We are adults and independent, smart and practical. However, we still need emotionally intense communication with our own kind. The dialogue of two friends is a necessary everyday pleasure. Friends help us to feel included in society and needed. Even ordinary shallow interactions are crucial for mental health. What should be the dialogue of friends for people to be happy?
Firstly, in communication, the degree of activity should be comfortable for both. Traditionally, it is believed that it is necessary that both partners speak, taking turns letting each other speak out . In fact, many people feel comfortable enough when one speaks, and the second monosyllabic answers. Such a dialogue is not at all flawed - the second partner may be more tired at the time of communication and, in principle, less sociable, but communication is still important for him. And such a dialogue between two friends is quite acceptable and normal. Perhaps this is the custom of this pair of friends, perhaps, when discussing another topic, the second partner is more active. Often people get genuine pleasure from stories on their favorite topics, although they themselves are basically poorly versed in them.
Secondly, in a dialogue, friends must respect each other. More precisely, to observe the boundaries of personality and have a certain tact. Sometimes it seems that friends almost quarrel and interfere in each other's affairs . But this does not spoil the relationship, how so? The fact is that at a certain stage of friendship, people "test each other for strength" and establish the boundaries of what is permissible in a relationship. Often these boundaries also differ from generally accepted norms and may seem disrespectful to an outsider. In fact, some game with boundaries serves as a means to show proximity to a person.
Thirdly, the dialogue of two friends should be intellectually informative and interesting. Usually one of the partners is more informed, and the second should be able to properly respond to the information provided. As a rule, they try to present information to friends in the most accessible form, so it is important for the listener to note that he understands or is unclear in order to understand the message conveyed. Not always for a successful dialogue requires great novelty. Often friends like to remember their experiences together or repeat each other’s successful phrases . Psychologists have established that we choose as best friends those with whom we have approximately the same level of need for novelty. If novelty is not enough, a friend is perceived as boring, if there is too much new, it seems that your friend is “loading” you with excess information.
Fourthly, the dialogue of two friends should correspond to the emotional needs of both friends. The emotional needs of different people are often very different, as a rule, in a harmonious pair of friends, only one of the partners gives out a lot of emotions. The second is usually the consumer. To varying degrees, we need emotions and emotions of different qualities. For example, a grandmother at the entrance often seeks cause for indignation, and she needs her friends in order to have as much of this feeling in the dialogue as possible. Or a teenager is looking for opportunities to express his enthusiasm for music - and enters the fan club of a particular group.
Fifth, communication should be useful. This item echoes informational content, but is still slightly different. Often we are most interested in people who in practice did what we only dreamed or thought about. And the dialogue with such people becomes a little one-sided, but extremely interesting. The main thing is to try to give the interlocutor something else, besides a sense of significance, so that he will be further interested in communicating with us.
“Let's talk, my friend” - and we will feel necessary, we will help others to feel better. After all, sometimes we don’t have enough communication, although getting it is not so difficult. Just come to a friend and say that you need him - often we just feel shy to sincerely ask each other about communication. Overcome the barrier and you will feel better in society.