Now acquaintance on the Internet, which ended in a happy relationship, or even marriage, will not surprise anyone. But the minus of online communication is that you can’t see the interlocutor in reality and you cannot always understand him correctly. But the indisputable advantage is that all issues can be carefully considered. And so many girls care about what questions a pen guy can ask to avoid scaring him off.
Have personal meetings
Much depends on whether those who correspond, in person or not, have met. When a person has been seen at least once, then, reading his messages, it is quite easy to imagine his facial expressions and reaction to something. Therefore, it is easier for such a person to select the right questions. If you have never seen a person, it is very difficult to understand how he reacts to certain topics in reality - with sarcasm, irritation or good humor. Messages and letters do not convey all the emotions that can be seen in person.
But even if a personal meeting was, it is also important how long ago it was. If the meeting was in early childhood, and now people are already over thirty, then this is not a completely personal meeting, since then they were completely different people.
The topics raised in the correspondence
Having raised a slippery topic once, you overcome the barrier, and the next time it is easier to do. In addition, there is already an idea of how the interlocutor will react to this and what is his attitude to this topic. The hardest thing is to raise new topics for the first time, and it’s best to do it at the right time - when the conversation has already flared up and proceeds smoothly. If you feel tension or busyness of the interlocutor with something important, then this is not the best time to ask hot questions. If correspondence is combined with telephone communication, it is better to speak on such topics first by telephone.
What questions can you ask a guy
We must try to formulate them in such a way as to learn more about him, but without exerting pressure and, importantly, not letting him get bored.
Here is an example of what questions a guy can ask when communicating by correspondence:
- What did you dream of becoming in your childhood?
- How would you spend a big cash prize?
- Do you like to travel and how many where have you been?
- What is the craziest thing you have done in your life?
- How did a relationship with a best friend begin?
- What is your favorite writer or director if you do not like to read books?
- Are you an early bird or an owl?
- What area do you work in?
- Do you like your job?
- Do you like to walk around your hometown?
It may happen that one of them accidentally reveals unpleasant memories and the person does not want to answer. This is normal, he has the right to it, it is not worth putting pressure on him. But in general, these questions can be called successful, since you can learn a little about them from the inner world of a person without invading personal space. Questions “What is your favorite color?” or "what is your favorite car make?" similar to questions from school profiles, the answers to them will not tell you anything about the interlocutor.
Relationship Status
You need to understand what kind of relationship with this guy. Which direction is the correspondence moving. Perhaps the guy is just interested in talking with you as a pleasant conversationalist, in friendly status. Guys, unlike women, usually speak more clearly about their intentions.
And therefore, usually, if the guy’s interest is romantic, then the girl will definitely understand this. He will compliment her and communicate in a similar spirit. But if in doubt, it is better to ask this question directly, men love directness. To ask evasively about whether he is in a relationship right now will not hurt either. The answer to this question can decide the fate of all correspondence and save time for a girl who was waiting for something more.
Pen pal
If it is still clear that the guy considers the girl to be just a pen pal, then she needs to understand for herself whether such communication is interesting and why she needs it. It’s not worth hoping that he changes his mind, guys are not inclined to this.
If the girl herself wants to communicate with him as a girlfriend, but at the same time appreciates his masculine view of the world, then it is better to set this pace right away. We must immediately try to remove as many barriers as possible and discuss everything in a row. With friends, people are often more frank and natural than with lovers. And sometimes they even share their sexual victories. If there is no resentment in the soul and there was no secret desire to get something more than friendship from this guy, then you should not think that such correspondence is useless. Finding a good friend is sometimes harder than finding love.
What are you interested in
It’s better to ask what really interests. It’s boring and ineffective to ask template questions like “what school did you study in?”, “What city was born in?” In order to talk at least about something. This information is usually important if the person has become at least somehow close. You need to ask about what characterizes him as a person specifically at this stage of time. For example, where he works, what he is fond of, how he spends his leisure time and what his plans are for the near future.
When communicating with a person, if there is a desire to get closer to him, it is better to focus not on the differences, they will always be, but on the points of contact, they play the main role in communication.
How not to scare a guy away
So what questions can you ask a pen guy so as not to scare him away once and for all? You can go from the opposite and use those questions that can never be asked. Here are the top 10 questions:
- About his past relationships and how many he had.
- Constantly ask him if he is satisfied with everything in the correspondence.
- About the financial situation, about what real estate and cars he owns, what his salary is.
- About how many children he wants and how soon.
- About relations with parents.
- On political and religious views.
- Is he ready to support his future wife.
- Who will be more important to him - a wife or mother.
- Did they give expensive gifts to their girls.
- If he goes on a trip with a soulmate, then who pays - he or the amount is divided in half.
All questions of a questionnaire nature - what is his weight, height and chronic diseases - are also not the best option for the first topics for discussion.
This does not mean that these topics will be banned forever. If the relationship develops and there is a long conversation ahead, then the guy himself will tell about everything gradually, and then it will be possible to discuss it completely. But to start acquaintance by correspondence with such questions is a failure, because the guy might think that he is selected according to some parameters and want to use.
How to discuss love
Naturally, most online dating is done for romantic purposes. If the goals are more mundane, then people are unlikely to burden themselves with conversations. And once the conversation is about each other, it means that the guy is looking for a soul mate.
Therefore, this topic can be raised, but very carefully, without delving into personal life, affecting only views. Here are some questions you can ask a guy about love:
- Do you believe in love at first sight?
- How do you imagine a perfect date?
- Can love last longer than three years?
- What do you think is the basis of true love?
Often, answering such questions in detail, the guy himself begins to be frank and talk about his love experience.
Correspondence with intimate details
Sometimes, what kind of questions you can ask a guy who likes in the message cannot be compared with what courage is enough to ask him at a meeting. Sometimes discussing very intimate details in correspondence is the only chance to discuss them fully. If the correspondence is romantic, then you can try to discuss sexual preferences. And already at this stage, find out that for one of the opponents there is something unacceptable in sex.
A lot of what intimate questions you can ask a guy in correspondence. For example, the following:
- how it relates to sex before marriage;
- how does he feel about sex on a first date;
- what types of sex are acceptable to him;
- Does he have sexual fantasies?
- in what place for sex in his life.
It’s better to start asking them in ascending order. Writing about the number of partners is not worth it at all, this topic is unpleasant for many.
Real date
The more the intimate nature was discussed during correspondence, the more shy the first meeting will be. When asking such questions, you need to be aware of this.
A real date can change a lot, but also put a lot in their place. It happens that a person may have an unpleasant voice.
There is such a theory that people find attractive those whose smell was pleasant to them initially. In acquaintance through correspondence, these factors do not play any role. And perhaps that is why there are so many disappointments in a personal meeting and annoyed young people who did not at all imagine each other. Even seeing a true photo, without a gram of photoshop, consciousness will still draw on the missing factors the way it wants to.
But nothing can replace the kinship of souls and when you are understood perfectly, this is always appreciated. And it is quite possible to find out in online correspondence.