You notice that in your relationship sex is very rare. It is often very difficult to come to terms with such a situation, since until recently everything was just wonderful. But for some unknown reason, you have switched from passionate sex to daily fleeting kisses before bedtime.
Women's reasons
The girl lost the desire to have sex. And everything seems to be good - a loved one is nearby, and in life there are no serious problems. But for some reason there is no desire to plunge into intimate relationships.
Consider the most common causes that lead to a decrease in libido:
- Hormonal disbalance. The absence or presence of sexual desire regulates hormones. The causes of failure can be very diverse: from problems with the endocrine system or adrenal glands to diseases of the pelvic organs. Often, recent births have an effect on hormonal changes. An endocrinologist can help determine the cause of decreased libido. He will prescribe the necessary tests and examinations. After which, depending on the results, a treatment plan will be assigned.
- Dissatisfaction with oneself. Perhaps you think you are well or not looking good enough. Often, complexes prevent women from relaxing in bed. It is important to understand that during intimacy the partner is focused exclusively on the process. Therefore, you need to "turn off" your perfectionism and just enjoy it.
- Dissatisfaction with the partner. Often the cause of decreased libido is suppressed anger. When a man infuriates and annoys, then with him there is no desire to have sex, as anger and resentment crowd out this desire. To enjoy your intimate life again, try to sort out your inner problems and also deal with them. Only after the work done on yourself you can relax again and enjoy sex with a partner.
- Psychological reasons. Lack of desire to have sex is sometimes associated with stress. Moreover, it can be caused not by problems in bed, but by completely extraneous factors. Often it can be difficulties associated with work, relatives, as well as the usual spleen. In any case, you need to contact a psychologist, since the condition tends to develop into depression, which is quite difficult to deal with.
- High blood cholesterol. It's a shame, but the fact, love of fatty foods can prevent you from enjoying intimate caresses. This is due to the fact that elevated cholesterol disrupts the natural blood flow in the vessels. This leads to the fact that insufficient amounts of oxygen are supplied to the pelvic organs, and accordingly, the “I do not want to have sex” mode is activated. Sports, proper nutrition and outdoor walks can rectify the situation in the shortest possible time.
Female symptoms
When there is no desire to have sex in men, a woman suffers. The lack of satisfaction in terms of intimacy has a very negative effect on the health and well-being of girls. It is arranged that the fair sex can not easily solve this problem, unlike men. Women are very hard on treason, even when everything is bad in family relationships.
Consider the symptoms that appear in girls when they lack sex.
- Suffer from insomnia. Regular sex provokes the production of oxytocin, which has a strong calming effect and a positive effect on sleep.
- The constant struggle with excess weight. The girl follows diets and goes in for sports, but there is no result. The fact is that the number of heart contractions directly affects the process of burning fat. During sex, heart rate increases to 150 beats per minute. Accordingly, one sexual intercourse can burn the number of calories equal to a fifteen-minute run at an average pace.
- Irritation. In women who regularly have sex, the hormone endorphin is released, which is responsible for positive emotions. When a girl lacks intimacy, she is often annoyed over nothing. In the advanced case, this condition can lead to depression.
- Dissatisfaction with oneself. A nice and long-legged girl, when looking in the mirror, may experience a storm of negative emotions. And the beauties posting their photos on Instagram are far from always enthusiastic about their own appearance. Often, passionate sex can cure such an ailment. Women who are truly loved by men rarely encounter complexes and insecurity.
- The body loses its elasticity. With regular sexual activity , the amount of collagen increases, which allows you to keep the skin in good shape. Moreover, with sex, progesterone is produced, which prevents acne.
Men's reasons
Why does a man have no desire to have sex? Until recently, it was believed that all guys only think about intimacy. And the girls avoided sex, inventing all sorts of excuses. To date, statistics have changed a lot. And in sexual life, rejection most often comes from a man. It is important to understand that sexual dissatisfaction can be a good reason for divorce.
Consider the most common causes associated with unwillingness to have sex in men.
- Hard worker. A busy work schedule, stress and overwork are the most important enemies for any area of life. It is because of work that men often do not have enough time for their woman, family, and children. There is a working crisis, and the family fade into the background. What is sex here. Even a beloved girl in sexy lingerie or striptease can not always relax a man who is experiencing a crisis in his business.
