a conspicuous place, all her outfits and special amulets are hung: red pepper for protection against evil spirits, a spoon for the birth of a mistress's daughter and a knife for the birth of a brave warrior son.
When the groom arrives, the bride comes out to him, surrounded by girlfriends, they call the mullah for the ceremony of marriage. He reads special lines from the Qur'an to the young people, prays, takes seven shawls from the bride one by one, and each time the groom confirms his consent to marriage. After that, the newlyweds drink water from one goblet, and now they are officially considered husband and wife. The husband must protect his family and provide for it, and the wife must obey her husband in everything.
Wedding feast
The Tajik wedding continues with a feast that lasts three days at the bride’s house, and another three days at the groom’s house. A thousand guests is the usual scope for such a holiday. If 200-300 people are invited, then a wedding by Tajik standards is considered very modest.
Tables should be lined with dishes so that there is no empty space left. Even if guests can’t eat everything and the food goes bad, it’s not important. Tajiks are very afraid of condemnation from neighbors and acquaintances, so they try to show guests maximum generosity and luxury.
The most traditional dish, without which no celebration takes place, is pilaf. But they serve it only at the end of the feast, when the guests are going to go home.
The role of the host is Baderhan, an elderly respected person. He must be able to beautifully and figuratively make toasts, give the floor to all guests, give signals for holding folk games and dances.
On the third day of the wedding, Baderhan removes the veil from the bride - this means the beginning of a new life for her. After that, the holiday moves to the house of the young husband. On the sixth day of the wedding, the bride’s relatives come to the groom’s house and spend the night there - this is how the long rite ends.
Honeymoon
A Tajik wedding, like any other, ends with a honeymoon. It also lasts a very long time - forty days. But young people do not go to exotic countries, but spend this time in the house of a young husband, under one roof with his parents. It is believed that this helps protect the family from the first quarrels and problems.
If you calculate the total time of all wedding rituals, then they take almost two months. And the list of financial costs includes not only generous treats of numerous guests, but also transfer of kalym, gifts to the bride, expensive wedding dresses, home decoration. Therefore, a Tajik wedding is more than a serious event, divorces after which occur only in isolated cases.