What can an adult man take offense? By asking such a question to your loved one, you will most likely receive an answer that this behavior is not typical for representatives of the strong half of humanity. They will prove that nothing can offend them. However, very often men behave like children: they can be hurt by unsuccessful jokes and inattention, quarrels unreasonable in their opinion. Any little thing can hurt a gentle heart of a man. Today we propose to talk about how to find out the causes of resentment, what to do in order to avoid them. Let's talk about what to do if a guy is very offended.
What is a grudge?
Psychologists say: it’s impossible to offend a person , he chooses whether to offend him or not. Very often, resentment becomes a person’s reactions to certain actions or words. However, do not throw off all responsibility on the one who is offended. In the power of every woman not to commit acts that annoy her chosen one. Relationships are always the work of two people. In order not to commit offensive actions, you just need to know your partner well, to understand what situations he reacts especially sharply to, what words can hurt him, with what feelings you can not relate to him. In the event that you will be able to achieve full understanding, trust and respect, you can avoid resentment.
What can be hidden under the guise of resentment?
Is the guy offended and ignores? What to do? Psychologists say: if your beloved does not get in touch for a long time, do not rush into the pool with your head, you should not think that he harbored an insult to you. It is possible that now he has a lot of work, problems with management, difficulties with the car or his parents. The reasons why a young person behaves this way can be an incredible amount. That is why in the first place it is important to just talk to him: to find out if everything is in order at work, how his friends and relatives are doing. Ask him how his four-wheeled or two-wheeled friend is doing. There are frequent cases when the cause of a change in the mood and behavior of a man becomes that his gas tank is leaking or the washer is frozen, and therefore he is trying to find a solution to these problems. Do not beat the bells even if your lover does not write as often as before. Perhaps he does not have enough time, maybe it is easier for him to call once than to write 10 messages.
Please note: never cause scandals and tantrums without understanding the essence of the problem. Do not try to raise your tone or call a man for emotions, do not threaten him or manipulate him. Just figure out what is happening in the life of your loved one. It is possible that right now he needs support, but hesitate to ask about it from you.
Reasons for Resentment
What to do if a guy is offended? First you need to deal with the reasons that can seriously hook a representative of the stronger sex. We offer to consider them in more detail in order to be able to avoid unreasonable claims!
Hobby negative
This reason can be called one of the most serious for male insults. In the event that you sincerely love your partner, you treat his desires with respect. Even if you find a hockey game, fishing or computer games a waste of time, never show your attitude to it. Take an interest, praise your loved one in case of luck - and you can avoid a lot of disagreement and resentment!
Jealousy for friends
Many girls believe that the friends of a young man are people who interfere with rest and communication. For this reason, young ladies often protect their beloved from contacts with loved ones. The result, of course, is serious resentment. Of course, because of the love for his soulmate, a guy may not immediately show his companion his displeasure. Psychologists recommend giving your partner the opportunity to spend part of the time as he wants, otherwise he may feel impaired.
Gift dissatisfaction
Very often there are situations when a guy takes offense at the fact that his girlfriend shows neglect of his gift. Of course, it is very difficult to gratefully accept a present that is inappropriate or useless. In order to prevent this from happening, you can just hint a man in advance about what exactly you expect from him. However, if the gift is already presented, try talking to the man later. Keep in mind that talking head-on can seriously hurt him. Use your female cunning and charm, apply hints. This is the only way you can show a man that you value his attention and care for you, gently submit ideas for new surprises.
Circle of friends
A guy can hurt not only your actions or words. If your friends or colleagues allow yourself frivolous communication with you, loudly discuss your man and his shortcomings with him, this can play a cruel joke in your relationship. Please note: your relationship with a young man concerns only the two of you, and therefore do not try to discuss intimate details at work or with friends. By the way, very often there are situations when a guy is jealous and offended. What to do in this case? First, do not give him cause for jealousy. Secondly, try to talk with him: explain to him that you do not need anyone except him. It is important to confirm your words with actions so that he finally calms down. Explain to him as lucidly as possible that jealousy is an evil that destroys relationships. Psychologists say: more intelligible - does not mean a dictatorial tone. More intelligible means with feeling, gently, but in detail and with examples.