- The disease. Often, a decrease in sexual desire in men is caused by taking antidepressants. It turns out that representatives of the strong half of humanity treat stress with medication. In the future, taking drugs leads to serious problems in the sexual sphere.
- Internet addiction. Most men do not notice how, sitting down for 5 minutes at a laptop in order to check mail, they hang there for hours. Often after this, you can hear that your partner is tired and wants to sleep. He whispers tiredly to you: "tomorrow, tomorrow, darling." And tomorrow everything repeats again.
- Female. Sometimes a man is reluctant to have sex with a chosen one, he often lingers at work. The reason for this behavior can be both the excessive sexual activity of the partner, and her complete indifference. Lack of understanding and trust between a man and a woman often becomes the main reason for the lack of sex. To solve the problem, the couple needs to talk and sort out the conflicts and misunderstandings that have arisen. But constant care, like “sawing”, can adversely affect the sexual sphere. The fact is that men have a negative attitude towards girls who behave like mommies. Therefore, relationships in bed can be pretty bad.
- Mistress. If a man gets bored with sex with one woman, he changes it to another. Perhaps you are not overwhelmed with human pleasure precisely because your partner gives all his strength to another girl.
Male symptoms
If you have no desire to have sex with your husband, then this can adversely affect your relationship. The reasons that are associated with a decrease in female and male libido were examined above. It is often unusual for women to notice that the problem lies precisely in them, and it is necessary to fight it.
Consider the symptoms that occur in men with a lack of sex.
- Persistent and obsessive ideas about intimacy arise. Of course, for many representatives of the strong half of humanity, such a symptom is also the norm with regular sex life. Therefore, attention should be paid to the appearance of obsessions, as this is a signal that indicates violations that are occurring. People most often do not notice this symptom.
- A manifestation of hatred of the female sex. Such a sign indicates not only a long absence of intimate life, but also mental disorders that need to be treated.
- Fencing from others. Often this symptom is a defensive reaction. A person is afraid to show his problems to others. Most find an outlet in the virtual world, immersed in a passion for computer games.
- Anger. It is important to understand that an aggressive man is dangerous to society. People of this type tend to inadequately perceive criticism and also react aggressively to the most harmless questions.
- An increased desire for sex. Such a symptom is characteristic both for a short-term lack of intimacy, and for a long one. Often, such men regularly look their eyes off most of the passing women. Or, switching channels, stop on a video with dubious beauties.
- The weakening of sexual desire, which occurs due to a prolonged lack of intimate life.
What if there is no desire to have sex? First of all, you need to visit a doctor and exclude possible diseases. If you are absolutely healthy, then re-read the points listed above.
Interesting fact! People who, after 30 years, have sex at least 3 times a week, look much younger than their peers who practice abstinence.
Other reasons
What to do if a man has no desire to have sex? If your husband does not arrange for you a sex marathon every night, then this is not a reason to accuse him of going to the left. The reasons for low sexual attraction can be many.
Consider the reasons that may affect the lack of sexual interest on the part of men.
- A woman is not interested in sex, and does not seek to diversify it.
- The girl stopped monitoring her appearance. The thing here, most likely, is that before marriage a woman always did beautiful makeup, styling and manicure. And after she became a wife, these procedures receded into the background.
- Dramatic weight gain. Few people will like it if a slender partner in a short period of time turns into obese. And we are not talking about 3 extra pounds, as a rule, men pay attention to an increase of 10 kg.
- Frequent failures by women. Sooner or later, the partner understands that it’s not worth the effort to achieve a good night, as, most likely, nothing will come of it again.
- Hypocrite. Very often, mothers raise their daughters so that they perceive sex as a dirty activity. Moreover, they argue that sex is necessary exclusively for reproduction and procreation. As a result, the girl grows up and engages exclusively in “pure and immaculate” sex. Often this leads to the fact that her man realizes his sexual fantasies on the side.
- Mistress. Unfortunately, in order to understand why the chosen one is in a relationship with another woman, more than one consultation of an experienced family psychologist will be required. It’s unusual for girls to think ahead of a possible rival, but it would be worth it. After all, the presence of a lover is very often the result of problems in an intimate life.
