Be realistic: don't tell the truth.
So said Stanislav Jerzy Lets, a famous poet and satirist, author of the book "Untidy Thoughts in Translation". And just a man who may have lied to his woman in the same way as the most ordinary male ...
After all, you also once encountered a male lie? Alas, every woman is familiar with this unpleasant sensation and its aftertaste remaining after a lie. According to statistics, 87% of people cheat every day. But today we will only talk about the strong half of humanity. Why do men lie? Consider below.
"Household" lie
She, the man is sure, is only for the good. Imagine the situation: the husband came home from work, the wife asks him to take out the trash, but he, referring to urgent work at the computer, goes to play Dota. The situation is unpleasant for the wife, if she knew the truth, but quite tolerant, she could bear it. In the same way, men lie about the size of their salaries, the amount of alcohol drunk, and other little things. Such a lie does not cause significant harm to the couple.
Its reason is simple - elementary fear. The man is afraid of the scandal that his soulmate will arrange, learning that he did not really stay in the office, but went to the bathhouse as a friend. A small lie saves the nerves of both spouses and protects against chronic misunderstanding. Usually, the roots of the fear of conflict go back to distant childhood, when the boy was forced to lie to his parents so that he would not be punished for misconduct. After all, if the child is not given the right to make a mistake, he is forced to get out and lie. And this need accompanies him all his life.
Treason
The second reason why a man lies to his woman is treason, in which he does not want to admit. Some representatives of the stronger sex are sure that several women are needed for happiness. They systematically cheat on their wives and are forced to constantly lie to them. Among the "symptoms" indicating the presence of a mistress, chilling for the spouse in an intimate life, sudden changes in the daily routine, loss of interest in family affairs. Fortunately, only 21% of 87% of lying men resort to lies because of cheating.
Such men most often doubt their male viability and assert themselves at the expense of numerous mistresses. Or it is vital for them to change the subject of their adoration, so that their life does not begin to seem a routine.
Desire to seem better
Why is a man lying to a woman without apparent need? Perhaps he just wants to put himself in a better light. This phenomenon is characteristic of an emerging relationship, when a gentleman wants to impress an lady. It is hard to say what exactly he will lie. It all depends on his imagination. However, most often men exaggerate their own capital, victories on the personal front. They are sure that this will make them more significant in the eyes of the chosen one.
The reason for this behavior is a tendency to narcissism, which is a kind of mental disorder. Narcissus dreams of worship from a woman, so she lies, she lies and she lies again. Although within reasonable limits, this lie is not so terrible.
The reasons are again hidden in education. There are only two options: either the mother annoyed her son with excessive custody, or the parents did not participate in his upbringing at all.
Lies for the woman herself
Many women tend to ask their partner questions about their appearance. And if a man gives the wrong answer, it is fraught with consequences. Such questions as “Am I prettier than Monica Bellucci?”, “Am I better?”, “Does this hair color suit me?” by definition, they have only one correct answer. And even if he believes that his woman is somewhat inferior to Monica Bellucci and has recovered one hundred grams, he will not dare to voice his opinion.
In addition, many men prefer to lie on their own initiative. They often make thoughtless compliments, stamped and banal, but always incredibly pleasant to a woman.
A lie for the good
Is there a lie for good? Only if the beloved deliberately lied to you to make a pleasant surprise. Such a deception a woman will not only forgive, she will not consider it a lie.
Pathological liar
Why is a man constantly lying? Perhaps he is just a pathological liar. Do you remember the Jim Carrey movie "Liar"? The hero lied to everyone: his ex-wife, son, boss, employees and even secretary. This is one of the most striking examples of a pathological liar in American cinema.
They usually lie for personal gain or boredom. They like to embellish the events of their lives. In part, they themselves believe in what they say. Therefore, catching him on a hoax is almost impossible. Relations with such a person are very difficult to build.
When does the risk of male lies increase?
Why is a man lying, although this had not been observed before? The main reasons are as follows.
- He became bored in a relationship. He feels the need to take a break from them in another company. But a woman will never pat him on the head for such a confession. Understanding this, your man will never dare to admit that he went with friends to a bar to drink beer. Although you thought that his mother. Entertainment in the company of another woman can also be included in this paragraph.
- He is trying to attract the attention of his beloved. Especially if he feels that her attitude towards him is getting cold.
- Quarrels in relationships and constant scandals initiated by the wife explain why a man is lying to a woman. Psychologists say that he is trying to avoid a quarrel.
How to deal with male lies?
Now that we have found out why men lie to girls, we will consider whether it is possible to wean a loved one from the habit of lying. It is important to determine who he is lying to: only his wife or all friends and acquaintances. In the second case, practically nothing can be done. This habit is formed in a boy at an early age and often cannot be corrected. However, psychologists advise why a man is lying through a word, you should not find out - he himself will not be able to explain his motives to you. Try to respond to every lie. For example, forget to cook dinner if you caught it in a lie. But when he begins to tell the truth, encourage him - treat yourself to delicious, do massage, etc.
However, when a man lies only to his wife or lover, this indicates the presence of problems in the relationship. And you can solve them if the couple finds the strength to talk about it. Call a partner for a frank conversation. Perhaps he is afraid of scandals, afraid of your misunderstanding. And if you learn not to respond to some of his misconduct with excessive emotionality, perhaps he will begin to trust you more, talk about his problems and mistakes without fear of judgment. This will take your relationship to a new, deeper level.
Finally
Every man once lied to his woman. And if this is not a universal scale lie, it can be understood and forgiven. But if he lies systematically and for no apparent reason, you will have to take decisive action. Otherwise, all your life you will doubt every word of your beloved.