Other reasons
Often claims arise even when a girl spends too much time in the company of her friends, weakly shows her feelings and emotions. What to do if a guy is offended by a lack of tenderness and warmth? Just try to show your love, give your loved one attention and care. Never speak in a harsh manner about sexual dissatisfaction. Men talk of such conversations and claims as a blow below the belt. Because of this, they are even ready to part with their partner.
How do offended men behave?
Is the guy offended and ignores? What to do? The psychology of relationships is known that the male character is very different from the female. You can understand that a man was offended by several signs: he can be cold for several days, talk a little and be in a bad mood. Such qualities as isolation, concentration and gloom are shown. If the day before you did something wrong, said taunts to him, you can be sure that he is offended. But offended women behave completely differently: they cry, arrange tantrums, complain to friends. It is worth noting that discharged and cried a little, the woman quickly forgives the offense. Men behave very differently: they can continue to frown for a long time. Do not panic, think that love has passed, and your partner has another girl. With such actions you can do even more stupid things, aggravate the situation!
How to behave?
Psychologists conventionally divided human characters into four types. Depending on the temperament, young people can give different reactions to the same actions and deeds. We suggest talking about what to do if a guy is offended - a melancholic, sanguine, phlegmatic or choleric.
Let's start with the melancholy. They may be depressed for weeks. The fact is that in the psychology of people of this type, the desire to take offense was originally laid down. They are extremely fond of being sad, finding reasons for sadness. Psychologists advise leaving such a man for a while alone, he himself will offer a truce.
In the case of sanguine people, the situation is much simpler, because they are very quickly offended, but no less quickly make contact. In order to beg forgiveness from them, you can just cook a delicious dinner or have a romantic evening. Received positive emotions will allow the sanguine to forget about their grievances.
One of the most mysterious types of men, psychologists call phlegmatic people. They can accumulate insults in themselves for a long time, be silent, and therefore it is incredibly difficult to understand what exactly happens to them. Dissatisfaction can accumulate over months and even years, in the end, it will come out in the form of psychological or physical diseases. Communicate with such a man more often, take an interest in his state of mind, so you can notice the problem on time.
What to do if a choleric guy is offended? This type of temperament is one of the most problematic. Such men are constantly in a state of emotional arousal, aggressive and quick-tempered. In family life, they are completely unbearable. Only girls with a strong character will be able to withstand the tricks of choleric. True, this type of people has its advantages: for example, they splash out their emotions and discontent immediately, they are not offended for long.
How to apologize?
The first thing to do is to give the offended man time so that he has time to cool down and reflect on what has happened. The apologies that you will bring immediately after the offensive situation can only lead to new clarifications of the relationship. The optimal pause time is 1-2 days. Only then should action be taken.
What to do if your boyfriend is offended? First, start the conversation first. The conversation should be calm, with an even tone. Tantrums and crying will only aggravate the situation. Admit your guilt sincerely, tell us about your feelings. Please note: do not apologize by phone or in a message, because it will lose its emotional coloring. Is the guy very offended? What to do? Offer the young man a tasty dish, present him a pleasant gift or make a massage. Let him know that you value the relationship with him. But what should not be done is to humiliate and impose. If a person does not want to forgive an insult, do not make excuses, do not panic, do not heat up the relationship. Give him more time, maybe he needs to deal with internal conflicts. When a man is ready for reconciliation, he will find you. You just have to take a step towards him.
Resentment as a way of manipulation
Is the guy constantly offended? What to do in such a situation? Psychologists say that sometimes resentment can be a weapon in the arsenal of a manipulator. The classic tactics of the abuser is as follows: he constantly causes his victim to feel that she humiliated, insulted an innocent guy to the core. In the end, absolutely any action will cause resentment, and the victim will begin to feel guilty constantly. It will be extremely difficult to get rid of the guilt complex, therefore it is better not to bring such a situation. Critically evaluate: was the reason for resentment so serious, or are they just trying to make you guilty. Remember: with those who are constantly offended, it is better not to have any business, and even more so relationships!