Why does a woman have no desire to have sex? There are many reasons why girls stop wanting sex. Consider the most common problems, as well as tips that can fix the situation.
- A woman is in constant stress. This is often the most common cause of decreased libido among girls. The fair sex almost always thinks about money, problems in the family and at work, and she simply does not have enough time to relax. It can be difficult to deal with this state of affairs. If the partner values his chosen one, then they will be able to cope with the problem.
- The girl feels that she is taken for granted. When a couple is in a relationship for a long time, a man quickly gets used to the fact that he gets sex on demand. However, if you want passion in your relationship, you must work on it. Do not forget to invite your beloved on dates, make her surprises and gifts. A woman should feel welcome, the only way she can surrender to you in sex for 100%.
- Perhaps you have serious problems in the relationship, because of which the chosen one does not want sex with you. In order to solve such a problem, it is necessary to bring the beloved to a frank conversation. Thus, you can find out the possible causes of the disorder in the genital area, and then try to eliminate them.
- If a woman has lost the desire to have sex with her husband, perhaps she does not receive satisfaction from sex. It is not typical for girls to tell their partner directly that he is bad in bed. To save the relationship, a man should talk with a chosen one on the topic of sex. It will be useful to once again take an interest in her desires and preferences, as well as find out how to please her.
Lack of orgasm
Why is there no desire to have sex? Very often, indifference to intimate life arises when a person does not receive pleasure and pleasure. One of the most common sexual problems among women of different ages is anorgasmia. The causes of this problem are many: from physiological, due to the work and characteristics of the body, ending with psychological factors provoked by some life situation.
Fortunately, this problem is treatable. It is in your interests to deal with its solution, as well as to find a good specialist in the field of gynecology.
Problems with orgasm are manifested in different ways:
- Complete absence.
- Possible, but only after prolonged sexual intercourse.
- It is achieved only by self-satisfaction.
Lost the desire to have sex! A woman who has faced such a problem should understand that her body is much more complicated than the male one and treatment alone in the framework of gynecology is not enough. The ability to achieve orgasm can be influenced by biological, social, and emotional factors. When searching for the reason that influenced the occurrence of anorgasmia, it is necessary to take into account past sexual experience, temperament, age, physical condition, level of self-esteem and the possibility of obtaining satisfaction in the process of self-stimulation.
Why is there no desire to have sex? After problems of a psychological nature are solved, a woman still does not feel the need for an intimate life. If all problems associated with the physiological and psychological state are excluded, then perhaps the girl should reconsider her relationship with her partner. Sometimes women tend to be afraid of an unwanted pregnancy, then they can not relax during intercourse. And without complete immersion in getting pleasure from sex, achieving an orgasm is almost impossible.
If you notice a change not for the better in your sex life, then this is a signal that it is time to seek help at a gynecological clinic.
Methods of treating anorgasmia
When a wife has no desire to have sex, she may have serious problems. As mentioned above, one of the most common causes of indifference to sex among girls is the lack of orgasm. After the examination, the specialist will be able to accurately determine the cause of this condition and prescribe the necessary treatment tactics.
Depending on the form of the problem, a specific therapy is prescribed.
- With a psychogenic problem, psychotherapeutic correction is used.
- Pathological forms involve the use of drug treatment.
- Neurotic disorders are corrected with the help of joint and individual psychotherapy sessions.
When a girl has no desire to have sex, it is very bad. Unfortunately, the lack of orgasm is familiar to many women. But do not put an end to your sex life. Modern medicine offers many techniques and methods in order to cope with such a problem.
Premature ejaculation
Why did the desire to have sex in men disappear? One of the most common sexual problems among men is premature ejaculation. Men with such a problem tend to peak 30-60 seconds after the onset of sexual intercourse, and in some cases even before penetration.
Premature ejaculation is of two types:
- Primary It arises from the very beginning of sexual life.
- Acquired or secondary. It develops in an intimate life after sexual intercourse and practices that were not accompanied by premature ejaculation.
The exact cause of this problem is unknown. The fact is that such a phenomenon is closely interconnected with psychological and biological causes.
