The real legends go about Abkhazian weddings, and even far beyond the borders of the republic itself. Their main difference is the scale and splendor of the celebration. The number of guests is always surprising, and traditions are given special attention. Some customs slowly but surely remain in the past, without others, on the contrary, not a single wedding passes. The first thing to talk about is the age of the newlyweds, because even in this matter there are certain rules that must be followed.
And how old are you?
First of all, strangely enough, they pay attention to the age of future spouses. As for men, the average age at which a strong sex is married is considered to be between 25 and 32 years old, for young women these figures are less - from 18 to 25. Practice shows that if a girl is already 25 or more, she is considered “too long”. - such ladies are already reluctant to marry. As for men, everything is much simpler when it comes to age. Their task is to earn the respect of society, to reach certain heights, and you can already ask for a wife of any lady you like.
What if the family is against?
It often happens that the relatives of the future bride are categorically against marriage. Previously, in such cases, men simply abducted their chosen one. After such a move, parents most often agree and bless the future couple. But even such an insidious plan misfires, some parents after the abduction of their beloved daughter were even more angry and there was no question of consent to marriage. Just 70 years ago, for such a disagreement, the failed groom began to take revenge on the parents of his chosen one in a variety of ways, starting with petty dirty tricks and ending with arson and even murder! Fortunately, in the modern world, such an aggressive attitude towards failure has come to naught and such cases are becoming less and less common. As can be seen from the photo, the Abkhaz wedding is a very fun event. No crime and fatal passions!
All the intricacies associated with the Abkhaz wedding
If the parents and the young lady gave their consent to the marriage, you can proceed to the betrothal. From time immemorial, it was not at all necessary for young people to exchange rings, most often they were some not so significant gizmos. Usually on the part of the girl it was something that she did with her own hands. For example, towels or shawls with national patterns. On the part of the future husband, gifts such as a horn or even a live doe were most often presented. Thus, the guy showed the relatives of his chosen one that he is a hunter and is able to feed his family. Traditionally, before the celebration, a kind of “check” by the groom is sent to the house of the future spouse. The delegation is always led by the oldest and most respected person. It can even be a neighbor, it is only important that, according to the position in society, he be on an equal footing with the relatives of the groom. The task of such a “check” is to make sure that their daughter in the new family will be treated only with respect, kindness or care.
What to do with the guests?
Since ancient times, the parents of a newly-made bride were in no way supposed to appear at the celebration. This rule applies to both mother and father. Traditionally, about 7 people from the future wife went to the wedding. And even so many guests from the bride were considered too large. And to this day, guests from the young side should behave as modestly as possible. As for the number of guests, before, traditionally about 200-300 people gathered at the celebration, now these numbers are much smaller, and the bride’s parents have long been allowed to attend the event.
Holiday menu
The most important rule is as much food as possible. Its abundance at Abkhaz weddings is amazing. Many even regret that the number of dishes is often simply excessive. After the event, there is a lot of untouched food, which sometimes just has to be thrown away or distributed to all relatives. But, as historians note, this has not happened before. Once there was a shortage of food, and everyone tried to help each other with everything possible. Traditional hot dishes are abysta and achash. They were prepared immediately and always served only hot.
Bride and groom
At a modern Abkhaz wedding, the bride and groom, or just the bride, traditionally go out to the guests. Such a tradition appeared relatively recently, because it used to be considered a real shame, if the young people went out to everyone together, it was considered indecent. Even after the wedding, a whole year, or even two newly made husband and wife, did not appear in front of their parents together. Fortunately, such a custom is a thing of the past. At the wedding, a separate place was allocated for the young, the bride could be brought to the guests only if the host of the event made a toast to the newly-made spouses. The groom did not appear during the whole event at all.
How is the holiday going?
A variety of artists, singers and dancers are invited to modern weddings without fail. Previously, only elders traditionally sang songs at the wedding, especially when the holiday was coming to an end. Also, an important custom can be considered the duty of the elders to tell various parables about the acts of the sages. If the event took place in the cold season, then in the evening burning coals were carried out so that the guests did not disperse and had the opportunity to bask, ethnologists say. Now, of course, such a rule does not exist. The hosts of the wedding have always been invited and are invited only to the most respected person, in whom everyone was 100% sure that he would not break the tradition of alternating toasts, this is extremely important at an Abkhaz wedding. No one talked about how many glasses to drink, the whole point is in respect.
All guests are required to treat each other with the utmost respect and respect. If one of those present left the holiday drunk, this is considered a disadvantage to the owners. That is why time is being pulled as much as possible. With the help of wise words, parables, stories from life, about the history of the clan or locality. Young people should carefully listen to these stories, for them this is considered a great lesson. Now this tradition has been simplified a little, in the first two hours a certain number of toasts should be pronounced and that's it. Previously, the whole essence of the wedding was not in food and drinks, but in the word of the elders.
It was also accepted that young people had to give up alcohol at all, especially while the elders were sitting at the table. If one of the adults, respected people notice that the young are drunk, this will be considered a great shame, first of all, for their relatives, and not for themselves.
Dancing
Of course, today, modern music sounds at weddings, but nobody forgets the national either. And nowhere without performing traditional dances at an Abkhaz wedding! Of course, now the technique makes it possible to turn on any kind of music at any time, but before, you had to accompany yourself with claps and everyone who knew how to sing always did it. If the elders go out to dance, then they are always given preference. The rule is, when I want, then dancing doesn’t work, it is considered a bad upbringing. At many weddings there was a dispenser, some couples of dancing were replaced by others. Usually one couple is dancing, and another girl and a guy are already waiting in line to change dancers. The choice of music and dance always rests with the host.
Abkhazian wedding raced, what's next?
The wedding is usually played at night, and on the second day the young people arranged races, and both men and women take part in them. Celebration lasts from 7 to 14 days. After that, the newly-made spouse is brought to the "Big House", the place where she will now live is called the young woman and the wife takes up her duties. There is still a huge number of rites and traditions, but all of them are slowly becoming a thing of the past. However, some customs still distinguish the Abkhaz wedding from the background of others.