Treatment
How to return the desire to have sex? Time for treatment. Fortunately, modern medicine can easily solve the problem of premature ejaculation. Typically, treatment options are based on the use of medication, counseling, and the use of behavioral methods. Keep in mind that it may take time to find an effective treatment strategy for you.
Dr. Kramer recommends that men who encounter such a problem begin with the use of behavioral techniques, namely masturbation without the participation of a partner. Thus, a person trains to control himself, as well as take regular breaks when the state of arousal reaches a peak.
Consider the most effective behavioral methods:
- Preliminary masturbation. It is performed 1-2 hours before sexual intercourse.
- Refusal of intimate life for a while. Sex should be replaced by other practices in order to reduce emotional pressure.
- Pause-compression technique. The correctness of the implementation will be able to demonstrate and explain to the doctor.
- Use of condoms from thick latex. They have the ability to reduce sensitivity, respectively, sexual intercourse will last longer than usual.
- Kegel exercise aimed at strengthening the pelvic muscles. When urinating, you must learn to interrupt this process for 3 seconds, and then continue again. Enough 3 sets of 10 repetitions. During this technique, make sure that breathing is even and the muscles of the hips, buttocks and abdomen are relaxed.
What if there is no desire to have sex? Be aware of a problem and seek medical advice. Remember that medicines should be selected by a qualified professional. You should not choose the first gel that comes under your arm to reduce the sensitivity of the penis. Since you run the risk of completely losing the sensitivity of the male organ.
Psychotherapeutic treatments
What to do if you have lost the desire to have sex with your husband? Today, sexual problems are very easily solved. The most popular treatment method is sex therapy. Her task is to identify problems and begin treatment. For this, a sexologist identifies somatic disorders in both partners. It is important to note that sometimes in the process of research the need for surgical intervention is revealed. In addition to treating sexual problems, the program is designed to restore a close connection between partners at a spiritual level.
An initial survey is conducted separately for each of the partners. A sexologist of the same gender asks suggestive questions that are related to the history of marriage, childhood, sexual development, and self-esteem. After that, examines the state of tactile, auditory and visual perception.
After the survey is completed, the spouses pass the necessary tests, as well as undergo examination. As soon as the cause of the sexual problems has been identified, the doctors call the patients and conduct a joint conversation with them. During the conversation, they try to convey to the couple all the mistakes that they made in life together, which became fatal for their sexual sphere. After the spouses analyze the information, they are offered methods for the treatment of disorders, as well as additional recommendations.
Non-psychotherapeutic methods of treatment
Why is there no desire to have sex in men? Sometimes the problem is hidden not in desire, but in opportunity. Unfortunately, it is noted that only 10% of men go to the doctor for help when problems arise of a sexual nature.
In recent years, significant success has been achieved in treating problems in the intimate sphere. The most striking example is the implantation of a special device in the penis, which helps to achieve an erection when a man is unable to do it on his own due to illness or injury.
Another equally popular way to treat impotence is considered to be injections of papaverine hydrochloride, which are introduced into the body of the penis. The drug activates blood circulation, which contributes to the excitation of the male organ. An erection after applying this technique can last for several hours. But, unfortunately, this method is very dangerous. According to statistics, 5-10% of men who used this method of treatment had an attack, accompanied by a very painful erection. This condition requires immediate medical attention. For women, the use of such methods is completely unsuccessful.
Ways to increase libido
How to return the desire to have sex? Before you begin to increase libido, you should find out the reason that could lead to this disorder. Once it is found, it will be much easier to neutralize the source.
If you can’t figure out what caused your unwillingness to have sex, see your doctor. Sex therapists and psychotherapists work with such problems.
How to make you want to have sex? To solve this problem, you need to familiarize yourself with recommendations that can help both partners.
- Try to eat healthy and balanced. Give preference to products, which include a lot of vitamins and minerals. Avoid fatty and fried foods. Include foods that increase your sex drive in your diet: nuts, strawberries, honey, avocados, oysters, seeds, chocolate, etc.
- Get rid of bad habits, if any.
- Relax fully and avoid overwork.
- Try to spend as little time as possible in front of the TV or at the computer.
- Put things in order in your life and things.
- Set yourself up to the fact that sex is a source of happiness and satisfaction, and not something secondary or unnecessary for life.